Halp mah wit teh sketchie!
 
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  1. #1
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    Halp mah wit teh sketchie!

    'ello there. This is my second thread and my first in the critique forum. Be brutal if necessary please.

    I've been working on this for a while (its my favorite character) and I just can't seem to get it to a point where I'm happy with it. Keep in mind, please, that I created this character a couple years -before- Naruto got out on the internet and even more before it came to CN *mutter*

    I felt finished at one point and decided to color it...

    Halp mah wit teh sketchie!

    ...but I'm just not happy enough with the linework anymore to finish it at this point so I'm editing the sketch, and this is what I have so far...

    Halp mah wit teh sketchie!

    Thoughts? Suggestions? I really want to make this one work, and I just can't get it there yet. If anyone wants to throw it into a program and 'red pen' their ideas for me that would be cool. I'll take whatever help I can get.

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  3. #2
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    ....hmm I love the colored one It looks really cool....umm looks like a very well made anime type drawing... looks like he needs maybe a inch or so on his waste...hands and feet are a little too big... umm for the detail in his body you might wanna try a little more detail in the face... because his body speaks SERIOUS and his face (and hair) speaks NARUTO or in other words not serious. They dont seem to contrast full with eachother... I hope my view on this was ok.. lol im kinda new and dont want to make miss judgements and get bashed for it.

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  4. #3
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    That's, amazingly, not half bad . You can't go wrong graphically with black, white, and red, and the composition has a lot of potential.
    He's tilting a little too much to the right. On the one hand it gives the figure some action, but since it's not carried through in his pose otherwise you'd be better off to just straighten him up.
    I'd lower the horizon a little so the tip of the sword doesn't break it.
    I also think the thin gray outline is unecessary.
    You might want to extend the format horizontally so it's not so square.
    I honestly don't see any improvement in the new linework. He looks better striding, without the rear foot.


    Tristan Elwell
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  5. #4
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    POO. lol i tried to help lol I didnt notice some of the stuff you said lol But yeah I aree no right foot. Right foot = no no lol And now that you mention it the sword is a little distracting breaking into the black...

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  6. #5
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    Actually, I kind of like the first one better body wise than the second one.

    But like was mentioned, I'd lose the grey outline.

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  7. #6
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    *does a double take on Elwell's post*

    You should really concentrate on defining your source of light first thing in the colouring stage too.

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  8. #7
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    kk, thanks everyone. Here's my latest pass at the new lineart (i'll keep your coloring suggestions in mind when I get back to that point!!)

    Halp mah wit teh sketchie!

    I changed a few bits here and there to bring it closer to the original piece while maintaining the changes I thought made it look better.

    Keep the comments coming if you have them!

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