Art: REVISED: Bed of Leaves
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  1. #1
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    REVISED: Bed of Leaves

    Originally for DSG, this one came out so well I just kept on working on it, and the guys suggested I post it here. This is my first one for "Finally Finished!", critiques are more than welcome. Royalty-free reference photo used for the girl.

    REVISION: I've taken into account as much as I could of the comments you guys have posted, and have attached the result. Thanks everyone for your crits, this piece would never have evolved this far without your help.

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    Last edited by sandworm; September 21st, 2006 at 11:03 PM.
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    I think it looks awesome, I really like the colors but I think she would be a little more orange because of the trees. And also the arm she's laying looks like paper, atleast thats what I thought at first.

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    Thanks Koh, I agree with you, but since she was supposed to be a robot, I wanted to get that across without doing too much "tech", you know? Thanks for the comment, I'll try to make a new version and upload it soon.

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    The red blobby fuzz at the lower left really bugs me.


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    Thanks Elwell, I'll try to clean that up a bit on the next revision as well. It's supposed to be berries and leaves

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    wow, that a nice piece, the skin looks really soft.
    The hair could do with a bit more though, it seems kinda flat, like a blob of hair.
    But the features are fine and delicate, a nice piece

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    Thanks for the comment, Blanquish! It must be something with the highlights on her hair, the actual reference image had her hair almost pasted to her head. Actually, here in Taiwan, a lot of the girls actually look like that... I could clear up the highlights a bit though.

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    Soften the outer edge of the hair ever so slightly. Trust me, it will make a huge difference.


    Tristan Elwell
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    Thanks Elwell, I will do that and post again shortly. Any suggestion for the "red blobby fuzz?" I'd like to take care of that as well before I post again.

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    Get rid of the transparency and paint at least a few of the berries with the same care you put into the face.


    Tristan Elwell
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    Revision 1

    Thanks for all the comments everyone! Attached is a revision I made taking into account what I've read here, the red blobs, smoothing the edge of the hair, etc.
    I really appreciate all the criticism, it really goes toward making this a better piece.

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    Last edited by sandworm; August 28th, 2006 at 04:03 AM.
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    Nice work.

    That revision is looking better, but it's obvious you used the one brush for the red leaves. Maybe add a few leaves that're curled a bit or angled differently, it doesn't seem random enough to be natural.

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    Sharp eyes, cognition! I didn't realize it was that obvious
    I'll take care of it on my next revision, gotta actually take care of some clients now!

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    i really like the overall mood and colors of that piece! i envy your painting skills...
    but i also think you should work on the anatomy a little more since her upper arm seems to be in an awkward position... maybe take a look at some reference pictures

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    Thanks for your suggestion, Haribo! Your first post? Wow...
    I'll take another look at the reference photo, but I think this is pretty close. Maybe if it tips back at the shoulder a bit more. In any case, I'll check it out.

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    Yeah, her neck seems very awkward. Some cools in the shadows would be nice to contrast the warms in the leaves.

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    The face I'd say is great, you should just soften the edge of the hair like Elwell said, and pretty much everything else he said. I feel attention should be given more carefully and cleverly to the rest of the piece, vary detail in the leaves to add more depth. Cool job on your first pro piece and congrads.

    - Visions

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    I'll make good use of the liquify tool tomorrow and try to fix her neck and shoulder. Cools in the shadows and depth in the leaves. Check! Thanks for the input guys, it's most appreciated! Stay tuned for round 3

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    good work

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    yeah i like the painting on the face but i do think the arm that we see is too distracting because it is antomically incorrect/misplaced. I just lied down in front of a mirror in that pose and instantly saw that my shoulder is more forward than my elbow and however more i placed my arm forward i could still see atleast some definition that there is a shoulder there, i know your picture is kinda cutting it off, but i feel that there is no shoulder there at all. Also give the arm shadow to make it less flat looking where it touches the ground. good work tho

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    Thanks a lot for taking the time, Saz! I'll have another go at it this afternoon. Jeez, this should be easy, considering that all the Taiwanese girls I know aren't much more than stick figures... The proportions should be obvious.

    Rajan, thanks a lot, buddy. I'm really stoked about this work because it's the first time I've taken a digipaint to this level of refinement. Just knowing that I can "do it" is an awesome feeling.

