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  1. #1
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    Ridiculous requests from bosses/clients

    One of my bosses just came back with a graphic that I turned in (I work as a graphic artist for a company that makes training "courseware" for the military) complaining that an antenna that was supposed to be round was flat. I told him that was because the image was only 250X250 pixels and the object in the image was very small. He looked like he understood...for a second...then he proceeded to ask, "Well can't you just make it a circle?" So then I had to explain that the image is made of a certain number of pixels, pixels are square and you simply cannot make a circle with 6 squares, and if you try it will still look square. I think it tied a knot in his brain, he just shrugged, concieded, and walked off.

    Anyone else have horror/humor stories of clients or bosses requesting ridiculous, paradoxical, or otherwise obnoxious things?
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  3. #2
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    Thats considered rediculous?

    Rediculous is being asked to do two storyboards for two different ads in 1/2 a day. You shoulda seen their faces when I gave em the invoice

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    I guess I ment more on the silly side of ridiculous with my story

    However your story is pretty ridiculous...thats when you bust out the diagram of the "production triangle" for them...cost, time, quality...you can have two but not three....bitches...or, like you did, just save the surprise for later.
    Ia Ia Cthulhu Fthagn

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    Ridiculous clients just never go away.

    This one is recent. The fella gave me a sentence with 8 words and wanted me to reproduce a miracle masterpiece. Multiply that by 90 pictures. I've blown the deadline as many times as I can and apparently I even got a paycut. Honestly I couldn't care less with the amount he's paying me originally. Its practice for me.... I don't think we're gonna use each other's services anymore.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cthogua
    ...He looked like he understood...for a second...then he proceeded to ask, "Well can't you just make it a circle?" So then I had to explain that the image is made of a certain number of pixels, pixels are square and you simply cannot make a circle with 6 squares, and if you try it will still look square. I think it tied a knot in his brain, he just shrugged, concieded, and walked off.
    ,

    This is just a hunch but have you noticed a lot of Dilbert cartoons posted in people's offices & cubicles? That is often a great tip-off that an idiot boss is in the house.
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    Quote Originally Posted by figure2
    ,

    This is just a hunch but have you noticed a lot of Dilbert cartoons posted in people's offices & cubicles? That is often a great tip-off that an idiot boss is in the house.
    Aye yeah actually the former (note...former) AD had them all over his cube. However in our case its like 18 idiot bosses. The graphics we do have to go through so many people that have the authority to send it back to you for whatever reason they want it's ridiculous in and of itself. I've literally had to make things look worse as per their requests...especially animation. Fuild and natural...big no no, that looks gay (was actually told that), stiff and robotic, just the way the military likes it.
    Ia Ia Cthulhu Fthagn

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cthogua
    I guess I ment more on the silly side of ridiculous with my story

    However your story is pretty ridiculous...thats when you bust out the diagram of the "production triangle" for them...cost, time, quality...you can have two but not three....bitches...or, like you did, just save the surprise for later.
    Yeah, yours is more like a "...how the fuck did this clown shoes fall into a managerial position?"

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    Not so much a boss, but a client story. Every once in awhile, if someone approaches me I'll do an oil portrait. I don't pursue these clients...they just find me somehow...like stumbling upon a polar bear's turd in the desert.

    The last one I did was of these two sisters...ages 4 and 2. I busted out the painting super fast...it was only 16"x24" - all he could 'afford'. They wanted to change the ribbons in their hair to bows, add little cross necklaces that weren't there - which was all fine and minor. But then I was totally amazed to see how far they would go so they would change they way their daughters looked. "Could you bring in her jowels a little bit? I know she has them...but ..ya know...just a little"
    "Could you pull some bangs in front of her forehead a bit...maybe make it a little smaller...I know she has a big forehead...but ya know...."
    " Maybe widen this eye a little bit"
    "Straighten out her mouth"

    -Mind you, these girls were better looking than most kids. I'll never understand why they wanted to change they way their girls looked...kinda bummed me out.
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    Quote Originally Posted by loomer
    ...They wanted to change the ribbons in their hair to bows, add little cross necklaces that weren't there - which was all fine and minor. But then I was totally amazed to see how far they would go so they would change they way their daughters looked. "Could you bring in her jowels a little bit? I know she has them...but ..ya know...just a little"
    loomer'

