Results 1 to 17 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    2,505
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 540 Times in 203 Posts

    Being serious: anyone have or had obsessive compulsive disorder?

    I dont know if you'd call it that, but I have a personality that is very addictive - as in if I like something I'll lose track of everything else and I will do everything to become perfect in whatever I'm obsessed with to the relative detriment to everything else.

    And I think this leads to a form of obsessive compulsive disorder for me, I'll give you some examples. Like, you know those times when you can't quite seem to remember something, it's at the edge of your grasp - like someone's name you haven't seen for years and you cant quite grasp it...I once spend almost all night trying to find this one dude's names, I pulled out all my old year books, and spent like 6 hours trying and finally finding this guy's name, all this for no reason other than I was reminded of this guy because of something on tv. Also, if I have done something and I deem it to be less than satisfactory, I'll sometimes spend hours and hours bringing it as close to perfect as possible.

    For the last year and a half, I've been obsessed with art work as a career, I've never had any formal training and only now really starting to in my mind come to a point where I can actually believe myself when I say I am an artist.

    I was brought up by my parents always telling me never to take art as a career, because its is unstable and that "the good artists are only known after they're dead" and other things to this effect. I've been drawing since I was about 3 and I've never taken an art class or any formal teaching because of this.

    I stumbled into doing art as a vocation after I graduated with two very non artistic degrees, when i storyboarded for a few ad companies and thought I might be ablet o make a go of things in the art field.

    To cut a long story short, in my eyes I never see myself as good enough and spend almost all my free time studying art work and techniques and stuff like this - if i really cannot take it anymore, I'll go see a movie, but that is all the relax time I give myself.

    I think this stems from the fact that in my head I feel so damn lucky to be in this field having it being drilled into my since I was 3 that art is not a "real job", so in hommge to the opportunities I've been given I sacrifice everything else in order to try and become as goods as possible in this profession.

    Thing is, I enjoy it, I love it to death - is this addiction? I haven't had a proper relationship with anyone since last year, I rarely see my friends, hell I rarely see anyone in the house I live in, my day consists of study, work, gym, eat, study, study. I spend close to 12 hours a day on artwork and studies, to me this is normal, to other people this is nuts, to me my artwork is average, to other people my work is really good...what the hell, am I losing perspective or what the fuck?

    I do however feel that i am progressing in my art as quickly as physically an technically possible right now, but is there something wrong with what I am doing? My idols are Michaelangelo, Leonardo and Rembrandt...if their work quality is what I aspire to...will I be a hermit from here on out?

    ...I will profess that for some reason, women find this hermit like aloofness attractive...but I am not interested in anyone else, at all. Am I crazy? What the heck is going on.

    Dammit, I better sleep.

    Oh, also, I recently contracted the dreaded coolwebsearch trojan program on my computer and spend almost 3 sleepless nights trying to beat that fucker. I eventually folded and did a system restore to a point before i contracted the virus, but I felt cheated that I couldn't beat it. Damn those Russian hackers sonofabitches.


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    New Haven, CT
    Posts
    2,987
    Thanks
    295
    Thanked 290 Times in 173 Posts
    To some extent I do the same socially. Well, more relationship wise. Whenever I get a new girl I forget about everything else...I don't draw, write, compose.. nothing. It typically takes a while before I ease off with the girl and I can feel creative again.

    But then again, I have an over active sex drive (more then any girl I have met wants to stand) so it may be linked to that. Oddly enough though, when i am having sex regularly, I am much more creative.

    But, I have had spells where I discover a new field in art and I obsess like mad with it until I feel i have reached a standard level with it. When I 1st got into 3D, I would spend 13+ hours in front of my computer without getting up. I wouldn't even realize the time go by! But, as I reached a decent level of ability with that, I lost interest. I have tried almost everything, from wood carving, to glass blowing, to ice sculpture to painting and...well I guess I am searching for my 'natural' medium, and can't find it. Closest thing is pencil sketching, but even that has its limits.

    You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, because you'll burn out your creativity and your drive to do more.
    My work: [link]

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,661
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts
    Magic Man

    I would hardly call your "problem" an compulsive disorder. Believe me, I worked with compulsive, REAL compulsive people. A person with a compulsive problem can't even function in real life. they can't work, go to school, study, go the gym like you, so don't worry about that at all. I've seen real ocd's before, it ain't pretty. You're okay.

    I would say you're worrying too much. I do the same thing too sometimes. Just because you spend a lot of time working and studying doesn't mean you're crazy! It means you're very dedicated, and can't imagine doing anything else with your life. When you start obsessing about washing your hands, or killing your neighbor, instead of becoming a painter, THEN you got something to worry about.