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    One question for you guys, if anyone knows. Since this is my first time posting in the FF! board, is it best to post new works in this same thread, like a sketchbook, or make a new one?

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    Looking good sandworm!! and yeah you are encouraged to post new works in the same thread. It helps to keep all of your work in a big collection instead of having twenty threads saying "sandworm"

    if you don't post a new drawing in like a month or so, than I would make a new thread. But it all depends on you, that is generally how its done here though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sandworm
    One question for you guys, if anyone knows. Since this is my first time posting in the FF! board, is it best to post new works in this same thread, like a sketchbook, or make a new one?
    Your call, but it's probably neater to update this thread with new stuff.


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    Thanks guys.

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    Much better than I remembered in the DSG thread. The colors are vibrant, graceful, and give off an almost green forest preservation vibe when you admire the concept. There are a few errors that I can point out: As Mr. Visions said, congradulations on a successful painting.

    1. She resembles the Japanese actress Zang Ziyi. On her upper lip, there is a thin white stripe that I don't think was intended.
    2. Her right eye seems blackened, like she ran into a branch - which could explain why she's snoozing on the jungle ground.
    3. Where the red leaf gently rests on her cheek, the square line of the metallic part below her chin seems slightly faded. You should sharpen the darkness of the line.
    4. The inside of her ear needs more work. It almost looks like clay.
    5. On the top of her head where her hair is glowing, the red leaves extend out towards the dome of her skull. At the end of the plant, the leaves seem to break up and then reappear near where the gloss begins. If you can spot it, you'll see the gap of detail.

    By the way, what is this painting called?

    That's about it. In my opinion, you should post new artworks in seperate threads. (Judging that theyr'e on the same level as this one) If there are too many images in one thread, you might get feedback on one that you don't really care about and miss out on the one you've been meaning to recieve comments on. It's up to you - either way, the talent is blossoming. Check out your profile page, I think I left a message sometime earlier this week.

    Keep doing you

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    Hey dude -

    It's a nice start. I didn't get that she was a robot at first. The bar code on her neck wasn't enough to register that. I've seen too many tatoos like that, both real and in movies.

    The panel line on her face does say robot, but as was pointed out early you have painted some extremely soft looking skin. With the skin so soft and fleshy inspite of the color, the line becomes just a line, and the effect you were going for is muted.

    Finally anatomically speaking the part that stuck out as bothersome for me was her neck. There is no twist. After reading the crits and looking at it longer, I get that she is a robot, but that wasn't my first impression. At first the neck just bugged me. Add at least a visible twist seam.

    Overall I would suggest you make a clearer distinction. She either is more obviously a robot, or a human. There are a lot of ways you could do this. Open one of the eyes and make it glow electronically. Make the skin less soft or more synthetic shiny. Add a few more panel lines and maybe some gaps. Some of that may sound cliche but think of them as starting points and push your image a little further.

    And I would use the neck and forearm to greater advantage. Make these clearly mechanical.

    If you haven't seen it already, check out the video for "All is Full of Love" by Bjork. It has a look that would work very well with what you have starting to happen here.

    Also while I love you style for painting the background, it throws your scale off. I can't decide if she is fifty feet tall or not. Give your background and little more contrast and depth to ground the scale.

    ~S

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    Great comments, guys! Vulgar and Stormdar, you guys have eyes like hawks! (I suppose it's hard to see your own errors). Thanks for writing up stuff so concisely, that gives me a nice workflow and direction to take when polishing up this picture even more. Most appreciated!

    One thing, Vulgar, the gap of color you speak of is actually a section on the branch where nothing's growing. It's hard to see at this size. Should I post a full-size, or larger than 800 height? I think some people would have a hard time seeing the whole image, but with this one specifically, the original is enormous, so there are a lot of details lost with such a reduction, like the stem of the red leaf on her cheek.

    In any case, the painting's called "Bed of Leaves," unless you guys can help me think of a better title!

    Thanks again for all the support! I'll do another revision pass as soon as I get a break here at the office.

    Vulgar, I replied to your message and I think left you a comment, but I noticed your profile isn't filled out, and that your profile picture doesn't show. I've been having issues with the gallery feature as well, but I didn't get a response from tech support. Anyone have issues like this?

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  29. #29
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    Thanks for your help guys, what do you think of the new version?

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