i would KILL to be an artist!!!!1111 (heated fucking rant)

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  1. #1
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    i would KILL to be an artist!!!!1111 (heated fucking rant)

    [heated rant]

    You ever get this? I know our profession is cool, its cool beyond words, I'm beyond ecstatic on a daily basis that I get to do this for a living...but when people say "I would KILL to be doing what you are doing!" I get a little peeved.

    Firstly, no, you would not fucking kill to do what I do, because you wouldn't even give up drinking on the weekends and wasting away your nights watching TV. You are not up until 3am in the morning studying the complexity that is the human form in all its varied and complex systems. You are not running through endless reels of paper trying to understand a design concept that simply will no click, you are not sacrificing your personal time to constantly move your art to a higher level, you are not building your motor skills to a fine point by thousands of repetition.

    Thats the trouble with a lot of people I feel, they would KILL to have something that takes a lot of work to get to, if they could have that thing magically in the form of a "red pill". Its the reason why people buy lottery tickets, its the reason why people put up with shit jobs they hate and end up dying a wasted life bitching about it until the bitter end.

    If people understood the level of sacrifice most artists has to endure, they would NOT be envious, but we occupy a higher ground and plane of awareness that I feel many other people are not forced to develop.

    The other day I got rid of one of my jr artists, because they simply were not pulling their weight - this girl was hired before I was instated as an art director and I was lumped with this pathetic excuse for an artist.

    We are a small start up company and as such its understandable that everyone needs to pull their weight, this simply was not happening with this girl, she is everything I dispise and it took 6 months to finally convince the company director to jetison her lazy untalented ass out of our domain.

    She was hired on the basis that the director talked to her about game development before me, and thus had a moral obligation to hire her - he's a religious dude with strong "morality" for better or worse.

    Hers was was prototypical manga bullshit with no understanding of the human anatomy, incorrect placement of muscles and everything else under the sun. Had zero aesthetic skill understanding - although she TOOK aesthetics as a subject in industrial design, had no understanding of proportion, perspective, color theory ANYTHING. She slumbered on the job - literally slept under the fucking table at work George Kostanza style, and still had the guile to play it off like it was nothing. Never took any of my advice and continued on her merry way.

    It was under my charge to improve her to a respectable level...I couldn't fucking believe it. This bitch had been given a get out of jail card, and she still had no idea how easy she had it, her skills will never get her into any illustration job again, she will not be having anything shy of a 100% negative reference from me, to top it all off she had a poor self esteem, she had bulemia and she got into arguments with other staff members who were doing their job AND took this job for granted.

    I'm sorry, but none of your fuckups are my fucking problem, when we got rid of her she was crying, you know what? Cruel as it sounds, it gave me a lot of satisfaction and I found it hilarious, maybe she'd realise how much of a fucking loser she is and pull her finger out of her ass and do something with her goddamn life instead of moping about pissing people off with her compacency and laziness.

    What really got me while she remained employed, what REALLY fucking got my blood boiling, what really pulled my fucking noodle was this: there are people on this site who give 400% of their effort and draw constantly to improve their skills, yet illustration and concept design is a field of enormously high barriers to entry and thus high unemployment rate - most artists have to do something else to sustain themselves.

    Yet this lazy ass smart alec took her position for granted, a position that people would seriously wish for, like many of you guys here who put in so much effort and inspire me on a daily basis.

    I don't really know what I'm ranting about anymore, but I do want to give a kudos to all of you out in cyberland and the amount of hard work your guys do.

    For those of you who are not yet in the field, I implore you to never take things easy, never for once be satisfied with your skills, never once think of this as your birthright but a priveledge that so few will ever experience, an opening to a world of imagination to the lay person, it is a priviledge and your devine obligation to work hard to help people escape their mundane worlds, understand that you carry upon your shoulders the manner in which we will enter the future and you will inevitably drive yourself forwards in a more dedicated fashion.

    The sacrifices that only we as artists understand are what sets us apart from other people, when you question yourself - and you will - "is this all worth it!?" only you can answer that question, if the answer isn't a resounding yes, then you should question whether you are pursuing the right field, because when the shit hits the fan and teh going gets tough, if you're not in this for the long haul and prepared to travel through hell before reaching nirvana, then when you hit a rough patch you will break and you will look for a way out.

    m

    [/end pointless heated rant]

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  3. #2
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    AYe aye..

    Must say i agree with ye, people just love to have things the easy way and the preach about how much are they willing to give up for it, and they will never be strong enought to give up anything.....People need to realize that you can´t have anything witout making sacrifices, but people just want everything XD, is dumb because nobody as the time to have everything.


