Keep working from life! It seems to be doing you good!
The jaw area in your first SP is too wide, I think. Also, the right eye should be darker in value in comparison to the other which is receiving more light. Keep in mind that the eye lashes also cast a shadow on the eyeball. The cast shadow of the nose is also attracting too much attention. You don't want that. Keep one focal point, which is usually one eye that is dominant over the other. That cast shadow should probably have softer edges as well. The value on it should be lighter or even with the value of the form shadows on the side of your face and chin. The eyebrows can get darker as well, but be weary of the left brow, which has more light. The base of the nose should also be darker.
Anyway, make sure you get an accurate contour of your drawing next time. Every measurement and alignment should be correct before you start putting in tone. Note where the light is coming from. Forms that turn away from the light receive less than forms that turn toward it. Also, forms that are furthest from the light receive less than forms that are closer to it(i.e. right eye furthest, left eye closest). Common sense helps a lot.