This will probably be long and boring for you to read, and you might get annoyed because it looks like I'm only lamenting, sorry about that.
Anyway.. I just got back from drawing class today (dual enrolled senior in highschool), and I was so frusterated I had a headache. Basically when I started the class, I thought I was pretty good, and my teacher keeps telling me i'm her best student she's ever had... but I, excuse my french, am really fucking frusterated.. right now (end of class) I don't think I am good at all.
Today, we had to draw a still life of a model and a still life and we had an hour. Halfway through I couldn't stand how shitty my "drawign" looked and i just started over. The 2nd time around it looked just as bad, so i took my darkest pencil and just scribbled as hard as i could because i was frusterated (I know it looks like i have anger problems.. but i dont, more on that later though).
I don't know, but i have some ideas of why I get so angry, but I just need guidance or support. Everyone's liek blah blah you'll get better but that doesn't reassure me at all. If anything I've gotten WORSE since the class started...
Here are my ideas
1. I think my expectations have changed, although im not quite sure. Just before art class i spent 3 hours browsing all the excellent work on CA. (not just this time, but lately ive looked at lots of life drawing threads etc). Maybe its because i expect that my work will be like (or even close to) the work of the professional artist's sketches here... thats obviously not the case, but maybe ive raised my expectations and i cant meet them, although i dont think this is the biggest thing.
2. What frusterates me the most is just simply how much i suck... Like Say i look at the model and i see her shirt. Ill draw the shirt and when i finish i stand back and look and see how completely off it is... no matter how many times i try. After im warmed up, i do a little better but still not good. Another thing that might happen is ill look at her shirt, and draw it, then ill be like yes.... GOOD i finally got it.. then ill draw her pants and ill be lik eGOOD i got it.. but then if i look at the relationship between the tip of the pants and the tip of the shirt tehy are way off and i want to just scribble all over my paper..
bah.. i dont even remebmer what i was saying. i wne to go get a hamburger and im not as frusterated anymore.
i dunno if anyone can even understand my babble/complaining.
i just feel like i suck and im getting worse, i cant draw worth shit (and its my favorite thing to do ironically)