    Personally i wake up 8 AM in the morning, i get my place toghether, feed the cat, the dog, take some break fast and i have everything set and ready to work by 9 , and i keep that up untill 3 or 4 am.

    Rest for me in either take a look in here for inspiration or just to see what is in today´s artistic minds, research about any subject to improve my design qualitys, do practice sketches or to spend some time with my family. I only see "Point pleasent" here on thusdays becuase i think the protagonist is just to damn beautyfull, and i love the psicological dramma, but besides from that, tv is off.

    I dont hang out with anybody, i dont drink, smoke, or have any vice whatsoever. I used to play video games, and now i just deleted any evidence of having them.

    I know what i have, i know what i had, and i know what i can have, and i did make some sacrifices to push my work to the next levels.....And im willing to make some more, just becuase it was my choice.

    My social life is 80% composed of taking care of my cat, i dont have time for people and i my idea of friend is someone that draws besides me, helps me and alows me to help him, thing that i dont have and im not especting to have.

    And though i dont have any social life, friends, games or vices, i never been so damn happy in my entire life.......art is EVERYTHING to me, and i dont seem to need anything else.

    Xd, now i got kinda late on the shedulle for this, but ill keept it up from now.



    Ah, and as for the gal you fired, i cant help to feel sorry for her, i hope she grows up after this and make the right choice about waht to do with her life from that point on

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  4. #3
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    ...I seriously wished half you you people lived in my damn country.

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    Not having any friends seems a little unhealthy to me and I think I will always take time to maintain those bonds. That and my fondness for inebriation may hold me back just a bit. *cough*

    But honestly I don't see why you actually get ANGRY about it when people say "they'd kill to be an artist". They're just trying to say that they admire you for developing your talent and pursuing what you love, which is something most other people don't do and wish that they had later on. I don't know what it is about some of you guys here, but you manage to twist compliments into personal insults and actually get pissed about them. Now i WILL admit that it pisses me off when people say that, and when I explain to them it's more hard work than anything else, and then they start insisting that it's not and that I was born with the ability to draw. When they start arguing back, THEN i get a little annoyed. But good lord people relax, have a beer or something.

    I totally understand your sentiments towards that girl though, and THAT shit pisses me off. She got the whole "genie in the magic lamp" wish and just completely blew it.

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    I would kill to be Hugh Hefner....even if he is a an old guy.

    You should probably stop hiring people based on Bachelors Degree and hire based on ability.

    I have teachers wondering why I'm not in the business right now.....arrogance or honesty? I can only go by what people tell me.

    [Note] I'm taking a Bridgeman Art Anatomy class, and I've already taken 2 semesters of Human Anatomy in Biology.[/Note]

    Last edited by NoSeRider; October 23rd, 2005 at 10:43 AM.
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    he didn't hire her, she was already there.

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    Cant be bothereed to read ur post .. but ur propably right

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    Magic Man,

    Your rant reminded me of a guy I knew back in middle school through high school. He was just about the opposite of the girl you had to fire. This guy back in 7th grade was already an accomplished artist. He created beautiful drawings for his friends in bands when they needed posters & announcements. I was also reminded of this guy when I saw the movie "Crumb." Like Robert Crumb, this guy came from a family of artists where it almost seemed like a genetic trait.

    As good as this guy was, he couldn't care less about his ability and after high school, while his friends & classmates went off to college, he went to work for a bike shop as a bike mechanic and never aspired to anything more. I have often felt that because his ability came to him so easily he put no value in it and lost interest. So if someone could indeed take a little "red pill" to give them all the ability they wanted, it would probably have the same effect.

    Mark Hannon
    Art Direction & Design
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    I'm just antagonizing him. It's funny.

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    Icon Ordele

    MAGICMAN,

    Honestly I was a little turned off by your rant; then I went and took a look at your sketchbook to see if you were entitled to speak from a position of authority.

    Suffice it to say, your work speaks much more highly of you than your rant

    I'm sorry you had to go through all that emotional turmoil with this misplaced soul. Their kind make their appearance everywhere, not just in the world of art.

    Quit kicking yourself about her though (or even her about herself). She isn't worth the trouble, at least not the way she is now. Hell, maybe in a few years your paths will cross again, and she'll be a better person or perhaps a better artist as a result of the business experience you were compelled to render unto her.

    If not, forget her. Spare her neither sweat nor adrenaline.

    And keep up the excellent work.