    This is a bit off the subject but I hope you realize all those little changes are billable, especially if it is different from the sketch the parents approved. I would highly recommend that you talk to your client before you do any work about what they are entitled to once they have approved your sketch. Make sure they know that anything above & beyond what was agreed to is billable at an hourly rate. Better yet, after your conversation, put all the points you both agreed to into a written agreement that both of you sign & date. If a client refuses to sign a document that only contains points that they agreed to verbally, you are more than entitled to tell the client to go fuck themselves and walk away from a major headache.
    Mark Hannon
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    Quote Originally Posted by figure2
    loomer'

    This is a bit off the subject but I hope you realize all those little changes are billable, especially if it is different from the sketch the parents approved. I would highly recommend that you talk to your client before you do any work about what they are entitled to once they have approved your sketch. Make sure they know that anything above & beyond what was agreed to is billable at an hourly rate. Better yet, after your conversation, put all the points you both agreed to into a written agreement that both of you sign & date. If a client refuses to sign a document that only contains points that they agreed to verbally, you are more than entitled to tell the client to go fuck themselves and walk away from a major headache.
    I think its more the fact that he was shaking his head at how superficial some people can be.

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    Haha... Gotta love this thread!

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    here is a crazy editor story-
    one editor of a magazine at my school, asked me to move something in my picture (as in photograph)... one of those things you can't really do... then looked at me like i was crazy when i said i couldn't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Man
    I think its more the fact that he was shaking his head at how superficial some people can be.
    It doesn't hurt to educate people. If you are working for the idiot as a full-time employee, there isn't much you can do besides look for another job...with every spare minute you have.

    As a freelancer, artists sometimes don't see a portrait assignment as the same thing as an illustration assignment, but they should. These situations make for funny stories but in most cases, freelance artists get into them because they never took the time to have a discussion with the client about what was included for the original fee and what was extra at an additional fee. Just basic business.

    ...We now return you to the funny boss-from-hell stories...
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    Angry

    Ok this isnt really to do with a boss...more a client.

    (keep in mind this was my first reall JOB in the artfield so i was excited and gullable)

    This guy wanted me to produce for him a detailed drawing for a games card company...forgot which one. he wanted a zombie in some kind of scene. So i spent a week on this thing...constantly polishing it off and asking him questions via email about how different parts should look etc.

    I sent it off through email like he said...then guess what...yep, i know you know the story allready. SeanyDs been ripped off!
    I diddent hear nothing back from him at all.

    Thats why you should allwas get them to sign some kind of document as proof that they are going to pay you for your artwork.

    If i ever found him now, illd most probably end up in jail for the things illd do to him

    Sean

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    I've gotta client story too.

    I worked at a screen printing shop as the graphic artist. A woman wanted a logo for her daycare company.

    I always informed my clients that a logo should be simple, and represent the company with something memorable. Like the Pepsi logo. So simplistic. So effective.

    She said, "Well, that won't do. I want the world. And I want children climbing up the world on ladders. And then, they'll each be wearing different uniforms like doctors and lawyers and they need to have briefcases. I want the world to be on a background of a cloudy sky, and the children should be growing up on the ladders. Like show the kids at toddler age, then child age, then adult age. And I want some blocks with letters and numbers on them in the corners of the world."

    Well, money is money, and I've got no pride. So I did it. A week later, when she had this visual vomit collage of ideas "logo" printed on a business card, it was a black blob. People just don't listen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by figure2
    It doesn't hurt to educate people. If you are working for the idiot as a full-time employee, there isn't much you can do besides look for another job...with every spare minute you have.

    As a freelancer, artists sometimes don't see a portrait assignment as the same thing as an illustration assignment, but they should. These situations make for funny stories but in most cases, freelance artists get into them because they never took the time to have a discussion with the client about what was included for the original fee and what was extra at an additional fee. Just basic business.

    ...We now return you to the funny boss-from-hell stories...
    No no, I totally agree with everything you said since I run my own design business myself and the thing that shits me is when clients want major overhauls which I definitely charge for - just that I think he was talking more about the guy wanting an "idealised" version of his daughter painter, rather than how she really is.

