I think to focal point will be the sword once it is incorporated into both the drawing and the sculpture. Because it is missing from this sketch I believe that is what is giving you the impression that it is lacking something. Actually, I think it is quite good. I like the idea of it being in 3D but it will be a timely endeavour. I would also like to see this deeply textured and colorfully presented. I look forward to your finish product.
"Creativity emerges only when the imagination is given the freedom it deserves."