Life has been moving really fast for me these past few months. My full time job went into liquidation and was absorbed by another company. I was let go, so have kind of been forced into purely freelancing lately.
It's going well, mainly educational work, kids books, environmental awareness stuff. I'm in the process of updating my portfolio with more recreational type art and had just cleared my last commission (had to work through xmas and new years.)
Lately, well I had not been feeling myself. Strange pains and such. I'm a hypochondriac and generally believe I have contracted any disease just by reading about it. So my first thoughts were always the big C. I was told that I was just depressed, (partly true) and not to worry.
To cut to the chase, it is testicular cancer, after some unusual swelling I went to my doc again, who sent me to have an ultrasound on the old meat and potatoes (fun!) the nurse then called the radiologist who didnt like what he saw, I then got sent to the urologist who looked at my ultrasound images and confirmed it, cancer. The images were quite horrific, right one has been almost consumed by a fair sized tumor. This all went down on tuesday.
But hey, I was told if you get cancer, this particular one comes highly recommended. Very treatable even in late stages. My blood has been taken and they are going to do more CT scans to check for signs of the cancer spreading.
I am going in for surgery on Friday, they are removing my right nut through my abdomen! (They don't cut the scrotum like I thought they would)
Being a guy, who is a total dork but who enjoys working out and at least looking tough, I was not thrilled at this prospect. But I've been told this won't affect my testosterone levels. But having kids could be an issue. Possibly.
After the surgery, there might be either radiation or chemo, which I truly am terrified of. There's always the chance that hey, maybe this will be the cancer gone and that's what I'm gunning for, but I won't know for sure for a little while yet.
My poor wife has been really strong about it, but she cried a lot when I got the news and was crying some more this morning. Fortunately her law firm said she can stay with me for the next couple of days. Telling my folks was unpleasant.
Yeah, I don't really post on any boards except this one, I joined a TC support group, but am awaiting account activation. I haven't told any of my friends except my closest pal.
I just thought given the diverse melting pot of people here and all your experiences, maybe someones even been through cancer or had similar surgery done? I'll be sure to let you guys know how it goes.
Past couple of years have been insane, leaving the force, father in law captured in Sudan, my dog died, unemployed, cancer was the only logical next step.
But fuck it, I've been making jokes about it, I'm not actually scared of the cancer itself. I'm more scared of the treatment. As long as I can still draw and create and I have my other half, I'm sorted.