    Death Dances Only With The Living
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSeRider
    You should probably stop hiring people based on Bachelors Degree and hire based on ability.

    I have teachers wondering why I'm not in the business right now.....arrogance or honesty? I can only go by what people tell me.
    Firstly, you should learn how to read - she was there before me.

    Secondly, I've seen your work...if your teachers are wondering why you aren't hired as an artist, they shouldn't be teachers in the first place, its pretty obvious...

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    Quote Originally Posted by figure2
    Magic Man,

    Your rant reminded me of a guy I knew back in middle school through high school. He was just about the opposite of the girl you had to fire. This guy back in 7th grade was already an accomplished artist. He created beautiful drawings for his friends in bands when they needed posters & announcements. I was also reminded of this guy when I saw the movie "Crumb." Like Robert Crumb, this guy came from a family of artists where it almost seemed like a genetic trait.

    As good as this guy was, he couldn't care less about his ability and after high school, while his friends & classmates went off to college, he went to work for a bike shop as a bike mechanic and never aspired to anything more. I have often felt that because his ability came to him so easily he put no value in it and lost interest. So if someone could indeed take a little "red pill" to give them all the ability they wanted, it would probably have the same effect.
    Sadly, there's no course on ambition.

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  14. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitch
    MAGICMAN,

    Honestly I was a little turned off by your rant; then I went and took a look at your sketchbook to see if you were entitled to speak from a position of authority.

    Suffice it to say, your work speaks much more highly of you than your rant

    I'm sorry you had to go through all that emotional turmoil with this misplaced soul. Their kind make their appearance everywhere, not just in the world of art.

    Quit kicking yourself about her though (or even her about herself). She isn't worth the trouble, at least not the way she is now. Hell, maybe in a few years your paths will cross again, and she'll be a better person or perhaps a better artist as a result of the business experience you were compelled to render unto her.

    If not, forget her. Spare her neither sweat nor adrenaline.

    And keep up the excellent work.
    I'm done thinking about her, just thought it would make a nice rant story. In all honesty, I am a pretty chilled out person in real life, I just hate seeing squandered opportunity since I am someone who always treats every opportunity with the utmost attention and care.

    Thanks for the kind words too, its a shame I can't post my real work, my sketchbook is just full of sketches...confidentiality agreements are like itches that you can't scratch.

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    I know you guys wanna see more rendering from me....I'm doing that.

    Obvious, nope. Get a lot of conflicting messages what is art.

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    Noserider, please dont misundestand Magicman, the first point is because i probably spended a lot of his time in writing his post, and you should read it carefully so you can honor the point of this thread..

    the second point is because teaches shoudnt tell you that you are good enought, they should encorage you to keet getting better, telling you that you already should have a job is telling you that you shoudnt have to learn anything else anymore, thats far from the function they serve.......

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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSeRider
    I know you guys wanna see more rendering from me....I'm doing that.

    Obvious, nope. Get a lot of conflicting messages what is art.
    You need to quit asking people what the fuck art is and start finding out for yourself.

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    aaahh, shit man, I know what you're talking about.
    the fucking worst thing is that all these "I would Kill if I could be that good"-people,are people who honestly seem to think all the guys who kick damn ass with their artwork took that "red Pill", maybe they even think that talent is the major factor that makes your art great.
    Well I know that I am not good,since I am quite new too this whole drawing thing but nevertheless all those guys in my class ask me after each drawing lesson : " woah shit man, how do you do this. Why are you that good???" They ask this without even thinking for a fucking seccond that I am working hard,staying up till late at night and getting only 4hours of sleep each and every night.
    I have a friend who started to play the guitar for about 2 months now, and as I stood next to him and his "teacher", listening to a conversation they had, I wanted to shoot myself as that teacher said to him that he has to pratice for about 15 minutes a day to become good, AS HARD AS IT SEEMS TO BE. The best thing, however, was that this friend of mine was seriously disappointed about the fact that he has to find this fucking 15 minutes of time each day. Half an hour later he started to bitch around that he doesnt improve. I simply couldn't believe it.
    And I? I am sitting each fucking day till late at night at my drawing desk, practicing and learning. I am not complaining, dude, I love what I do, that's WHY I do it. I love it and I don't need anything more but drawing and painting. It's the learning, the concentration, learning to be able to create wonderfu stuff, and I want to get better and better, yeah maybe it sonds stupid but I wanna make my dreams come true.
    I always console myself with saying to myself that these people wont ever know what dreams are and they won't know what making dreams come true with damn hard work is either
    honestly,I know what you feel

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  20. #19
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    Magic Man: "I would kill to be an artist"

    You know there is such great irony in that statement and it is so increadibly telling of a deep dissatisfaction in the speakers heart I think you might find more sympathy.

