Do Not Click
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  1. #1
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    Do Not Click

    Hah, You CLICK! U r dead,,,, now you must check out my lil animation Video and point all the shit you can point that you think will make it better. hehe


    a little background and intro----

    This was a final project for my storyboard class 2 yrs ago.
    The project was suppose to be a simple black and white storyboard turn into video clip; I went full speed out on it=
    full illustration,
    made an original theme song,
    "motionize" it,
    voice over,
    and more.
    Made it look like, ummmm, animation/illustration video instead.

    Really love this video clip, it was one of my greatest accomplishment (took 1 1/2 months, about 40hrs a week, to finish this project.

    I’m about to graduate and will put this on my demoreel/portfolio. I know there’s a lot thing I can do to make this video better. I thought to post this up so I can have some different perspective view and feedback……. to enhance this.


    A list of what will be add/change
    1. Beginning – have butterfly flying down, then land on the graveyard
    2. The childhood fight (0:44 – 1:32) – will have more panel, showing different perspective instead of repeating the same panel over and over.
    3. End – the ghost-guy fades out same time as the butterfly for easier connection between him and butterfly (he is the butterfly)
    4. Add more contrast where it’s need
    5?
    6?
    20?
    2000000?



    A N I M A T I O N C L I P only 11MB


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  2. #2
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    Ok, um..um...OK,....... you can color really nice, mmm...whats the point of this short again?...sorry I cant help

    J.L. ALFARO


    "Be who you are and say what you feel,because those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."
    -Dr. Seuss


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  3. #3
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    I'm also finding it hard to find comments... I found the moving frames kinda odd, the fight between the two children is just a blur of motion. also when they're sitting in the moon light holding one another they both say I hate you? I'm guessing this was suppsed to be something cute between them from their childhood spiteyness but it sounded really un-felt, and kinda ruined the continuity... it was kinda weird.

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    I don't know wether you had a certain time requirement on your assignment, but it feels like you could've shorten it down and still kept the essence of the story.
    Also I think towards the end you could've shorten down the dialogs, the echoing effect could've been saved for a last emotional punchline instead of having it over-used, and also as Rubix said about the line "I hate you", could've been cut all together from the final reel, or definetely revised.

    I think what would've been nice, because you seem to be good at coloring and well the graphics all together I thought was nice, you could use more enviromental mood settings. Play around with the lights and the general atmosphere to portay a mood instead of dialogs. For example when she sits in front of the grave have some rain falling gently down over her face, then as she relives the memories and see the butterfly in the end the clouds will break and a ray of light will shine down on her and the grave and give you that feel good mood.

    Maybe my example was a cliche but still you get the point, less dialog and more visual representation of the general mood.

    nice work altogether tho, thumbs up

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  5. #5
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    actually, the I hate you part was my favorite part. the storyline is cute, but i think the execution of it could've been a little less... chessy. i dunno. i know naught about animation, but as far as that side of it goes, it looked pretty good to me. keep it up.

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    JLAlfaro – the purpose for this is for my demo reel for my graduation; I thought this is something nice to add on to it,,, this piece is actually rather hard to crit since it’s not just an everyday still image people post here to crit but a motion images with sounds = different. It's rather tricky/hard to crit something you are not use to see.

    Rhubix – The moving frame looks odd because it’s compress with WMV. The uncompress doesn’t looker jumpy like that.
    On the fight scene, I will add couple more panels instead 1 panel continue for 15 second to not bore the viewer. =). ‘I hate u”, u r right, it’s just their way of saying I love u,,,, just thought to give them a unique way to express, though a lot people got threw off by that. Thank you so much for your time and thoughts.

    Rizla- Yup, back then, I have thought about doing mood/lighting effects on the opening/ending scenes , but I was worried that I wasn’t capable of doing so with motion, plus my art skill were/are limited. But, “with some rain gently falling gently on her face” I could picture that right away, and thought yeah, this will definitely give it a soft gentle mood and not so hard to do. That will definitely give it an extra notch. More visual mood overall. Your time and courtesy= thank you very much.

    Dose206- yo, at least one person opinions digs this, yay!!! hehehe. Not a lot of people dig that line and thought of it as awkward. Cheesy, hehehe. Thanks for the input mate.

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