Sorry, I haven't been active for a few weeks, and I've been gone completely for the last week or so. Here's why...maybe you'll learn a lesson from it...at this point, it will take me another two weeks or so to get back up to speed...
(I posted this on my other favorite forum two days ago...)
Almost bit the big one...again...
Over labor day (Sept 1-4) I had to attend an event for which I had to do some cooking at home. When this happens, I turn into a raving lunatic and get absolutely no sleep. Things get left behind. Things get forgotten. Like which bag of leftover mashed potatoes and onions was good and which was accidentally left out for 36 hours on the counter top...
A week later, looking for something to eat, found the bag in the frig and fried it for a quick snack. Threw up four hours later, and the "runs" started about an hour after that. (This was Friday night)
Figured I was being taught my usual lesson for stupidity and settled into the bathroom with appropriately placed dust bin in front of me. This went on through Saturday and Sunday. Just when I thought the worst should be over, it went down hill and all hell broke loose. Sunday night through Monday, I passed pretty near a pint of blood, and my throat was so raw and ripped up that I couldn't talk. At this point, I hadn't slept in 4 days. 10 pm, called the horse lady at work and told her to come get me. At this point, I had lost 16 pounds ( a good thing!) in four days, couldn't eat or drink, and was passing out at random moments and crashing into the furniture...
Emergency room (11:30pm)
"What's the problem?
"Fairly sure it's acute infectious diarrhea. Four days, caused by spoiled potatoes."
"Well, why don't we let the Doctor determine that?"
"Why don't we let the doctor stand behind me and I'll give him a demonstration complete with samples?"
Ushered to little room, disrobed and hooked up. Explained everything. Everybody very competent and understanding.
Doctor: "How are you so sure it infectious diarrhea?"
"I'm old. I know every symptom for every disease on earth that I could get. It's what I said, or I was kidnapped by aliens on Friday and the fuckin' anal probe broke off and it's still in there."
"Hah! We've already had two of those this week, but not from your area, so I'm guessing you're right."
Lots of stuff stuck in me, lots of stuff taken out. Now 1 am, and Suzanne (wife) hasn't had any real sleep for two days (a minor miracle for her) so I sent her home.
Little girl in green comes in and says,
"I want you to drink these two pints of glowing gunk that tastes like a combination of plaster and moose piss delightfully flavored with some unknown citrus chemical...and hold it in for one hour."
"Say what?!? I have explosive whatsit and you want me to do what?"
Negotiations ensued. I lost. Drank the crap.
Was supposed to go to CT scan at 3:45. Now 3:46 and I'm alternating between curling into foetal position and jumping up and down in the corner.
3:47--grabbed the medical coat rack with my fluid inputs, started dash for WC 12 feet across hall. Lost shorts forever 2/3 of the way across hall. Made the potty...sort of. Spent 10 minutes cleaning up, opened door and nice girl with wheel chair standing there said,
"Cut it too close, didn't I?"
"I'm not doin' that again, and I hope you're not a prude 'cause I got no pants."
"Hop on. We'll make it work."
Went and had first CT scan I ever had. Interesting. She explained all the little diddles and pictures to me and showed me how it worked and stuff. Fell asleep for first time in four days inside the machine.
Hour later, downstairs, wearing a sheet like a toga...
Doctor: "Ive checked blood and samples. Everything OK. Scans show massive thickening along lower bowel section wall, about a foot long. Could be one of two things, since it doesn't seem to be cancer."
"Have you been swimming nude while eating a sandwich in a stagnent pond in South America lately?"
"Then it's acute infectious diarrhea. It's eating your colon. Caught it just in time. It hasn't moved to lymphatic tissue yet."
Now 5 am. Got pills the size of house to take. Lethal shit. Can't ingest vitamins, calcium, bismuth, aluminum, iron supplements, small children, caffein, alcohol, walk in the sun, solid food, and anything else fit for human consumption.
Feel stronger. Voice sounds like sound effects from George Romero movie. As of today, bleeding has stopped, cramps almost gone, and actually slept 5 hours non-stop. Had some broth last night, stayed down.
Should be better in 6-7 days.
How was your weekend?