I've been into drawing for a long while now but up 'till the end of last year, I spent more time looking at tutorials, other peoples art and thinking of what I wanted to be able to draw in the future and since then, I've tried to do my best with drawing but I only see little improvement and to be honest, I think it's because I don't know what to focus on studying and in what order. Some people say with seeing forms or with shading but how can I get better at that? I'm not a very smart person and understanding books can be very hard for me. Sometimes, even after reading a paragraph/sentence several times, I don't get anything and I feel like I'm just going to be stuck in one place forever until I make a detailed plan of what to do. Also, just in case, I can't even copy/observe things very well. Almost all the time, I end up stuck with symbols of what I see or whatever it is.
Please help? I am kinda down because I know I'm going to have to get a job soon and I don't want to have only an hour of spare time to draw a day. I wanted to make a sketchbook and get help that way but studying with a tablet is impossible and I don't have a scanner of my own to use and I'm aiming pretty high so I really want to get good. It's not just a hobby for me anymore.
Sorry if I sound like a stupid whiny kid. I kinda am though. Haha.
Any help I can get is appreciated!