Just need some help improving

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  1. #1
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    Question Just need some help improving

    My professors don't really critique our work so I'm looking to get some harsh feedback here. Don't be shy and don't be nice. I usually half ass homework and do it at the last minute so I know what's wrong with those pieces. This is stuff that I made an effort with and still feel that it's flat. I'm stagnant and I really want to improve so any pointers would be appreciated.

    I may do this over for a poster print. This was done in oil on illustration board.
    [IMG]Just need some help improving[/IMG]

    I probably won't do this one over, but I plan on using the technique, which was covering the image in the colors and use water to take away layers. This was done in gouche on illustration board.

    [IMG]Just need some help improving[/IMG]


    This is the one that I intend to do over soon, so have at it. This is graphite, ink and watercolor on bristol board.

    Just need some help improving

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  3. #2
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    I'll comment about the most obvious one -- the third:

    The hallway is horrible. I mean, HORRIBLE. There is no sense of depth, the ceiling is atrocious in perspective, and the details are awful. The draping is too tight on the body, and the shading -- where is the light source? Why are the wings so dark?

    That said, I like your Hendrix.

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    Is it just the perspective on the ceiling or the shading also? What would give it a better sense of depth. As far as the draping, lighten the lines or just losen the form up. I also thought about the light source, but I was in such a rush that it didn't occur to me until it was also finished. I figure that there will need to be two. A faint one from behind because of the distance to the door and a slightly lighter one from the center, slightly to the right. The wings are intended to be black so I tried to keep detailing down. I might throw in more of a blue-black in to highlight it next time, but thanks

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    Quote Originally Posted by asura_b
    Is it just the perspective on the ceiling or the shading also? What would give it a better sense of depth. As far as the draping, lighten the lines or just losen the form up. I also thought about the light source, but I was in such a rush that it didn't occur to me until it was also finished. I figure that there will need to be two. A faint one from behind because of the distance to the door and a slightly lighter one from the center, slightly to the right. The wings are intended to be black so I tried to keep detailing down. I might throw in more of a blue-black in to highlight it next time, but thanks
    It's both! Does your school have a building that has ornate ceilings? I would highly suggest that you study light and shadows on architectural details on ceilings to help you 'get' what it should be like. The exit is tiny... yet the spacing of your flooring (stones? I think that's what they are supposed to be) does not mesh. You might want to study cobblestone streets or sandstone in perspective.

    I meant that the draping should be more loose around the body... and the draping and folds should be a bit more broad (find a tv show or movie with actors wearing togas to get the right feel... or you can look up masterworks to get a better sense of how it should drape around the body) overall.

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    Quote Originally Posted by novenus
    I'll comment about the most obvious one -- the third:

    The hallway is horrible. I mean, HORRIBLE. There is no sense of depth, the ceiling is atrocious in perspective, and the details are awful. The draping is too tight on the body, and the shading -- where is the light source? Why are the wings so dark?

    That said, I like your Hendrix.
    This is true, I highlighted some things here:

    Just need some help improving

    1) The whole ceiling appears tilted, due to the sides of the corridor being different heights.

    2) This is really evident in the archway

    3) More detail please. I'm not sure if these are supposed to be skulls, or screaming faces.

    4) The bricks on the floor don't shrink enough with distance, or at least, it seems that way to me.

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    Hi there, first post so don't treat this as gospel...

    Another problem with the ceiling is its shading is flat all the way up to the arch - as in, it seems like a flat ceiling with some carved patterns, which suddenly & impossibly turns into an arch.

    Also on the ceiling, and the floor, I'll just say what people have said about scaling again. for the corridor to shrink down from the full figure to a small doorway like that, there'd need to be a lot more iterations of both the ceiling and floor patterns. The ceiling doesn't seem foreshortened enough, and it doesn't scale down very well at all. (basically, it looks like one of those trick perspective corridors which look really long but actually just have a tiny door... which might not be a bad direction to take the piece, with its biblical myth imagery.)

    I'll say as well that the figure's left hand is a bit stiff and doll like. hands are buggers, I hate drawing them, no way to master them other than lots and lots and lots of life drawing, anatomy study and models. If you can, consider getting a friend to pose, take a digital snap, and study how their hand works in that pose. (Also, take lots of snaps from slightly different angles to give yourself options.

    If you know anything about/have access to siilkscreen facilities, iy'd be interesting to see what you could do with the Hendrix poster that way. Silkscreen's a slow way of working in terms of set up, and pretty expensive if the college doesn't have a printing department you can use, but it could take it in an interesting direction.

    Good luck, hope this is helpfull.

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    the guy is out of porportion. the torso is about a quarter of the entire body. it looks like he's 7 feet tall with 5 foot long legs.

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  9. #8
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    The torso does look out of proportion, it's just that I intended for the draping to cut across his chest about mid rib. I might rethink that if it gives off the wrong impression.

    As far as silk screening goes, we don't have that at the school, but I am interested in learning that process. That is a really good idea, it'd probably look great. I'm in the graphic design program at this school, but next year I intend to enroll at Temple in Philly and take up print making and painting which will give me a chance to get started in silk screening.

    I'm going to start working on the Azrael piece really soon and I REALLY appreciate your feedback. I'll post it as soon as it's done, but I'll probabaly end up doing a bunch of different versions in dif mediums, so it may be awhile.

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