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IDW #107 Topic: Abstract Sculpture
Deadline: Wednesday, August 26
No voting for your own entries! I repeat, no voting for your own entries
Give critiques and comments, we're all here to learn from each other!
Original thread: IDW #107: Abstract Sculpture
Last edited by yoitisi; August 29th, 2009 at 06:20 PM.
This is a game cube. It is also holographic. As you move the cube around in your hand the images move together. Your task is to go to the desert, find the clue in the pinnacle and continue on to the designated village to talk to the man.
First time at IDW, was a fun brief
 Forgot that i needed the description after i removed it! [whoops ;p] - Within the ruins of a forgotten settlement, explorers discover a sculpture in memory of a freedom-fighter- who gave their life to defend a frontier colony. The sculpture itself is made from recovered parts of the spacecraft they piloted.
Last edited by PheKt; August 18th, 2009 at 04:04 PM. Reason: description! :)
The statue Reflection is found at the centre of Hargrave Park. As a park in the centre of a bustling city, it is an oasis for peace and calm. Every morning you can find citizens doing Tai Chi and meditating in the clearing around it.
Deep beneath the ocean's waves lies a hidden gate. Atop this massive structure, whose purpose is a mystery, sits the sculpture of a large isopod. Larger than life to be sure, but how much larger?
Last minute entry. I hope this is okay.
The people from the city never climbed the hill - fearing what they didn't understand. It was late march when the the first rumors started to circulate amongst the more observant citizens. The summit of the hill was beginning to change shape... beginning to grow. But few people took notice of the gossip back then as they had more localized rumors to contend with. It seemed things were going missing.
Only little things at first, like sections of fencing, containers, and scrap metal. But by mid Autumn, larger things were vanishing. Engines, telephone poles, corrugated roofs - even whole sections of airplanes. The city officials were at a loss as to what to do. The ever growing shape on the neighboring hill was obviously at the heart of the matter, but the people from the city never climbed the hill; they feared what the didn't understand.
But then, as the last of winters cold embrace had began to fade into Spring, the disappearances stopped.
The first rays of dawn had already cast their light upon the city below when the old man reached the foot of the hill. He noted to himself, as he always did, that the sun broke upon his back a few steps earlier than it had the day before. Several months ago he would have already reached his shack at the summit and be in his cot with a belly warm with sup; but the year gone had been long and he feared the chill of the winter would stay with him this time. Stumbling, with a heavy load of metal at his shoulder, he halted for a while and lifted his head to the structure above - his gaze taking in each section in turn. A sudden smile alighted on the old mans face, and for a moment his wrinkled brow softened into youth. He hauled the metal from his shoulder and gave it to the brambles that lined the trail.
That morning, when the people in the city below had just begun to stir, the old man lay down in his cot and decided he would sleep from now on... his work being done.
Some small notes on this round as usual:
I was planning on doing a quality check before putting up the poll, but I think overall this round has some okay entries so I see no reason to start with it just yet
A few notes though:
Goyim: This one made me hesitate a little, but I think the concept is clear enough (though it's basically a cube, and a little wonky at that...kudos for doing it the traditional way though).
NickTrip: That is actually a rather figurative sculpture, rather than abstract. Even though it's an alien/bug form, its still a representation of a living organism.
Yeah I realized that my idea wasn't really appropriate (neither abstract nor simplified human) after I submitted it and went to work. Sorry about that.
I'll make sure I stick to the brief for the next one.
Thanks yoitisi for administrating and sorting out the round
hm, i'm pretty new to forum critique-ing [be gentle if i overstep myself] but i'll give it a shot.
Goyim - interesting idea making your sculpture holographic, but remember cubes have all their sides the same length- be careful not to shorten/elongate lines and make sure vertical sides are straight. Check out the links in yoitisi's sig for stuff on perspective and line drawing.
Kristal - I very much like the small archways, really made me think of de Chirico - however, I would concentrate on getting your ellipses correct. The disc on the back of the sculpture is an example of how this can affect symmetry.
paradoxba - perspective on the sculptures' base looks a little off, notice how the face of the cuboid we cant see appears almost horizontal - whereas the face closest to us appears to be at a greater downwards angle. Smooth blending and design, my favourite part being the detail on the prongs that go down the sculptures 'spine'.
Pixie-Trick - the side of the sculpture closest to the left edge of the image needs straightening up a little, as it appears to be curving towards the right. Im also not sure the reflection from the water would create such a sharp edge on the sculptures' face; it would more likely be something softer and diffuse judging by the nature of the material. [sorry if i sound like a pretentious git, i cant think of any other way to explain it ]
NickTrip - while the small air bubbles indicate its underwater, the background feels a little unclear and could be confused [i thought it was aurora borealis without reading the description]. The attention to the different textures is awesome.
