You've got this really nice vertical black shape that is obviously the central focus of the image, and then you really dull it down by throwing in all that gray tone on the left side. I'd start it over, and use a much lighter hand for the trees on the left side of the image, so that they give the impression of a forest but are predominantly white. Also, some indication of the path that the two riders are walking on would carry the shape of that void up and down the length of the page.
I like this a lot, and though you might have overworked this one to a bit of a muddle, I think it's definitely an interesting composition that could be worth revisiting.
Oh, and I'd say both your prelims are more interesting than the final. If you worked up one the two from the more extreme angles, you could get away with more abstraction in the woods and it would be far more dynamic over all.
"You're not going crazy, Arthur! You're going sane in a crazy world!" - The Tick