    I find it kinda sad too.

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    edit by jason: midnight I just sent you a pm.

    no more trolling. period.

    banishment is coming...


    j
    Last edited by Jason Manley; August 31st, 2005 at 04:02 AM.
    Yeah Baby! Cause I'm The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight!

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    Quote Originally Posted by magicgoo
    I've gotta client story too.

    I worked at a screen printing shop as the graphic artist. A woman wanted a logo for her daycare company.

    I always informed my clients that a logo should be simple, and represent the company with something memorable. Like the Pepsi logo. So simplistic. So effective.

    She said, "Well, that won't do. I want the world. And I want children climbing up the world on ladders. And then, they'll each be wearing different uniforms like doctors and lawyers and they need to have briefcases. I want the world to be on a background of a cloudy sky, and the children should be growing up on the ladders. Like show the kids at toddler age, then child age, then adult age. And I want some blocks with letters and numbers on them in the corners of the world."

    Well, money is money, and I've got no pride. So I did it. A week later, when she had this visual vomit collage of ideas "logo" printed on a business card, it was a black blob. People just don't listen.
    haha, I bet she loved it too while you stood there shaking your head.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMidnightBomber
    Rediculous....lol, idealised lmao

    It's just too easy you do all the work for me.
    Scrapping the bottom of the barrel aren't we? Hmm, I suppose thats the best dig you can get at me.

    You should try doing some artwork sometime, I've heard it whispered that this is what the site is for, rather than posting absolutely garbage in the lounge for 5+ months (already laughable).

    You're kind of like Madster without the good crits - how old are you btw? What 14?

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    edit by jason: another useless post wasting my time. no more lounge for you.


    j
    Last edited by Jason Manley; August 31st, 2005 at 04:03 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMidnightBomber
    Lol You are actually matching wits with a soon to be 14 yr old and you're losing!!!!!!....Unfortunately there isn't an acronym for the amount of laughter you are causing me, suffice it to say I think you should stop before you cause yourself anymore embaressment. I have had fun tonight and for that I thank you, but you are clearly not a worthy adversary apparent from your base rebuttals and inability to spell correctly. Those are unfortunately general requirements for the position. Good night-EMB


    P.S. Spelling is at the top of the list when arguing intellectual ability-you set the terms, I just trumped you.
    You're 13?...nuff said.

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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMidnightBomber
    bunch of crap
    uhh...okay...he misspelled ridiculous...a common and easily missed mistake...

    idealised is a proper spelling however.

    if you doubt:
    http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=idealised


    i'm not sure whats worse: accidentally spelling one word incorrectly, or making a big fuss about another that isn't. (i'll help you out, its the latter)

    i'm afraid in this battle of wits you're mostly unarmed.

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    edit by jason

    and another useless post.

    now im going to go check your posts you have made this week...should i find nothing but trolling..no art...and no constructive comments I will be banning. I hope some of you all here on the forums who do this kind of shit on a daily basis realize that the days of being unproductive on this site are going to be few and far between.

    tired and fed up with trolling....

    edit again by jason: WELL DONE>>>YOU ARE NOW BANNED evilmidnight. Trolling is not welcome in this community.


    jason
    Last edited by Jason Manley; August 31st, 2005 at 04:23 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMidnightBomber
    Are you kidding me? You just wrote "easily missed mistake".

    I'm actually not sure what is worse: accidentally spelling one word incorrectly, or thinking you won an argument based on a british spelling. I'll help you out, its the latter.

    I fear in this battle of wits you are the one unarmed.

    Ironic isn't it?
    Seriously, apart from making stupid remarks because no one in real life would listen to your pre-pube self...what exactly do you come here for? I haven't seen a single piece of art from you, a single useful crit or anything that wasn't some lame ass teenager comment.

    Grow the fuck up or just leave.

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    I come here to view the artwork and more recently entertainment. Thanx and goodnight. Sorry Cthogua for hijacking your thread.
    Yeah Baby! Cause I'm The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight!

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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilMidnightBomber
    I come here to view the artwork and more recently entertainment. Thanx and goodnight. Sorry Cthogua for hijacking your thread.
    You forgot to include "and be a little 13 year old cunt who thinks being a troll is funny".

