I'm sorry..I know you were trying to capture th emoment, but this made me laugh a little(I must be on something...) and reminds me a bit of Thriller.
I like the perspective alot. Gives the creepy feeling that he's gonna step on you or lean down and bite you. Whoa and for some reason I feel dizzy while looking at his neck and face...yeah I'm definately on something.
Great job in outline their bodies and doing an almost inverted black and white color scheme. Everything's looking good!