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Thread: Scout

  1. #1
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    Scout

    A scout-spy finds enemy base after a long search over the ice-dust planet. Immediately, he calls his mum to tell her he's not coming to aunt Bertha's birthday party.
    My personal project.
    Your feedback is welcome.
    Best regards,
    Khan
    Scout

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  3. #2
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    Good atmosphere and nice composition, but I think the foreground figure reads very poorly. His sillhouette does nothing to help determine what he is. Honestly, if it weren't for your little description, I'm not sure I would have figured out what he was doing, much less the fact that it was a humanoid scout and not some piece of machinery. Now that I have the description, I can see it, but I really had to try hard, and there are still quite a few areas that I'm confused as to what they are (in particular the large structure that parallels the arm that's holding his radio...the one with the three squares with diagonal lines in them), and the sort of ammo belt looking objects.

    As graphical as he is, he really needs a strong silhouette, I think.

    "Every generation sees the past though the lens of its own time." - Thom Hartmann
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    Like the piece alot, I share Fuk's concern about the silhouette reading, though personally I picked up what it was rather quickly. I think that with how dark he is plus having a dark background he gets lost a little bit. Maybe if he had a little bit of rimlight on some key areas. Also the bulky area under his right arm almost reads as another elbow, If that was smaller or reduced in some way the silhouette of his arm might read better. It's definitely cool though. My 2cents

    "There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the real labor of thinking." -Thomas Edison
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    I agree with the above comments. My focus was drawn to the "bundle of tubes" extending out of his back (or are those some kind of casing for a belt-fed weapon?). As a scout-spy, I'm curious if those would be too cumbersome for clandestine activities? Just thinking aloud. I wouldn't want that guy snooping through my neighborhood.

    Overall, I like the composition. I seriously dig the sky and I get a ominous vibe from the way you've conceptualized the "enemy base." I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this.

    ::Cheers!::

    Last edited by AnalogDoll; April 12th, 2006 at 01:26 AM.
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    Hi there,
    Thanks for feedback. I actually did want to make him looking biomechanical but now i realise that it needs more shape explanation.
    Will do. And post it later today.
    Cheers,
    Khan

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    Scout design

    Here's my design explanation of the scout. I made it to actually better understand the shape myself.
    Cheers,
    Khan
    Scout

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    Ah, you're here with me I see.... Love the piece, the critiques others have given are to the point and I can't wait to see what you'll make of it!

    Cool little sketch, too!
    Best,
    W.

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  9. #8
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    Hi,
    2 hrs have past and i have corrections.
    Comments most welcome.
    Greets,
    Khan
    Scout

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  10. #9
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    "hey mum
    you know I´m on this secret mission and
    ..uhm yeah mum I know
    ...yes mum
    what ever I can´t make it to the birthday!"


    great piece btw nice atmosphere

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  11. #10
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    awesome, mate...

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  12. #11
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    I'm with Mike. The tilt is a detractor for me. Angles are usually dynamic additions and when you make everything an angle, you're emphasizing some extreme action which is already being featured in the scene. Here, this is a pre-action shot, the recce, and is generally the calm before the storm. The tilt here is like remoulade sauce on cheesecake; they're both very nice, but not together.

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  13. #12
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    Yup... I'm with Mike and Dogfood on this as well... the tilt doesn't do it... I like the update however! The scout reads better now!

    peace

    d-C

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  14. #13
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    Definately a much better read on the figure without that object there.

    "Every generation sees the past though the lens of its own time." - Thom Hartmann
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  15. #14
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    Hi there,

    As always, i've taken your feedback very seriously and have improven my work upon that. I still kept a bit of that tilt. I like it, somehow it gives me the look of comic-book pannels which i love so much.

    So, here it is:

    Scout

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  16. #15
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    awesome!

    love love love it...

    personal project? you working on something?

    as for the tilt/canted angle... i think it could work if it was a part of a series of images, ie a comic book, where you have this image just before something stressful for your spy occur...

    basically, in film, the canted angles were used primarily to hint rather subtly that something was awry.
    since a single image doesnt have the benefit of the moving actors, the angle draws a lot more attention to itself.

    so... like I said.. if it was a part of a series, which Im assuming it is, props.

    =)

    my .2$

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  17. #16
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    Yeah, yeah, yeah - I'm glad I checked back late in the day - lots of progress to see take shape...

    I think you've made some solid changes and they've really helped to tighten the image. I'm 50/50 on the rain effect. The drops don't seem to be falling beyond the figure (to the left). Maybe one or two more light strokes?

    All in all, I'm struck by the work you've done. I do hope we're going to see a series appear here - something inside the enemy base or a few guards being "neutralized" along the perimeter.

    -AD

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  18. #17
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    Thanks guys, it really gives some serious motivation.
    I will soon bring the next panel in here. And this one is going to "It's finally finished" dept.

    Cheers,

    Khan

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  19. #18
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    I like the corrections you have made.. realy nice pic you hav here.. I agree with mikecorriero about adding something to the ground plain.. but averall very nice man 8)

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  20. #19
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    I like it, reducing the angle helped alot I wish I had thought to suggest that hah, also the light touch of color is nice, its just enough to make it not monochrome but not too much. Cool.

    "There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the real labor of thinking." -Thomas Edison
    Home Page: http://artofphilwohr.blogspot.com/
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  21. #20
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    my eyes find this (last post) image very easy to understand (probably becuase it appears so simple at first glance). i am excited with the level of clearity you have given the image as an entity and not with seperate minor details. from the begining to your last post there is just so much pregression! im very impressed and id love to see more. SOON

    - Kinjark
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  22. #21
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    dang, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. YOU GOT SKILL.

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  23. #22
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    Wow. That came out great, the changes you have made really brought it to life. Way to go!

    FP

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  24. #23
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    Many thanks,
    I wouldn't make it on my own.
    Viva CA!
    Khan

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