This is my entry for the current illustration activity. I've put it here so I wont crowd up that thread with my pleas for advice
Basically, this thing hasnt changed in a week, because every time I try to improve it I muck around for an hour or so, get annoyed and hit "revert". Every time I try and tighten up the details (trying to eventually not need the lines) it looks like ass. Lucky i've got another week to go...
Most of the problem is that this is the first time I've tried to do anything much with painter and pen tablet. What do people usually do when the painting reaches this stage? What brushes, settings, strategies? Feel free to comment on anything you dont like about the pic, too
And the last time I thought it looked good:
I really like the camera angle on this and the poses are also very striking. One thing that would help would be to mark a place on the floor and tape a digital camera to the ceiling (or similar method of support, or anything to get the reference pics). Be one figure, then the other, making reference to your mark on the floor.
This is plagued by proportion troubles, unfortunately. The victim's head is tragically small in comparison to the body, as is the left hand. Make sure the center of the girder spider-web is placed where you want it, as it draws the eye with a powerful ferocity. If the back of the attacker's head isn't your chosen focus, you need to move the girders. I'm not saying you need to use the obvious focal point, either. Supporting the focal point a little away from the main action is a way of disconnecting the actor from the action, and when it works can be a nice way to deliver that feeling of out-of-bodyness. You also need to realize what the planet is doing to the composition. Right now, nothing. With such a high contrast, it's sitting out there drawing the eye away from everything. I also think the placement may be a tad unfortunate with regard to the title. The fact that it says "New Planet" over a planet really draws the eye. Were it to encompass more of the lower left corner, it would still give the feel of being over a planet, but much more subtley.
In the value study, you should define what parts of the victim are below the water. You can do this by notching down the values one level (or up a couple if the water is lit from within). You also need to give more clarity to the main light source. Right now, each element is telling a different story and it is muddying up the picture.
This has some huge potential and I am really looking forward to your progress.
I would agree that the picture suffers from proportionality issues, and that the extra lines around the figures seem to draw the eyes away from the main figures.
Thanks Madster (pm'ed), Dogfood and stupidude
Ok, from the sounds of it the original sketch was alot more flawed than I thought it was >.< Difficult to deny when you get comments like "tragically small" and "looks like a midget" Since I cant sketch with the tablet for crap, and I laid down to much pencil on the last sketch to change it, I've started from scratch...
Enlarged all hands, particularly the one closest to us.
Increased thickness of girl's arms (less like a praying mantis =P).
Made girl's sholders and torso less bulky.
Made guy's head bigger.
Decreased size of guy's torso and legs.
Anything else before I do details?
Dogfood: Honestly I dont know what I'm doing when it comes to composition. I thought the planet would just draw attention to the title. With the girders going towards the girl, there isnt anything else that needs to draw the eye. Too much? Make it smaller, or darker? Will shift the girders to center on the nearest hand, but they wont be as prominent when they are distorted and obscured when the ripples are done properly.
Thinking of making the water much darker so that it is reflecting a night sky, but that will make the planet pop even more...
Here we go, final line work. Will start shading tonight if there isnt anything left to fix.
EDIT ... actually, ill give jane some clothes, THEN ill start shading
Last edited by Pillick; August 30th, 2005 at 09:09 PM.
His Hand still feels off.
Looking much better!
Jane's left shoulder looks dislocated, though. Actually, both of her shoulders have problems, and this contributes to Joe's hand looking weird.
She also needs some type of lower legs somewhere in the piece. The perspective makes it difficult, but presently, it looks like the background lines (which looks MUCH better, btw) make up her lower right leg.
Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional
I am The Choosen One!
Jason sez: Draw more from Life!
OK, had a go at shading, still pretty rough, but got to try out a few combinations. Settled on this one, even though it's really dark.
The distortion is a quick 1min brush over with the turbulence tool, I know it looks like crap. =/ The water will need highlighting and shadowing and the reflections will need breaking up to make it look good.
hmm, as for the shoulders, I swear the reference does that... The hand Im just making up, and dont like either of his. I'll go back to the sketch and see what I can do. I think the water got me out of doing those lower legs =P
EDIT just realized how odd the guys body looks under water - it shouldnt obscure the reflected planet and struts, should be the other way around.
good start with the water...... but dont forgett that as things go deepeing into the water they become less clear, not blurry per se but less of the light escapes......and the light will be refecting off the top of teh watter too.....try creating a second layer over the tope to do that..... just keep playing with it and ittle work out.....
"The function of art is to stop us and take us out of our skin,
Unveiling the spirit's pure nakedness without beginning or end.
These dialogues of Maker and Seer weave together matter with soul,
Consecrating the practice of art as speech of the ineffable." ~ALEXgrey
....fear the munky
Weird! This piece really reminded me of this cover to Valiant Comics'
Solar, Man of the Atom #15 . I mean clearly its completely different, but at the same time its crazy how similar.
Don't have much crit, just thought that was funny. Maybe the cover will help for reference a bit?
A good deal of facial details are lost in your latest one. I might suggest a lighter ripple effect around his face only to retain the impact of his expression.