I am 25. I have my BFA in painting. I can draw really well when I'm looking at something. I am a skilled copier of things in front of me... I've never admitted that before.
This talent has gotten me through a lot, all the way through art school, but in many ways I feel like I've been faking it. I don't have an *actual* understanding of what the human form is like, the underlying structure, or why things look a way they do. I can't draw anything from my head because I don't understand how things work.
I've lurked on CA since 2005, coming in for moments, being amazed at this community, getting overwhelmed, then pushing it away again. I was overwhelmed by the beautiful skill that I saw and the vast amount of work that lie between myself and those images.
These feelings of fear and being overwhelmed made me push all art away after school. Now I'm a few years out of school and I'm looking at my life. What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Do I want to be having a conversation when I'm 40 and be saying, "Yeah, I have my degree in Art, ppfffftt, that was some bullshit. I don't use it AT ALL"?
The answer: No. I desperately do not want that version of my life to become my truth. To that end, I'm here. I'm creating my first images in years. I feel like I've put the training wheels back on my bike and I'm starting from square one.
Hopefully my sketch thread will be approved soon (I posted it 48 hours ago, should I be worried? Are you notified if a thread is rejected?) and I can start posting my daily sketch work.
So, Hello. Lurker becomes poster and participant, in this community and in her own life. I like friends. Say hello.