    Whoa man... as for girls... When I didnt' have a girlfriend, I get more art work done and focus more. But now that I do, all I think about is her, and I hardly get jack shit done on my art. I have to learn how to balance the two.

    BTW, , you're doing better than me! I'm starting to GIVE UP on my art. I've made great improvement over the past year, but still I look at Sargent's paintings and think... no... actually KNOW deep down in my soul that I'll never become that good. But I want to keep trying, and it kills me inside whenever I do an oil painting that sucks. But what else am I gonna do with my life? sell insurance?

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    2,505
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 540 Times in 203 Posts
    [QUOTE=ParkerD]Magic Man

    I would hardly call your "problem" an compulsive disorder. Believe me, I worked with compulsive, REAL compulsive people. A person with a compulsive problem can't even function in real life. they can't work, go to school, study, go the gym like you, so don't worry about that at all. I've seen real ocd's before, it ain't pretty. You're okay.

    I would say you're worrying too much. I do the same thing too sometimes. Just because you spend a lot of time working and studying doesn't mean you're crazy! It means you're very dedicated, and can't imagine doing anything else with your life. When you start obsessing about washing your hands, or killing your neighbor, instead of becoming a painter, THEN you got something to worry about.

    Whoa man... as for girls... When I didnt' have a girlfriend, I get more art work done and focus more. But now that I do, all I think about is her, and I hardly get jack shit done on my art. I have to learn how to balance the two.

    BTW, , you're doing better than me! I'm starting to GIVE UP on my art. I've made great improvement over the past year, but still I look at Sargent's

    Thanks both of you.

    Parker, you really think that you will never be as good as someone else who is made of the same flesh and bone and sinew as you?

    I realised long ago that the only one responsible for my skill and my life is myself, I tell myself a hundred times a day that I will be better than any artist before me - whether that will happen or not will remain to be seen - but I think mental attitude is teh biggest thing.

    Don't sell your mind short or else you will never get past this glass ceiling.

    As for relationships, I think it was a sublime thought to revolve my life around something I have total control over, rather than something that is as volatile as another person. Its weird how it works.

    Btw, anyone know if Leonardo every married?

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Spaceball One
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Magic Man just saw The Aviator is all.....
    -Call me Semaj for short.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    1,661
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Ssenkrah Semaj
    Magic Man just saw The Aviator is all.....
    LOL!

    Hey, it's normal for great artists to wind up as lonely hermet crabs.

    Michaelangelo never married... rumored to be gay.
    Sargent never married, never dated.
    Bougereau lost his wife and children in his late 20's, and never remarried again until he was 60.

    So.. uh.. I guess you're on the right track!

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Spaceball One
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    That was a damn good movie....what Magic Man should really be asking if anyone has that affliction where you hear about something and think you have it
    -Call me Semaj for short.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    2,505
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 540 Times in 203 Posts
    I wanna see the Aviator - Howard Hughes faccinates me - any movie reviews for it?

    And I'll be honest, a few times you come close to understanding insanity when you do compusive all night studies, its like the very fabric of reality starts to take a different trajectory of normality. Thats when I'm like "okay...time to go to sleep son".

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Spaceball One
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    I loved that movie, though I believe it is not for everyone. The ending was really, really, good.

    Wanna know If you truly are obsessive compulsive or have any other personality disorders? Take the test:

    http://www.4degreez.com/misc/persona...sorder_test.mv
    -Call me Semaj for short.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    2,505
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 540 Times in 203 Posts
    I don't really believe those online tests since I scored an IQ a few points below Einstein on one.

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Spaceball One
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Yeah they are just for fun. I scored high for narcisstic and paranoid disorders which I can't say aren't far from the mark.
    -Call me Semaj for short.

  13. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    2,505
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 540 Times in 203 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Ssenkrah Semaj
    Yeah they are just for fun. I scored high for narcisstic and paranoid disorders which I can't say aren't far from the mark.
    No need to be paranoid mate...I really AM here to eat your liver!

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    New Haven, CT
    Posts
    2,987
    Thanks
    295
    Thanked 290 Times in 173 Posts
    Actually, what you have is probably the same thing i have when i get into something new. My doctor says I become "Hyper Focused" for whatever period of time is needed to achieve the goal I am fighting towards. He also says its normal, and it can last longer, or shorter for different people. I spent a solid 8 months in front of Lightwave every night instead of acknowledging my friends' existence and being social in any way.