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    edit by jason: I AM SICK OF RUNNING AROUND PLAYING PARENT. Be respectful to each other here. Understood? Next offense is banned.


    Any takers?

    EDIT by ParkerD: I don't remember ever posting on this thread?? WTF? What did I write? I often leave CA open at the animation labs at my school when I grab a bite to eat.

    *confused...*
    Last edited by CaptainInsano; September 2nd, 2005 at 05:07 AM.

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    What is this thread ..the fuckn' grammar post?

    Anyway, I just wanted to say to figure2 and MagicMan, yeah this was definetly a post to tell you a ridiculous account of client, but I totally agree with what you had to say about client relationships. I am very soft spoken, and super laid back...and sometimes when trying to negotiate with clients I really get the short end of the stick and only hurt myself in the end. I learned alot from that experience...more than how fuckn' superficial this pricks were - but how to handle myself a little better.

    Just this week I got another commission (not portrait)- and let the guy know right up front, that he will be billed for revisions. I was kinda proud of myself, to be honest.

    I appreciate posting that advice...it'll serve as a good reminder.

    As for another ridiculous story:
    I worked for a company that did somewhat high-end parties, and I worked in their art dept., where we did various shit depending on what the client wanted. The funniest shit was when they asked to have their little white son's head on top of Michael Jordan's body...that looked amazing!
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    Quote Originally Posted by loomer
    What is this thread ..the fuckn' grammar post?

    Anyway, I just wanted to say to figure2 and MagicMan, yeah this was definetly a post to tell you a ridiculous account of client, but I totally agree with what you had to say about client relationships. I am very soft spoken, and super laid back...and sometimes when trying to negotiate with clients I really get the short end of the stick and only hurt myself in the end. I learned alot from that experience...more than how fuckn' superficial this pricks were - but how to handle myself a little better.

    Just this week I got another commission (not portrait)- and let the guy know right up front, that he will be billed for revisions. I was kinda proud of myself, to be honest.

    I appreciate posting that advice...it'll serve as a good reminder.

    As for another ridiculous story:
    I worked for a company that did somewhat high-end parties, and I worked in their art dept., where we did various shit depending on what the client wanted. The funniest shit was when they asked to have their little white son's head on top of Michael Jordan's body...that looked amazing!
    Hahaha, well done yeah definitely let them know the ground rules you will set from the get go, that way they can't act like dicks later on.

    Alright not really with art, but for someone connected to the company I freelance designwork for - he's a lawyer and is one of the financiers, comes into the office one day and asks "who is artistic here?" and I get pulled into his office.

    He less than eloquently asks me to forge a signature - I'm like...WTF!? Anyway, I turn it down and apologise, I'm still thinking wtf as I leave. Call me old school, but that is dodgy as all hell! He makes a fuckload of money, but still, my opinion of him dived about 3 points after that.

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    A typical scenario at my job (graphic/multimedia designer) is I'll get specs for a project in an email, and at the bottom of the email I'll find the deadline: tomorrow. Aside from the fact that next-day deadlines are nearly impossible to fulfill, the real kick in the ass is how the project manager knew about this project for weeks, commited to delivering it on a certain date, and didn't tell me about it until the day before that date and expects me to deliver it by then. And of course, when I mention that it's impossible to do,they make it seem like it's my fault that the project is delayed. So then I'll get shit from management, I'll need to defend myself, waste time in meeting about why the project is fucked, etc. Ultimately it becomes clear that it's not my fault, but not until everyone has wasted tons of time bullshitting over why the deadline is impossible, what we can do to fix it, come to some agreement as to how much (unpaid) overtime I'll have to put in to deliver the project in a few days... And while we're wasting time talking about how the project manager fucked up and how we're going to fix it, I could be actually working and getting things done.

    I never thought I'd say this, but I think I was better off freelancing. Working for an in-house design department I waste so much freakin' time in ridiculous meetings, planning sessions, etc. It's so inefficient. When I was just freelancing, all I had to do was deliver art. All the nonsense still went on within the companies/clients I worked for, but I wasn't part of it. It was their problem.

    Last edited by helix7; August 31st, 2005 at 12:34 PM.

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