I need a really harsh critique
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  1. #1
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    I need a really harsh critique

    I know I should give up on it but I can't get this out of my mind. Can somebody really tear this one up?

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    Dud ... it need alot of work specially for the lighting and details ... maybe the wings must looks like the insects ones ... any you must spend more and more time in this you might come up with a good thing ... keep up the good work

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silver Rains View Post
    Dud ... it need alot of work specially for the lighting and details ... maybe the wings must looks like the insects ones ... any you must spend more and more time in this you might come up with a good thing ... keep up the good work
    Can you be more specific?

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  4. #4
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    In my opinion all the muddy colors, contrast and repetition bother me. But the worst part is the lack of visual flow. Your eyes just move straight to the man working on the insect puppet woman... after that there is nothing interesting enough for me to keep my eyes on the picture. And with a subject like this you could do many things, like maybe adding more puppets in key spots, or soft lighting and mechanical items...

    I suggest you read up on your basics; elements and principles of design, and color theory. After understanding them, look at your picture again and you’ll know what to add or remove.

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  5. #5
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    The linework is very ... thick? Overwhelming? Chunky? ... unless you really want it that way.

    The colour palette is okay, but I think you need to make it more dramatic. Super glowing wings, super menacing shadows.. stuff like that. I think it'll suit the subject matter.

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    The linework is very ... thick? Overwhelming? Chunky? ... unless you really want it that way.

    The colour palette is okay, but I think you need to make it more dramatic. Super glowing wings, super menacing shadows.. stuff like that. I think it'll suit the subject matter.

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  7. #7
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    -perspective of those block-things are off and distracting.

    -line quality is poor and uninteresting.

    -coloring is bland, muddy, and simplistic.

    -lighting looks like you dumped a 'lighting affects' filter in photoshop.

    - the coloring in to way aids in rendering the form of the figures, which are simplified into iconis symbols of representation rathe rthan making an effort to draw the idea. in the wings espescially, it's a general idealized form of wings, instead of wings as an object of visual interest

    - did your parents let you swim in a toxic dump as a child? (that harsh enough?)

    i'd like you to provide the original line art.

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  8. #8
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    cool idea. I don't like all the empty space up top, those lines are too thick and I'd make the whole thing maybe darker, way darker. like he's working in his basement. You could fill the empty space with stairs or something and just the sillouhette of a head or something peaking in through the door, secretly.

    Nothing's really been rendered out and everything looks flat. Make those goggles black like they're for wielding, and put some fuckin' sparks flying out of whatever he's working on A little transparency on the wings to make them lighter feeling, The guy's working on an android fairy? He should have alot more wierd specialized tools and stuff on the table beside him. Do you know how long it takes to build a fuckin android!? I've built at least three and it takes days, with schematics, and prototypes and spare parts and shit. there's nothing going on in this picture! It seems more like this guy is shining a flashlight on the Teddy Ruxpin style cassete player of sex noises in his pleasure swing mounted blow up doll inside of his very tall living room full of cardboard boxes. Unless that's what you were going for, in which case forget everything i just said

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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neondevil View Post
    I need a really harsh critique
    Du werdest eine Krankenschwester brauchen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Harsh enough?

    No seriously, this is a cool idea, although she looks very non-puppet like. I'd add more joints in her elbows, shoulders, knee's etc. Definitely make the wings transparent as mentioned above and the sparks idea would be really nice...you could make the piece much more interesting with that kind of lighting going on.

    Hope you see it through!

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmoreland View Post
    Du werdest eine Krankenschwester brauchen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by Grief View Post
    - did your parents let you swim in a toxic dump as a child? (that harsh enough?)
    Hey they never let me go in the deep end.



    Ok great crits here's the work in progress. I figure I can have some hanging air tools coming down in the very front too.

    Edit: I forgot I caught that the guy is in the dead center of the whole thing so I tried bringing him down, does that look off? I also think I'm really shakey with the perspective.

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  11. #11
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    It never hurts to use a photo for reference, especially for the wings, and anatomy.

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  12. #12
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    tomwaits4noman is offline well, that's a pipe of a different color Level 7 Gladiator: Samnite
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    I would say play around with the angles it is not very dramatic what if the camera was on the ground looking up at the puppet and the wings spread out frame her in the page and behind the wings the man is working away. try pushing the shot more do little thumbnails from various angles if t=your shot is dramatic enough you may only need the barest of background.

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