Munin-Raven - great design and nice backstory, although some idea what type of scale this is wouldve been good to see, and also a better defined lightsource.
Ill have to leave it for a few days though, off to visit some family til' sunday. hope it was some help anyways
Goyim - I really like your idea, I think it's a great solution, but your design is very hard to read. Is it supposed to show different moments in time of the same game? It probably would have been best to show the game cube in a few different states, starting simple and increasing in complexity, so that your viewer is more able to understand how it would work.
Kristal Lee - Your piece has a good mood going for it. It reminds me of Myst where you find elaborate looking machines out of context and just have to figure out what it does. I agree with PheKt about the elipses, but its also a little confusing how your sculpture sits in space.
paradoxba - I really like your backstory a lot and you have a really cool natural assymetrical design going. The only thing is that I really prefer the line drawing over the painting. You may be better off just letting your line work do some more of the heavy lifting for you. Just my opinion though.
PheKt - Really great work! The overall composition really works well and the design of your commemorative sculpture is interesting and well done. I would say though that some of the mark making in upper right and upper left of the image (in the bg) could be a little neater, maybe with a different shape brush.
Pixie Trick - You have a really nice style going. It reminds me of traditional pastel images. I really like the linework and texture you've put in the trees. It seems that there is a tangent where the sculptures "foot" meets the edge of the reflecting pool. Pull it a little more away from it or move it overlapping in front or behind the pool.
Munin Raven - Your is the entry I voted for. The story was really nice and contributed to the artwork. It has a good old man and the sea feel to it. Your abstract sculpture is well designed and engaging and your abstract composition is dynamic and interesting. I really think you did the best job overall. The bigger branches on the right of the composition look a little blurry and sloppy but that's all I'm seeing right now that could be immediately improved. Great work!
Goyim - I don't know how to look at this. There isn't a lot of indication how this exists in real space.
Kristal Lee - The perspective on the geometric shapes is a bit off and I don't really understand where or why they all fit together. By "why", I mean I didn't really get any feeling or gesture out of the sculpture.
Paradoxba - I think you have some mood in the sculpture, but there isn't enough movement through the sculpture to make it interesting. I think it kind of moves vertically in a structural way, but I think the more interesting ones move also between light and shadow and the pacing of light and shadow in yours is pretty uniform with the exception of the indicated orbits. But, I had a second look, and I think yours could look more interesting if you changed the indications of the light source. Right now you have this kind of "global illumination" thing, but you would get better shadows with a strong zenithal light.
Pixie Trick - Probably the most practical and realistic. The shape is interesting, but their is a lot of saturation competing in the picture.
NickTrip - It's a giant bug! Hopefully it is next to an even larger sculpture of a boot.
Munin Raven - I'm not sure what it is, it looks like a pile of junk, but it was presented in the most interesting way. I didn't read the descriptions, but I saw yours and immediately thought: "that's cool!" The light and shadow create great depth and are paced interestingly. The erratic lines of the structure reinforce the junkiness of it. I keep looking back at it and I still find it really intersting.
PheKt - Also, interesting aesthetic. I think color would have helped create more interest and focus.
Goyim: I like the holographic idea as a form of light sculpture. Others have pointed out the areas for concern.
Kristal Lee: I really like the flat look at the bottom of the painting. Maybe the sculpture should have been rendered in the same way as it doesn't sit well within the environment. I like the steampunk aspects, though.
Paradoxba: Nice backstory and a cool design. It may have benefited from a few bigger dark contrasting areas?
Phekt: I like the vertical elements in this and the loose shapes that make up the underside/base of the sculpture. The steam (?) from the vents is a little offputing.
Pixie Trick: I like the fun element to this and the pink BG push this idea further. The placement of the pool doesn't work for me, and I would be inclined to have the sculpture actually in the pool instead. The reflections would add to the tranquility.
Nick Trip: Very nice technique and a cool idea to draw from isopods. I think the sculpture could benefit from being a lot more abstract and maybe darkening the background somewhat would create more contrast. Cthulhu fan?
Munin Raven - Thanks. Yeah I had some trouble with the bg and getting the situation across. I think generally (and especially with this technique) I tend to have some trouble with my darks. I am a Lovecraft fan!
Munin Raven & Phekt
cool atmospheric pieces both.
Please check out today's character.
The cube would be able to fit in your hand. The tasks in the cube is your game. At the end of the task the cube would be inserted into a key hole and that would begin your quest to find the next cube which would lead you to your next journey. If we turn the cube upside down, there is basically the other side of the cube. So all of the pictures are on this two deminsional plane.
yoitisi: Thanks for the go. I am working on getting a rule.
Thanks for all your thoughts.