Feel like I'm on the wrong course

[HAJiME]

I increasingly feel like I'm on the wrong course. I take Illustration, and in the scheme of things it's a very liberal use of the word "illustration", but it's becoming increasingly evident that it's not liberal enough.

I don't care for making art which comments on the "contemporary depictions of beauty" or "positive aspects of youth culture today" and yet more and more it's rained down that in order to be an illustrator, you have to care about everything current so much that you can form a ball of close-mined ignorance on a magazine page.

I've never wanted to do this kind of thing, and the increasing number of briefs aimed at making this kind of worth forces me into an area I'm going to fail at before I've even started, in comparison to those who do naturally give a damn.

What do I want to do? I don't know, really. But I'm fairly sure that my lecturers are ignorant of concept art, because it's not the face of any product. So when I try and contextualise work by stating that "it's a design for a set for a film about..." for example, I get, "but where's it going to be seen?" Eugh!

I rarely "finish" works, because by the time I get half way I've bettered the original idea of way of working so vastly much I start over. And I find it hard to force a context into something. We are often given projects where we are expected to find out own context, and that just seems backwards to pull a context our of nowhere after weeks of working with a theme on ideas and visuals.

Something else I get criticised of is having too many ideas, writing too much, and not drawing enough. I've been pushed into this way of working from years of not being allowed to make any art unless it means something so profound and up it's own arse, Saatchi would approve.

I struggle immensely with bringing my own knowledge and interests to my university work, because every time I do it gets poo-pooed. No help is offered to merge the two. Does anyone else have this problem?

I've spoken to lecturers, and they appear to embrace my way of working when I talk to them - but I then just get bad feedback on the actual work and the constant "but where will it be seen?"

Does anyone else have similar problems/concerns?

[Storyboard Dave]

One thing you don't mention is what year you are and what school you're attending, but I do hear what you're saying and it sounds like some underclassmen gripes of this nature.

If that's what you are, realize that you might feel stifled because you're still in foundation level classes. The instructors at that level are supposed to make sure you and your classmates get relevant skills- it's not necessarily the most pretty of artwork or the most creative but it will hone your skills.

You just might want to run before you can walk within your program.

Also if you don't finish any form of artwork, the only thing you're proving to anyone is that you can't complete an assignment. It doesn't matter whether you have a great idea twenty minutes into the start of the project but from an instructor's point of view, you're just not producing or you're incapable. You need to be able to finish something... anything, even if it's just to show your ability to finish. Your ability to write isn't being questioned but in an art class, you have to produce visuals. You can write up the most brilliant concepts but if you can't bring it to fruition visually, you've missed the mark in this- an art class. Simply put, you still have to produce something.

I understand your frustration but honestly have you produced enough for your instructors to critique? You sound as though you have some wonderful concepts and ideas but in this scenario, I think you just need to be able to crank out some artwork for people to see.

Also take a look at some of the upperclassmen work, is it anything that looks like what it is you want to do? Maybe there's something there to give you hope as to what you can look forward to. If there isn't and you truly feel as though your program isn't right for you, then transfer to a program that can support you. Why waste any more time and effort in a place where you're not growing?

Good luck.

[HAJiME]

My course is a 3 year course and I did a foundation separately before that.

I'm in my second year. So I'm 2 years past foundation.

I feel like throughout foundation, and the first year of this course, I was allowed to grow artistically without concern for "finished" pieces of work - and it's created bad habits. And now I can't Finnish anything.

As for being taught skills. Ha, I've practically forgotten how to draw, because It's not been a priority of the courses for so long. If I draw, in the traditional sense, I have to fit that into my own time. I've not done life drawing since foundation, and I we only did it twice then!

Abandoning ship isn't an option for me. I'm not willing to throw away the two years worth of lecturing fees I've payed.

I just feel like they are ignorant of the fact that some people don't want to be stereotypical illustrators (children's books, or editorial illustrators), which seems completely in contrast with the first project set.

I suppose I've answered my own concerns in this post. I need to put my own time and effort and concerns to compliment my studies more, but It's finding the non-existent time.

[Storyboard Dave]

Originally Posted by HAJiME

I feel like throughout foundation, and the first year of this course, I was allowed to grow artistically without concern for "finished" pieces of work - and it's created bad habits. And now I can't Finnish anything.

From the sounds of it, you need to re-learn some of the better habits. It can be done though.

Originally Posted by HAJiME

Abandoning ship isn't an option for me. I'm not willing to throw away the two years worth of lecturing fees I've payed.

I wouldn't call it "abandoning ship" at all. If it's seriously not the program for you, chalk it up to experience and move on. Sometimes people change their minds upon entering a program or they find out that the program really isn't what it is they expected. There's no shame in changing course for your own happiness. There's a fine line between being doggedly stubborn and being brave enough to let go of a bad experience.

Originally Posted by HAJiME

I just feel like they are ignorant of the fact that some people don't want to be stereotypical illustrators (children's books, or editorial illustrators), which seems completely in contrast with the first project set.

I suppose I've answered my own concerns in this post. I need to put my own time and effort and concerns to compliment my studies more, but It's finding the non-existent time.

It really does sound as though you've thought out what your program has to offer- and what it lacks. Yes, you will have to take the bull by the horns and follow your own course of action beyond school, but then you're not the only one. A lot of schools can offer very basic tools to survive in the real world but when it comes right down to it, it's the individual that has to have the impetus to go forth with those skills.

Best of luck.