    What you say IS true but that doesn't touch the depth of the statement.

    A person that observe you doing what you do is not just seeing some lucky schmo born with a great life if they have any mind at all but they see someone who has the character and strength of will, the passion and desire to be where you are at. In this way it is a complement.

    Because

    What they are really saying

    is

    "I would kill to be a better person".

    And there in lies the irony. So many people have been trained to not follow their passions, to not express themselves and by the time they are all grown up if they did it would open up the flood gates and sweep them away straight to the looney bin.

    Most artists do love themselves better than many. Even if they hate themselves they at least love themselves enough to admit it. Which is better than most. And so you are envied.

    Peace, Love and Harmony... I could never get them all into bed at the same time!
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    Quote Originally Posted by L. Scott Knight
    Magic Man: "I would kill to be an artist"

    You know there is such great irony in that statement and it is so increadibly telling of a deep dissatisfaction in the speakers heart I think you might find more sympathy.

    What you say IS true but that doesn't touch the depth of the statement.

    A person that observe you doing what you do is not just seeing some lucky schmo born with a great life if they have any mind at all but they see someone who has the character and strength of will, the passion and desire to be where you are at. In this way it is a complement.

    Because

    What they are really saying

    is

    "I would kill to be a better person".

    And there in lies the irony. So many people have been trained to not follow their passions, to not express themselves and by the time they are all grown up if they did it would open up the flood gates and sweep them away straight to the looney bin.

    Most artists do love themselves better than many. Even if they hate themselves they at least love themselves enough to admit it. Which is better than most. And so you are envied.
    To be honest, I totally agree with you, and I think I loath this sentiment and lack of action on their part because it reminds me of where I was not so long ago.

    Culture places more emphasis and importance on certain things than others, and even with our open minded society today, these antiquated beliefs and values persist.

    Since I woke up and saw the world for what it is, I've found my sympathy for those who are able to change their situation but do nothing has waned and in its place replaced by disgust at inaction.

    Maybe its a misplaced disgust at the reflection of myself at a younger time in them, a time when i felt so out of control of my own life that taking it seemed like a real posibility...but when it came down to it, following my own path was just like a mist, seemingly imprenatratable, but when you get up and walk into it, you just come out the otherside like it was nothing.

    I'm just happy I did it while I was still relatively young.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloominati
    aaahh, shit man, I know what you're talking about.
    the fucking worst thing is that all these "I would Kill if I could be that good"-people,are people who honestly seem to think all the guys who kick damn ass with their artwork took that "red Pill", maybe they even think that talent is the major factor that makes your art great.
    Well I know that I am not good,since I am quite new too this whole drawing thing but nevertheless all those guys in my class ask me after each drawing lesson : " woah shit man, how do you do this. Why are you that good???" They ask this without even thinking for a fucking seccond that I am working hard,staying up till late at night and getting only 4hours of sleep each and every night.
    I have a friend who started to play the guitar for about 2 months now, and as I stood next to him and his "teacher", listening to a conversation they had, I wanted to shoot myself as that teacher said to him that he has to pratice for about 15 minutes a day to become good, AS HARD AS IT SEEMS TO BE. The best thing, however, was that this friend of mine was seriously disappointed about the fact that he has to find this fucking 15 minutes of time each day. Half an hour later he started to bitch around that he doesnt improve. I simply couldn't believe it.
    And I? I am sitting each fucking day till late at night at my drawing desk, practicing and learning. I am not complaining, dude, I love what I do, that's WHY I do it. I love it and I don't need anything more but drawing and painting. It's the learning, the concentration, learning to be able to create wonderfu stuff, and I want to get better and better, yeah maybe it sonds stupid but I wanna make my dreams come true.
    I always console myself with saying to myself that these people wont ever know what dreams are and they won't know what making dreams come true with damn hard work is either
    honestly,I know what you feel
    amen...the girl we fired was just like your friend "Darren, its annoying how good you are" "well, I spend a minimum of 4 hours a night after work drawing..." "oh...well then I won't compete with you."

    Seriously...there's a massive difference between saying you want to be good at something and actually working to be good.

    The more I learn, the more I realise how little I know. Its the people who have no knowledge who don't understand the complexity of something.

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  23. #22
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    Great rant! This also reminds be of the manga fanartist who says they're going pro.

