Join 500,000+ Artists
Its' free and it takes less than 10 seconds!
some illustrations to decorate my upcoming personal website.
i will be using them like so,
tell me what ya think.
Last edited by freakedintheface; January 23rd, 2006 at 09:49 AM. Reason: update
I like them mostly, they're all cute as buttons and I think the details on their clothes and the thick/thin lines the way you've done them are awesome
The first one's face is very bland, especially compared to the others, The lines seem a little unconfident and awkward whereas everywhere else they're very smooth and damn-near perfect.
All characters are slightly inconsistant, how come the first girl has no highlights in her hair but the schoolgirl does? Also the angles and bendyness are different on each, which is probably a bad idea if they're all decorating the same site, IMHO it'd be better if they matched up like they're a set.
Also the witch/devil girl's pitchfork/trident/whatever those things are called appears to be going backwards (despite this way being stabbier) cause of the immediate association with a broomstick. I know there's no law saying "broomsticks MUST go handle-first" but it's what everyone's used to and it makes much more sense 'aerodynamically', heh
i'm going to start by apologizing...
NO HATE MAIL PLEASE!
the pieces look good,
(i particularly like #3)
but the typos of your front page are driving me nuts!
I know you are going to say "this is a rough draft".
but just in case...
this is advertising, professionalism is key.
if this is going to be your client's first impression of you,
make sure it is perfect.
if that means having mom proof-read it, do so.
there are a lot of mistakes,
but the most important are:
...Jurassic Park WAS when...
...and I knew that WAS what I wanted to do.
(or: that IS what I want to do.)
the first sentence of paragraph 2 is incomplete.
technically, you need a comma after "design".
though, it's a messy sentence.
i would reword it.
(in the fall of 2003 I graduated from the art institute of dallas, where i recieved an associates degree of applied arts in computer animation art and design. Since, I have been doing contract work...)
now everyone hates me, right?
- Dan Dos Santos
you don't even know how much I love you right now.
I have to pay you some drinks if we ever run into each other.
Everyone should listen to Dan.
Oh and you used i instead of I to refer to yourself in one sentence.
There are people who will say don't worry that your art gets the jobs (which is true) but what if there's someone as good as you who also can communicate?
Fififi-- thanks for the comments, that first one i used a photo reference of a cutie girl i met off the internet. she had close up of herself shooting the gun, she loves guns.so i that is why its leaned a little bit more to the less cartoony side. the other 2 are original design.
DSillustration-- dude, that is my worst subject. grammar, never really liked nor was i good at it. i kick but at math. thanks for the quick proofread, i will go back at that and clean it up and revise. you wont be getting any hate mail from me or anyone else. by the way my mom is dead. (heavy)
Marko Djurdjevic--i want booze also.
Craig D-- good eye, i am starting to see alot more mistakes in there than what i saw before.
thanks guys for this great help,
DS---joking about the mom thing. i am a little twisted like that. sorry
DS, i hate you.
"Jose Ramirez - 3D modeler/illustrator"
These are two areas I know very little about .. but where is the difference between graphic art & illustration ?
And what is what you are showing us ?
Design or art ?
3D ? Where ????
You need IMO show of your skills to the viewer as quick as possible.
Yes .. the font is a bit not the best ... for this still to me seems a little bit too simple/plain for a illustrator/3D artist ...
But then my site sucks ... but if this is suppossed to be perfect then the above are my starting crits.
Sorry but the site design reminds me more of comic ... .
For me illustration/3D sites are slick sexy & not Jurassic park as DS suggested .
Everybody already hates me .. sorry you dont all have to hate me more .. but freedom of choice.
my only major crit thats really driving my nuts is your super thick outlines... wow.. they are really super thick... those muct be like thick... on the thick scale.. no but serious... Dan had a great point about presentation... always kep that in mind... continue working on these.. you have a cool style... good luck
Mainloop- man i must be dyslexic.. cuz i thought you asked how many people are on lsd
thanks guys, here is another one. probably the last one unless something comes up and i need another one.
jurassic park was the turning point in my decision on what i wanted to do for a living.
thats why he is talking about it.
Just to touch on something as bit different. The text for your bio seems a bit too bold. That, and I think something sans serif might go a little better with the design of your page. Good luck with your page and business
* Help a CA artist! Visit the Constructive Critique section! *
i had san-serif originally but people on another forum said it would be easier to read with the serif. cause it was to much to read.
but i guess if you read these default post fonts for this forum(conceptart.org) they are sanserif.
i will have to go back and see what i can do.
Yeah... I second the proofreading part. You don't want to put off potential clients just because your grammar is poor - have someone proof or even rewrite that.
The girls? They're cute... maybe not the most original style I've seen, but still cute. The first girl is the weakest though - the face doesn't match your style and looks very unsure (even if it's supposed to be from a photo, you've got to keep things consistent - and what kind of tribute is it if the most important part is rendered with the least confidence?) and the feet are on entirely different planes. The top of her pants don't follow the curve of her waist at all either - on the right side, it's so low that it's *in* the crease where her hip bends.
yeah her pants are falling off.
HAHAAAAAAAAA! fall off!!
i will see what i can do with that character.
the pitchfork doesn't look like it's made out of metal. The mermaid's fish tail would benefit from some reference (shouldn't go to a thin line in an area where there are bones).
all said, these are nice images with strong pop colors.
I don't know if you've already gone through the text for the errors that Dan pointed out, but you also have several uncapitalized "I's" that need to be corrected.
Now this is an area where I feel my expertise is actually worth something. (I was a copy editor for two years.)
I went through and fixed all your mistakes, and I reworded a few things that sounded awkward to me (without changing your original words too much, I hope). Use this if you like, or I'd also be happy to proofread a new version or anything else you want to run by me.
I am José Ramirez. Odessa, Texas — the heart of West Texas — is where I dwell. Drawing has always been my passion. From the time I could hold a pencil, I have been drawing. CGI first caught my attention in sixth grade, when I saw Jurassic Park. It totally captivated me, and I knew that was what I wanted to do.
In the fall of 2003 I graduated from the Art Institute of Dallas, receiving an Associate's Degree of Applied Arts in Computer Animation Art and Design. Since then, I have done contract work for Marrsmedia of Dallas. When I came back home, I started doing work for Panacore, where I moved up to an art director position. Both places gave me work in character and environment modeling, illustration, Web design concepts, and graphic design. I value all the experience I've gained.
I am currently searching for a full-time position as a 3D modeler or illustrator.
holy crap, that is great.
i will most likely use that. and probably add some more to it.
i will definently pass on the my final wording.
i am working on all the other pages and will leave that paragraph in the end since its the less tidious part of the website.
just wanted to have some content to see what the page would look like.
thanks for everything guys.
love the work, very stylelized and simple
keep em coimming
i dont know, im pretty sure i could kick these girls's asses
maybe, evidence, maybe.
thanks baki, will do.
well guys it took forever to get all the content together and then actually putting it online but like the thread says its finally finished.
thanks for all the help and input to help me put this together.
but i good with it. and hopefully it will help me get the job that want and dreamed of.
tell me what ya think.
You not dead yet Jose?
If you cant win, lose.
well well well.
i guess this internet isnt as big as they say it is.
juan i love you.