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Thread: Looking for help & feedback: industrial-type composition

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    Looking for help & feedback: industrial-type composition

    Hello.

    Well, I gave up on fish eye perspectives for now [cough] and decided to draw something with an interesting composition and colour contrast.

    Basically, I have three ideas for the composition, but I can't seem to get any of them right. I wanted to try and sort of use the machinery as a partial framing maybe, or block out most of the water as the brightness of it distracts from the window.

    This is very much a WIP, and I [once again] made the mistake of starting with the character instead of the composition as a whole. *sigh* But anyway. She will be holding some sort of energy ball later on, after I get the composition right.

    The setting is meant to be semi-sci-fi, semi-industrial, so i tried to put in some [possibly broken] machinery.

    Please help me? x_x

    Wanted to get a nice thumbnail thing going

    Attachment 25337
    Last edited by Kaoru; September 19th, 2006 at 08:02 PM.
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  3. #2
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    Love the machinery... You could add cool reflections on the metal to keep things interresting. Especially when you put in the sphere.

    GL
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    Having machinery in there helps, but honestly nothing about this piece says "industrial" to me. Try making the window transparent/semi transparent and show a real industrial scene outside maybe. Take and make just a few quick sketches, 10 or so minutes each, of the composition including the character, try adding and taking away some things with each sketch. It will come together.

    Edit: Looking at this again i see you did thetransparent window thing, but it's really not that apparent at a glance. Compositionally, the girl seems to be the focus of the picture, so you should try to move her OUT of the center of the picture. The comp is rather boring with her just sitting there in the middle like that. Adding some reds and oranges in also would help to create a bit of diversity colorwise, which should help to perk it up a bit, and the additional light sources would help to create some interesting effects by way of reflected light, as well as helping with the overall contrast you mentioned (the cool blue versus the warm red/orange).

    I think you should try to mix the two pictures you show there. The texture in the first one on the ground looks cool. It would be interesting to see those textures on the wall around the window. And on the girl (this may just be a personal thing) You may want to ease up on the ribs there. MAybe it's just me, but that makes her look a bit anerexic, which is totally unsexy.
    Last edited by Sepulverture; September 8th, 2006 at 11:39 AM.
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    I'm not sure that it was a good idea to give up on the perspective, because it has come back and disconnected her left leg and placed it several feet further than it would otherwise be. The perspective, along with a natural angle of incidence are also going to impact the light shining on the floor. Right now it appears to be a circle somewhat smaller than the window (which won't happen and have these results), but it really appears more to be a shadow cast from a simialr window directly above. Now, if you're going to cover it, it's not an issue, but remember to have the stuff reacting to the window (and don't be afraid to add some warm lighting on our side).

    I assume that you're going to fix her right hand; because if that's her thumb, she has some serious wrist problems. Her foot, too, is tiny and not reacting to her kneeling on the floor (Google "kneel" and you'll see some good images).

    I can't see enough of the mechanical stuff to really help, but I will say that it might give more depth were some of the bits to cover the figure (just in a couple small places to establish the relationship).

    There a certainly a lot of cool things going on here, though. The composition has some strong potential and who doesn't like a hot chick's mid-riff?
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    Marty666 - Thank you! Yeah, I think I might even make the "sphere" a different colour or something. I keep on having this urge to add more red to the image.

    Sepulveture - Yeah, I suppose I should make the scene that's visible through the window more pronounced. But then I don't want it to distract from the overall shape of the window. *dilemma* Thanks for reminding me about her ribs, too; I always fill the figure with loose brushstrokes, and sometimes it turns out to make too sharp of a contrast. Anyway you can relax now, I have fixed the rib problem!!

    dogfood - Hello again! Yeah, I know what you mean about the knee/leg... I've been battling with it for a while now. I suppose I will just have to lower it. Yup, I'm fixing the right hand. I've actually not drawn all of her fingers there; it's meant to be an open palm, the sphere will sort of be resting on it. Thank you so much for your help!

    *goes to Google*
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    lol when i saw the window i thought of star wars... any ways if what i say matters than to me the pose looks a little strange
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    Well, I've fiddled around with the composition and kind of fixed her legs.

    Haven't decided yet on where I'm going to add the red... I plan to work on the scene visible through the window.

    Do you think I should have some parts sticking out over the window? Hmm.
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    Definetly getting there, now she looks to be more present in the eviroment (vs the floating as it was before). I still don't feel like she is "actually" sitting there, but that can be fixed with putting together a good enviroment composition.

    I'll throw a quick enviro up when I get home to show you. .

    I agree with Sepulverture on the colours, definetly needs more colours to help guide the eye around (can be done once a good comp is established).
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    This scene still isn't really telling me "industrial". It is saying something more like "future science/research facility with an outdoors loading dock". You should see if you can't find some good references of industrial parks, and the insides of industrial plants. One thing that really takes away from the industrial feel is the calm blue color you used. Industrial facilities are typically loud, chaotic places with lots of dangerous machinery and exposed moving parts (this is coming from experience in working in a variety of industrial manufacturing and resource extraction facilities.. oil rigs, saw mills, and coal mines). Some of your machinery could have red lights on them. Or there can be things like caged red lights mounted on the walls. Adding some brown texturing to the machinery you have there would help a bit as well (brownish red for used, and rusty metal). Pipes, tubes, liquid spills (oh man i could tell you storie about that). Stuff dripping out of connections in the pipes. Things like this will really help to bring your environment together. I'm looking forward to seeing this one finished, because i myself am a big fan of industrial environs.


    P.S. THIS is a good site for some inspiration.
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    I've spent some more time fiddling around with this [after becoming braindead after 1.5 hours of maths study...]

    Attachment 21180

    Bet you would have never guessed I was going to draw a water level. XD I'm strange like that!

    Going to add some cracks and leakages in the glass later. Not exactly sure if I'm getting the perspective under the water right, but I will be working on that too.

    Sepulverture - Thank you so much for the links! Very inspirational. I don't know if I'm going to draw moving parts, since everything is kind of submerged in water, but I'm going to try to draw some mechanical assembly-line type things. I'm going to add some caged red fires after I more or less figure out the composition. [To be honest, I already quickly tried it out and I like the contrast very much. Must be careful not to over-do it though].

    Attila The Hun - Yeah, I know. XD I realised that after I sketched it. It doesn't really have that retro feel to it anymore though. Ah well. XD

    Rayk - Hey! Yeah, I'm planning to add some warm colours to link her to "our side" of the picture. Possibly when I add another light source it will look more unified... Ahh I'm so glad I joined CA.

    I'm hungry. o_o
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  12. #11
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    Your update works a lot more.
    However, I have a feeling that cyan isn't the right color for this. Perhaps an orange, even sepia tone would really make this one more industrial and insense, no?
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    I can't wait till I see the mechanix!! That said...the right foot needs to point in, it is more an esthetic element since it flows with the leg, with that foot popping out it fights the flow...other than...love the water too!!
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    Ok, I did a quick enviro fix up (more like idea) like I promised.

    First one is your one, based on the placement of objects I tried looking for a vanishing point, to me it seems the perspective is off.

    Second picture is if you put one vanishing point behind her, also move her slightly to the left so that the window can act as a framing device. I still feel that the composition is very cramped, but play around with shapes like I have and you should find one that you like. Hope it helps.
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