    * Help a CA artist! Visit the Constructive Critique section! *


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    good rant, no matter how many typos or swearwords. i agree that there are too many overconfident manga artists with no skill who aren't willing to sacrifice that little extra time a day to improve, yet go around lazing about not thinking how good they have it. (i have no gripes with manga artists who sacrifice as much time as they can too improve. that goes for all kinds of artists, actually.)

    although i do agree with L.scott Knight's point.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder Doom
    "You can do whatever you want son, I couldn't possibly be anymore ashamed of you than I already am."

    That what my father told my when I was ten and I told him I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.
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    regarding that guitar bit mentioned a few posts up,

    I've been "playing" guitar for about 7 year, meaning I learned how to strum the thing 7 years ago. I took some lessons and never really practiced. I learned power chords, major and minor chords, basically rythm guitar. In other words, I never took it seriously. I vaguely know a scale or two.

    my brother, on the other hand, started just over two years ago. It took him about 3 months to catch up with me, and lately he's been learning jazz fingering, Django Reinhardt type stuff. I hear him practicing it up in his apartment at all times of day and night. When we watch tv together he's practicing. He seriously puts in hours a day on a hobby between his painting.

    It just wasn't in me. I thought it was fun to a point, but too much work to go past that. I did eventually give drums a try and found it much more to my taste, and I think I've gone further faster just because it feels right to me. It's what I mesh with. No difference with people who give up when they can't get their proportions right, it was fun to a point but it just isn't lighting them up anymore. Just find what does.

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  26. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Man
    we occupy a higher ground and plane of awareness that I feel many other people are not forced to develop.
    I had this conversation with one of my roommates the other day

    "Dude, you really should try acid" he said
    "I'd rather not man." I replied
    "Seriously man, you look at things like the simplest leaf and you see things you never notice. You realise how complex and and perfect it is and you understand it on a higher level." He said
    I sat silent for a moment
    "You would have such an insane trip" he said
    "Dude i'm an artist. I look at everything like that already." I replied.

    My work: [link]
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  27. #26
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    Magicman, I believe your rant came from utter mismanagement of manpower more than the fact that she was a terrible artist yet was able to remain in employment for far longer than her natural life cycle as an artist.

    I've seen the same cases at work and in school too. How some classmates, who really haven't made improvements in work ethic, attitude and skills remain in school (with average grades) and how some of the assholes where I formerly work remain employed in the capacity of an artist remains a myth and mystery to me. But one thing that is not a mystery.....is that we'll see a lot more of these people around. There are people who feel they deserve a pay job or the industry pay scale just because they have a college education. So I wouldn't ask you to relax or calm down....just accept it as part of the inconveniences we have to put up with in life.

    There's compassion....then there's blind compassion....



    Edit: Blue...that's high on life for ya! My philosophy prof once told me this.....when you're looking at things on all aspects intuitively, would you need perception altering substances to see more? Its part of the reason why this job gets better and better even though it probably isn't gonna pay that well for most people except the most talented and committed.

    ********************************
    There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine and THE TRUTH.
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  28. #27
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    'Blue, after that last post, I have absolutely nothing to say that would add anything to this thread. The world can't see through our "eyes" and to be honest, I don't think it could tolerate what it saw if it could...

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    "I would kill to be an artist" doesn't tick me off, like others mentioned, I would think of it as compliment. But "I wish I'm as talented as you" really pisses me off. That sounds more like the ability to draw better is a gift from unknown power, rather than practice and studying.

    As for that girl you mentioned, I've seen a few like that, or worse. They just take things for granted because they get things their way too easily. Hope that girl learned some lesson by getting fired.

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    Blue
    That was awesome.

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    Quote Originally Posted by figure2
    Magic Man,

    Your rant reminded me of a guy I knew back in middle school through high school. He was just about the opposite of the girl you had to fire. This guy back in 7th grade was already an accomplished artist. He created beautiful drawings for his friends in bands when they needed posters & announcements. I was also reminded of this guy when I saw the movie "Crumb." Like Robert Crumb, this guy came from a family of artists where it almost seemed like a genetic trait.

    As good as this guy was, he couldn't care less about his ability and after high school, while his friends & classmates went off to college, he went to work for a bike shop as a bike mechanic and never aspired to anything more. I have often felt that because his ability came to him so easily he put no value in it and lost interest. So if someone could indeed take a little "red pill" to give them all the ability they wanted, it would probably have the same effect.

    Perhaps he enjoyed mechanics more than he enjoyed his art?

    Cockney boy, but south of the river!
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