    You're fine. Just find balance and don't stress yourself.
    My work: [link]

  15. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,994
    Thanks
    91
    Thanked 243 Times in 66 Posts
    I've been diagnosed (by a real LIVE doctor! not an online test!) with OCD. Also, depression and bi-polar. Just like everybody else in the world. Anyhow, I wash my hands a lot, and my other wacky habit: I rinse my mouth after I brush my teeth for like 25 minutes. I was on meds for about a year, and they worked. It was kind of cool. Then I lost my insurance and couldn't afford them any longer.

    Anyhow, my compulsions definitely seep into other parts of my life. But, it's not really all that bad. I mean, so what if you're obsessed with career and choices and art? Art is something you need to have a passion for, and if it's borderline obsession, then you know that it's the perfect life long choice for you.

    And actually, OCD comes in handy. Instead of measuring twice before you cut, you measure 40 times. Instead of forgetting to check if you locked the door at night, you check about 12 times. It's a very useful disorder

    Trés Cuté Sketch Group
    magicgoo bluemech cwn annwn light dished

  16. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Spaceball One
    Posts
    482
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by magicgoo
    I've been diagnosed (by a real LIVE doctor! not an online test!)
    Sooooooo.... what are you saying? That the website might have misdiagnosed me as a homicidal maniac?
    -Call me Semaj for short.

  17. #16
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Fredericksburg, VA US
    Posts
    1,127
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked 78 Times in 51 Posts
    Magic Man,

    I find myself going into phases with art where all I want to do is art, make art, and improve upon that. I especially had that going on for me when I first started trying to take this art game seriously. All I did was wake up, draw, go to work, draw, sleep, repeat. Sometimes I would eat if I remembered to.

    Whenever things start going well and I "level up" to some new way of working I find it really addictive and keep pushing that idea until it gets boring or frustrating. Inevitably I always hit some small or large amount of burnout and that would kind of depress me, but I'd try to draw even though it seemed almost painful to keep pushing up against what seems like a brick wall. Then I would end up setting the pencil down for a couple days just out of frustration, but still my thoughts and focus was always on art. It was really kind of obsessive.. every person I looked at I looked them up and down and wonder how I would draw them, or how would I capture this scene, or analyzing how light hits the cars I'm driving behind and how light reflects off of it.. (I'm not saying thats a bad practice but looking at the world as art 24/7 is kind of lame.)

    Eventually I ended up taking a pretty long break and realized that I was missing out on so much while I was pulled into my own little art world. There is so much to life that is to experience.. art is a reflection or imitation of what LIFE is.. not the other way around. Everyone can almost agree that art without emotion isn't as enjoyable to look at.. where you are just hanging out in your own little art vaccuum.. there is nothing coming in besides whatever artistic ideas and influences that you allow in. But life is a spontaneous and fleeting thing. When you're too busy looking at the sunset trying to analyze how you might paint it - you're missing out on the real emotional experience of seeing the sunset, and its that real experience of the sunset that makes it worth painting in the first place. Y'know what I mean? You gotta get out there and really LIVE, thats what makes all of this worth doing in the first place. And try to find the right balance between moving forward with art and also moving forward with your life outside of art.

    I am taking this quote from Sublime out of context but I feel its appropriate : "But, then one day I met a man who came to me and said
    Hard work good, and hard work fine but first take care of head"

    Again this is all just my opinion and experience so far which is fairly limited in comparison to a lot of people on here. If you start to think this is really a problem for you personally, then I would suggest to just relax and take it easier from time to time.
    Cave House Studios - creative animation and video
    What the Sketchbook

  18. #17
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    339
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    There was this programme i watched on T.V about O.C.D, it was quite interesting. This one woman hadn't touched another human being in YEARS. Never had it but i reckon it would be scary to have it...
    ~Lover~

Similar Threads

  1. SketchBook: Compulsive´s Sketchbook
    By compulsive in forum Sketchbooks
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: September 17th, 2010, 03:07 PM
  2. Art: Compulsive
    By compulsive in forum Finished Art
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: February 7th, 2009, 04:39 PM
  3. Replies: 15
    Last Post: June 12th, 2008, 03:17 PM
  4. Obsessive
    By Krane in forum Artist Lounge
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: November 5th, 2005, 08:28 AM
  5. Art: obsessive compulsive pencil
    By fate in forum Finished Art
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: February 2nd, 2005, 04:51 AM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Designed by The Coldest Water, we build the coldest best water bottles, ice packs and best pillows.