Bride Groom

[Campbell]

Hey guys,

Been working on this image on and off for a while now, it's given me a lot of hassles.
More than anything in recent memory, this work in particular has needed lots of going over, leaving, coming back to, and so on.
I feel it's finally finished though.

Critiques and opinions on the work would be greatly appreciated as there's probably problems that I've become blind to.

[ArtisticSchmidt]

I don't feel like the background goes with the people. It just doesn't seem cohesive. Maybe it's just me though. That might be the problem. I say you should either loose the big black outlines or make the background darker and perhaps put some compliment colors to contrast with the figures. I also think you should lighten the shadow on the left, the rest of the room seems so bright and then all of a sudden darkness. I like the idea though... sometimes it's easier to start a new piece that's similar rather than playing with the same one. Just keep learning. That's my advice. I hope this helps.

[BMunchausen]

I'd say yeah, the background isn't very cohesive with the figures and they sort of don't go together because of the lighting. The man's face makes it look like they're in some kind of red lighting, but the squid doesnt' have evidence of that. The black outline is definitely too harsh and the shadow's probably too dark too.

I really like the idea though - very uncliche and wierd, in the best possible sense.
I enjoy the figures and the idea of the huge, scary pile of roses in front of them.

[Danilo]

I think that shadow is too unatural.

[DynamiteKid]

I like this piece and I can see a few things that could be changed to improve the overall painting's strength significantly. As others have mentioned, the shadow is a bit too sudden and/or dark. I would also venture to say that it doesn't really tie in/match up with the the rest of the piece because the shadow's rendering is in a different style than, for example, the shadows cast upon the bride. I also see that the style of the painting is surrealistic so I think the background works well with the figures. However, the dark and thick outline around the bride and some of the groom doesn't seem to have any value in that it doesn't add to the painting. It actually takes away by drawing unnecessary attention. The composition seems a bit unbalanced with the roses/bride/groom at a position that is a bit awkward. One criteria I have for sort of "testing the waters" of an art piece is seeing if anything catches my eye "at a glance". And if something does, I have to discern whether or not whatever caught my eye is a positive or a negative. The composition, shadow, and outline are negatives from my point of view.

I really like the look of the roses, the bride and groom, and the background all together. If you centered those elements and take away the shadow as well as the dark outline around the bride and groom, I think it would improve the piece.

[Campbell]

Thanks for your time guys, it's greatly appreciated.

I've been fiddling around with the image some more.
Trying out what you guys have suggested so far.
These were done as thumbnails, so I could quickly see the changes.



On the top row the variations are...

1. Original version (included as a reference point)

Thoughts: Was quite happy with this piece until I started making adjustments that had been suggested.

2. Version without the black outline or dark shadow.

Thoughts: Doesn't hold together at all. The problems I can see are that the values aren't balanced or interesting. The edge of the Bride loses definition because and she looks all washed out. Perhaps bringing in deeper shadowing on her would help define her form and seperate her from the background. Looking at this version, they look even more seperated from the background.

3. Version with shadow, outline and darker background.

Thoughts: I think the adjustments made to this piece are my favorites. I still like the black outline of the figures. But now it makes it feel more, organic. There isn't such a large division between them and the background that occurs in the other pieces.

4. Version without outline but with darker background.

Thoughts: If I wanted the image to be more naturalistic, then this would be the one I'd follow through with. But it just doesn't have the same pop as the 3rd version for me. More so, It almost wouldn't feel like my work, it's kinda strange that such a small change can make me feel that way...

Now the second row, is just all the versions from the first row but cropped. I was looking through some older versions of this work that I had saved and found that when I began the image was actually cropped in this fashion. I'd extended the "canvas" on the left so I could accomidate the Grooms shadow. This might explain some balancing issues.

1. Thoughts: This image looks strange with the Grooms shadow almost grabbing at his neck. Doesn't look any better than the larger version.

2. Thoughts: I think this version looks a lot better than it's uncropped sibling. Helps the image sit better now that the right edge of the canvas isnt' the same as the left. But none of the other problems with this version are solved.

3. Thoughts: I like this version, it's got a different dynamic to its uncropped counterpart. I think the main reason is because the uncropped version is read as being a straight out, posed wedding photo (or at least that's the idea). But when it's framed so that the groom is partially cropped, it's harder to know what to make of it. I don't think I like it more than the uncropped version though.

4. Thought: I think this version has essentially the same benifits as the cropped number 2. But still doesn't rock my world.

BMunchausen: It's interesting that you read the Grooms face as having a red light on him. The concept is that he is red, and that the greens are the highlights. I wanted to have a strange light source that was situated in the space between their heads. It's not ment to make physical sense. But if doesn't look right in a bad way then that's not a good thing.

Thanks for the comments everyone else. There's not much else to say to them because I tried most of them out.

(Is there a way this thread can be moved to the WIP forum? I guess it doens't belong here any more.)