Hey guys. Just wanted some feedback on some boards I'm working on. I'd say I spend an hour on a greyscale frame before I hit it with color...depending on the board.
I wanna get quicker and better obviously. Any critical suggestions or compliments would be appreciated.
I basically wanna know if you think I'm industry ready. I just graduated from Ringling and need a job. And I really like film making.
Well, these boards are for a music video Im gonna direct if we can get the budget covered. Theres a lot of cross cutting between shots so the boards wont make sense unless your looking at the whole thing.
So from the ones you see, I basically wanna know what you guys think on my timing and execution. And any suggestions on how I can improve would be awesome.
When you first see the girl in the white dress she should have her head turned a little to her left - that would lead into the next camera angle better. Besides, she's looking to the left in that shot anyway.
I also feel like there should be an establishing shot from a high viewpoint. Is that woman in the first panel the singer?
Last edited by SquareSquare; January 21st, 2011 at 03:24 PM.
I was thinking along the same lines as Squared, except I think it looks even more awkward for the boy to turn his whole body around and then smile/stare like that. I'd keep him turned away as he is in the previous panel.
Overall, I like the cinematic feel of your boards and your use of colors. I'd recommend focusing on anatomy study, as for example, the woman in the back/mid-ground of the first panel is distractingly oogly.
hahaaa Yeah no one is gonna hit on her in that joint lookin like that. The singer is actually suppose to be the dude in the second to last panel. They are all suppose to have that barcode on their wrists. i still have to put the barcode in on that second to last panel. Its the same dude thats gripping the mic.
Yeah Im gonna do some more structuring as far as anatomy. Its just gonna make my job easier.
What about my timing? I'd say an hour and fifteen on each one? Do I need to speed it up a bit to meet industry standards? Im not sure what the industry standard is on speed.
Let me show you guys the boards that came prior. Looks different texturally cuz Im still experimenting.
I'm not really feeling the flow here, to be honest. For one thing, there's no shot connecting the wrist with the microphone with anyone until much later, which immediately has me wondering what's going on. The previous boards don't seem to connect to them at all, and then suddenly we've got two little kids (flashback? parallel situation in the present? I dunno!).
Ignoring the random shot of the crowd, you're basically showing the little girl's face, then her back, then her face again, then a POV shot of the boy she's looking at. It comes off a bit jumpy.
Anyhow, jump back to the singer with no visible mark on his right arm...huh. Guess it wasn't him earlier after all. Followed immediately by a bunch of armed men bursting through a door, when there were no doors apparent in any of the previous scenes.
I'd recommend a bit of study of cinema. I'm reading The Five C's of Cinematography, which is a classic, and would recommend it. I'd also recommend Dream Worlds by Hans Bacher, which has a lot of useful information on laying out composition boards. You might also start getting in the habit of breaking down movies that have good composition to find out how they tick, and really looking at how the camera maintains flow from one shot to the next. I recommend starting with Once Upon a Time In the West, and pretty much anything by The Archers or Akira Kurosawa.
The Nezumi Works Sketchbook - Now in progress
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"Skill is the result of trying again and again, applying our ability and proving our knowledge as we gain it. Let us get used to throwing away the unsuccessful effort and doing the job over. Let us consider obstacles as something to be expected in any endeavor; then they won't seem quite so insurmountable or so defeating." - Andrew Loomis
@Nezumi Thanks for the feedback man. Thanks to everyone. The soldiers are actually a cut to another scene. Not sure if I should leave it for the next page though since its another scene. Thing with this is that its a music video, and though it is telling a story, the way its cross cutting between subplots, its hard to follow i guess plus this is only one page so its hard to get an overall picture of whats going on.
But i should communicate things better just for the sake of communication. i will keeo that in mind. Thanks for the tips.