Advice needed...

[jubjubjedi]

I've been messing around with this image but I can't seem to pinpoint what is wrong with it... I'm guessing it's probably a composition issue. This image wasn't really planned out as it started out as a speed painting attempt over a completely unrelated image, hence the current confusion, LOL. Feel free to tear it apart!

-Updated, for some reason, the colors and values seem a bit off when displayed in this thread... it's suppose to be somewhat darker-

[Jason Rainville]

As a quick fix I might suggest flipping the guy with the sword (he's really confusing the overall direction of the battle) and possibly having something in the foreground to get us more into the action.

[jubjubjedi]

Thanks! I'll definitely try out your suggestions.

[jubjubjedi]

Updated based on Jason's comments above, and I also widened the piece a little...

[Rockman!]

Here's some advice I gave a while ago, with a few edits to fit your piece.

Originally Posted by Rockman!

Hm...I think you may have gone to detail too soon on this one. When I saw it from the main critique forum, I couldn't tell what it was. Of course, when I saw the bigger version, I saw your super awesome amazing rendering and gorgeous detail!

Unfortunately, the base value doesn't seem to be working. Your lightest light and darkest dark are at the swishy fire at the bottom, so unless that's the most important object in the picture, that should probably be toned down. The rest of the value doesn't read very well, and makes the super cool main guy blend with the background.
A good way to solve this in the beginning is to do a rough value massing, and only THEN get to all the robots and other juicy details. Make sure to squint at your picture, or zoom with photoshop till it's all tiny. If it's still clear what's goin on, you're on the right track.

Just check out Frazetta or some other master and check out how they do this.

[jubjubjedi]

Originally Posted by Rockman!

Here's some advice I gave a while ago, with a few edits to fit your piece.

Thanks for the crit! Well the lightest light and the darkest dark are not on the sword/fire only, per se, but on the foreground figure as a whole, but are you still saying that I should tone down the value of the fire?

As for the rest, basically separate the foreground, middleground, and background with more distinctive values, correct?

[Raoul Duke]

I'm not sure what the baldy in the foreground is doing. If he's swinging a fire sword, then his pose is too reserved.

Their facial expressions feel stiff.

The machine in the background could use some atmosphere.

The composition seems pretty solid. It would be easier for me to note how it's leading the eye if it were a little smaller.

[Rockman!]

You're fire is yellow-white. Almost all of your image is blue. The white of the fire is RIGHT next to the black-grey-DARK (and purple! purple & yellow are compliments, so even moar contrast!) part of the main guy's suit. The guy's face tries to compete, but it is only slightly lighter than mid-value, so it cries and goes home while the white fire takes the gold medal for focal point.

[jubjubjedi]

Originally Posted by Rockman!

You're fire is yellow-white. Almost all of your image is blue. The white of the fire is RIGHT next to the black-grey-DARK (and purple! purple & yellow are compliments, so even moar contrast!) part of the main guy's suit. The guy's face tries to compete, but it is only slightly lighter than mid-value, so it cries and goes home while the white fire takes the gold medal for focal point.

LOL! So tone down the value of the sword and change the color to something more analogous to the surrounding blues, if I am hearing you correctly, yes?

[Venger]

Think it's more the pose of the swordsman.
On my first view I didn't get that he was wielding an energy blade of some kind.
Think you need to show a bit more movement in his pose. His arms don't read right for such a powerful sweep, show a bit more of the sword and drag some more of the enemy into the blades slice (or at least some of the enemy colours anyway)
Quick PO to show what I mean.
hope it helps, feel free to ignore

[jubjubjedi]

Thanks for the tip Venger! I might try it out, it's PS anyway, cutting and pasting and touching up is not big deal...

[Rockman!]

Hm.. with that change it's kinda lookin liek a mud-sword - not quite as threatening as fire sword. Don't forget that fire-energy sword will be a light source as well. Instead of just toning down the white so it doesn't compete with the dark surroundings, you can use the light that the sword throws off to tone down the dark around the blade. Keep the dark around your focal point (and lightest light) the strongest though! This might not work with your composition, but who knows! : D GL!

[Tritium]

Add some depth in the background? I asume that the soliders to on the right are farther away then the machinery, but they seem to be at the same focus and depth. Maybe ad some haze, as per fog of war, or blur it out a bit more than the machinery?

The background just seems flat otherwise
Excellent work otherwise, very good

[Sidharth Chaturvedi]

Looking great so far! For me, the main confusion is that I have to look really hard to tell what they're holding ,especially sword guy. Try bringing a hand or two up to finish, at least to the same level as the faces, and proceed from there.

[rolandb]

Try making the trail of the fire sword a lot more transparent, so you can see the guy's legs and the ground below him. It wasn't until I started reading the comments that I understood what that trail was. I thought he was half-buried in a sand dune. I'm not being snarky when I say that. That's just what I saw.

[Benjaminba]

Originally Posted by Sidharth Chaturvedi

Looking great so far! For me, the main confusion is that I have to look really hard to tell what they're holding ,especially sword guy. Try bringing a hand or two up to finish, at least to the same level as the faces, and proceed from there.

Yeah, I agree. In fact, when I saw the first version of your illustration, I couldn't make out what the marine with the sword was doing; I thought he was crawling on his belly.

So yes, I would definitely do something about the sword. How about he stops swinging the sword uselessly, and instead make him cut down a robot, or whatever it is they're fighting. It would involve adding a severed robot in the foreground (probably instead of the debris you've already got) and changing the direction in which the marine is looking. I think such a change might add to the drama, and also improve the storytelling, but I dunno. It's up to you!

I particularly liked how you handled the background (and the canon/tank).

Edit: have to agree with rolandb.