Severus white pheonix
 
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  1. #1
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    Severus white pheonix

    an attempt at another, more original (for me) style...
    i want to appoligise for reacting badly at crits, its just i dont feel like i can do anything right. some of you had a good reason to crit, but others just said that i had no skill, and that really wasnt called for...

    anyway, im whiping the slate clean. just please dont write 100 lines of how awfully ive drawn this thanx

    Severus white pheonix

    Last edited by Snogger; March 4th, 2006 at 09:17 PM. Reason: wrong title ^^;
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  3. #2
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    Very stylised, but again, a major improvement on your first post here. The way you painted the lit feathers is very interesting, although I think that it would be casting a far stronger light onto Snapes face and jacket. The highlights on his cloak at the moment look as if they're coming from a lightsource 10 or so metres away. Besides that, his elbow seems somehow misplaces, although that may be due to the stylisation.

    But on the whole, this is good. Your work on the mountains in the background is especially impressive.

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  4. #3
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    I think you've got enough light on the face, you just need more light on the jacket :/

    I like the style. It's fun. I know many people who I don't doubt would toss this up as their desktop image if it was of an appropriate size

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  5. #4
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    Glad to see you came back! It's a very nice piece, my only suggestion would be that the blueish highlights on his face and hand should be blended more with his skin. It looks almost like he's dabbling in facepaint.

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  6. #5
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    I'd probably crop the piece up some more to push the focal point up towards his face and the phoenix, but that's personal preference. I'd also take the river out because the way it's currently painted, it flattens out all the nice mountains and forrests. I'd also like to see the blue light reflection pumped up a notch on his hand and upper arm, cause it would probably be bathed in it so close to such a bright light source.

    That said, anyone who calls this "anime/manga" style is probably not familiar with it at all. This makes me think very Burton-esque with Snape being so extremely thin and elongated. He looks so unhealthy! XD 'Course, that would be perfect for Snape. I like the phoenix and the fire you blended around it. I also like your rendering of his hair (again) and the overall color choice (especially on the background with those lush hills and purple mountains).

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  7. #6
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    Just a quick bit of advice about posting: If you have a thread already on the first page, you should just add your new image to it instead of making a new thread. You can even change the title of the thread to reflect this change.

    I think you need to work on your lighting. You specifically seem to be differentiating between lighting and shading on this piece when they should be one and the same. Case in point: the cyan marks on the face and hands. Its good that you are trying to use colored light, but whats wrong here is that the cyan is at a lower value than the value directly surrounding it. If there is a light bright enough to bring his skin color to a bright white like that, then that light supercedes any light less bright than it.

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  8. #7
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    Gah, thanks for putting that into words, it was irking me but I didn't know why. Yes, lights don't just lay down on top of each other, they always add. The blue highlight is darker than the rest of the lighting on his face, so it just looks like paint. The only way for there to be that darker patch of blue right there would be if that exact section of his cheek was in shadow, which it isn't.

    Also, I think he'd really benefit from his nose actually receding into his face... noses don't just leap from nowhere, and even with the stylisation you've used here it looks strange. Some sort of shading cast by his nostrils down over his lower lip would help.

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  9. #8
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    Hey Snogger!

    I was excited to see you placing a work in the Critique Center...

    but I can't see it!

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