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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    My ModernPulp contest entry

    Hey guys,

    Just wanted to share my MP Contest entry..

    I decided to make my image a desktop so had to come up with something that would work horizontally. anyway, here ya go..

    My ModernPulp contest entry

    Any C&C are welcome


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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    the gentleman's face is too pale, lips too red and ears too pointed...leaving us w/ a zombie/vampire looking innocent bystander.

    the girl's hair is working very well...but her face is a little harsh (read: masculine) at the current point.

    her top gun's bullet trail is a direct tangent w/ a bullet's trail from the offscreen enemy...move one of them.

    the bystander's back hand needs broken in the fingers are all symmetrically posed...variate at least one.

    wow, i really like her hair.

    the brick wall seems very rushed on the left hand side personally. design the space more.

    last but not least....the characters are casting shadows on the wall...but not upon themselves. it will help the realism of this scene very much if you were to be consistent w/ your light and shadows.

    i hope to see you fix this, it could be a really good portfolio piece.

    Those who make religion their god will not have God for their religion.

    Thomas Erskine

    Crit for a Crit: My Online Sketchbook of Super Power Fun

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Hey Apollo!

    Wow, thanks for the great crit! I'm trying to take them all in and will rework the piece later.

    I appreciate you taking the time to *really* look at the piece!


  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    GA and the world
    Thanked 122 Times in 63 Posts
    There are certainly some good things going on here, but many of them seem formulaic, vice causal. For instance, there are some neat lighting effects but several were put down more becuase they looked good than being caused by a lighting source. For instance, the back shine on her right breast and leg have no logical source. The pistol flame could cause that, but not from the gun's current position. The shine on her leathers also doesn't seem to relate to a consistant source (and the high shine position on her crotch makes it seem like "she's" fairly excited). These lighting mis-cues are all over this piece.

    His upper teeth are tracking down in his mouth, vice back along the gum line.

    The trails make it seem like someone is shooting tiny torpedoes at them. Having larger, well-rendered impact points on the brick wall (with perhaps a clothing hit) will do a much better job of indicating incoming gunfire. Right now, the trails are detracting from the focal point and the impacts are not the same quality of the rest of the image.

    She's pumping out rounds from an automatic, but there are no shell cases being expended.

    You seem to be hiding the feet, which highlights that you are hiding the feet.

    His right hand is just bizarre. The places that the fingers jut out of the palm are way off, especially the pinky.

    Their comparitive size (she being so much bigger than him) is also making her seem very masculine.

    They both have very large eyes (especially her, for squinting like that).

    I really dig a lot of this, but there are few things that are keeping it from just "wowing" me.

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