The main site->
The first 17 pages of the comic->
Thoughts much appreciated
Lot of effort there. Much Kudos for the effort. Story seems kinda cool. Colors are nice. I did like the cryogenic chamber set. And the "look" of it is very different than most comics I've seen. And I am not saying you aren't really talented....
But I'm sorry to say it, but the very first thing that hit me was annoyance that I was looking at photoshop filters on montaged photos... and not actual drawings. Gives it a real soulless and boring feeling.
I guess your art is in the conception of the story and the panels, like a director of a movie. Fair enough. I'll just talk about the storytelling.
In that regard it was portentious and lacking in dynamism. I don't quite know why. It may be that the use of all the photo stuff is stifling your visual imagination. The figures weren't expressive. The faces were blanks. The compositions were obvious and often times didn't read well in silhouette and there was a dull blankness to a lot of the pictures -- as if, if there wasn't a photo of something handy, you couldn't imagine putting it in there (almost no foreground stuff). The only tension that ever got expressed was via some special effect or other. Meaning, for me, there was almost no human drama at all in the art (The human drama should be evident from the art alone, dialogue is secondary. I stopped reading the dialogue after the 3rd panel where the expounding of the exposition starts happening... that's the classic rookie writer mistake -- having a character tell the back story, instead of letting the mystery of the back story stew in the reader's mind as bit by bit clues are seeded into the narrative by the writer.).
Although, I liked that one three panel eye opening where the third panel is glowing. That was pretty vivid. Most everything else left my mind instantly. But overall I saw a lot of standing around and walking and explaining. That's a problem with storytelling, and I don't just mean the writing. Even a weak story can be dramatized effectively with enough compositional and figural and cinematic creativity.
You really need to check out Robert McKee's "Story". And definitely some books on camera motion. And look at the comics of Neal Adams and Mike Mignola and Frank Miller to get a feeling for "directing" on paper. Read Truffaut's inteview with Hitchcock.
And jeez... all the photoshopping with glows and find edges and solarizing and watercolor and this and that... god, I don't know what to say... I just had to stop looking after a while.
Sorry for the harsh crit.
At least Icarus tried!
My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:
My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:
Trust is- I've still only been doing this a couple years. I'ts comforting to me to look at other webcomics over the years and see how the art developed.
I get alot of shit for the filters. It's the only way to solve certain problems, mostly the issue of time. I plan to release more than a thousand pages. If I want that to happen during my life time I need to cut alot of corners.
If it were to take off and I were making a living off it, the first thing I would do would be to hire a pixel painter and have him go over all my composites, but for now, this is all I got.
I've worked pretty hard on the dialogue, but I'm obviously not a great writer. My passion is CG, and this is really a CG project. That's where most of the time goes. For this project I've had to learn the basics of story telling as well as photography, desktop publishing, photoshop, etc. I can live with my best effort on the script, as I don't see Charlie Kaufmann jumping in to help me with it.
Thanks for your sincere reply. Always appreciated.
Been working on a banner add. Would you click on this?
Probably gonna advertise on both something awful and something positive.
Worked my ass off on this new pannel. Still a WiP, but no filters yet, and I think it's looking pretty good. Thought I'd get some feedback.
i think u have alot of potential
some artist u should check out is probebly Christofer shy, does a FKING AMAZING work on the coheed and cambria comic
and then ashley wood to, they both use alot of photostuff,BUT they draw on top of em, i think u could develop alot by studying their work, if u dont know em allredy, anyhow...i like what ur doing
what Kev said is really good advice for you, just one thing....in the first or second page or whatev it is, it said "ten years from now" that kinda bugged me, i thought it was ten years from NOW(2007) at first, and i mean, wer not even talking EARTH here are we? >,<
other then that, me like, keep posting
Last edited by Lotet; August 19th, 2007 at 07:19 AM.
So on the story side of things-> what would you like to see in the upcoming battle?
Now that you've read the first 19 pages you've been introduced to these guys->
Who are going to face off against these guys->
You've seen the fighters->
And they'll be up against these dragonesque creatures called “Cliff Divers”->
The fight takes place here (early WiP)->
-the airfield where the fighters are rearming. That's a glacier they'll be landing on, and there will be trenches melted into the ice, and some fixed defenses.
What would you like to see happen? Any thoughts? Ideas? Stuff you think would be cool? Things I might be over looking? Thanks
Here is a shot of the Cliff Diver walking->
They walk to the top of tall cliff and then- you guessed it- dive off, and glide around for a while looking for food.