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  1. #1
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    Critiques will be admired, loved and deeply appreciated.

    Hmm... I have a little problem with crits - I don't really have much about anyone to ask them from. I've been on devart, gaiaonline and asked my friends, but the problem is that I don't get enough crits, usually not at all. Then I ate my words about not posting here until I'm enough good.
    So any crits that comes into your mind, would be really appreciated.

    This picture is done as 60x100 cm, so the lines look crappy...
    As what comes to commenting, you can draw over the picture if you wish. Also - the sketchy lines are my style, in case you're wondering why they aren't that clean and visible. Everything else that looks bad is a mistake.

    Here's the sketch:
    Critiques will be admired, loved and deeply appreciated.

    And here's the start of the coloring:
    http://www.nic.fi/~shamppoo/Ladylongcigarette3.jpg

    I think I atleast have to re-draw her left hand, form the sheet on the leg better and change the skin color?
    Also I was wondering, if the sheet on the legs are good? And... should I draw the hair again?

    Thank you for listening and checking out this thread.

    (Also! The background sketch was made by Ara and I took a little referance on the back of my own and my mothers. )

    Last edited by Onis M.; July 14th, 2005 at 02:59 AM.
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  3. #2
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    I'm a bit worried about the hallway being there, depending on how you light it, it might just destroy the composition. I think aside from draping problems you are already aware of, it's coming along nicely.

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by qitsune
    I'm a bit worried about the hallway being there, depending on how you light it, it might just destroy the composition. I think aside from draping problems you are already aware of, it's coming along nicely.
    Thank you for the comment. :3

    As for the light I was thinking something mostly foggy (actually the whole background will be much foggier), maybe with a cold blue or white as color. But nothing too visible. Basically I think the hallway should end up being either in a mist of grayness or dark shadows, so that it's hard to say what's in there. (Currently at work, so I can't exactly show what I mean, but I'll color it as the first thing when I get home)
    And thanks for pointing that out. I'll think more about what I'll do with the light...

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  5. #4
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    http://www.nic.fi/~shamppoo/Ladylongcigarette4.jpg

    Here's a little update... (Not much, though, the day went a little late since I had to do few other things)
    I decided to go for uv-light bulbs, which don't show any light, expect that they reflect white ares as lila. So I thought that would look nice...
    and I did a little of the hair - I think the red/orange part looks quite good now, but I'll have to put more attention to the light blue part. Also the corset will be a lot darker.

    Anything else I should change? (I changed the legs a bit, but didn't concentrate on that yet enough much...)

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  6. #5
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    Andrew Loomis said "never have a line intersecting a head" in the fashion you have here with the edge of that shelf. Do something with it! It's very confusing to the composition.

    I also find your colour use a bit troubling at this point. There's not much in the way of lighting being suggested, and that's one of the most important things to grasp at this stage. Your lightsource seems very diffused, which is more of an outdoors/overcast day lighting, but the subject suggests something more moody. A strong, directional lightsource is easier to paint anyway.

    For some help on that, I found this link to be very helpful. Somebody posted it here a while ago. It's meant for animators, but it's every bit as relevant to illustration.

    Also a bit on that hallway.. darkening it in the distance seems to be the right thing to do, but you also increased the saturation which kind of dodgy depth-wise. If you increased the saturation closer to the foreground and lessened it to the back, it ought to help.

    Personally, I think this would be a much more interesting piece we saw what she was looking at. Preferably another person whose face we could see. Faces are interesting... if you choose to keep them out of this painting, you'll have to do a lot more work than you might otherwise have to in order to keep it eye-catching.

    I do like that corset though! Good stuff so far

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  7. #6
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    http://www.nic.fi/~shamppoo/Ladylongcigarette4b.jpg

    Those are some good crits. o_o;; *Is amazed.*

    I'm not sure about what intersecting means, could you tell me that? I tried to look over on english-finnish dictionary, but couldn't find it... (I'm not english, so some of those little harder words can be a little bit of trouble for me).
    I'm doubting that it means basically a line around the head. Which would make sense... *Wonders.*

    I was firstly thinking about using two different kinds of lights - soft and hard, but I think I over-did. I kind of would want some sort of fog around the room (for the soft light), to even up with the massive cigarette smoke. But I also noticed that I use way too strong colors on her leg... and the uv light goes too far, with many other things. I'll read the link more carefully when I get to work and study about light more. /Nod
    Then hopefully I can pull it out better or change the light all the way.

    The hallways changed. I'll change it a bit more than that later today... *Takes notes for her later pictures.*

    Actually I thought about putting something for her to see - I was thinking about a tub with rose pedals in the room that's far there... but the door is kind of small, so I' might have to edit the lines of the hallway too for that. ^^ And maybe add few rose pedals on her head, which would imply that she was just a while ago in the shower... maybe with someone else. I would like to not to draw a face in this picture, though... but any ideas are welcome. ^^

    Edit: Whoaa... this link is exactly what I needed. I haven't never understood highlights that well and I've only focused on soft/hard light + light source. This site has many things I didn't know. *Takes a day off from the picture and studies more about light.*

    Last edited by Onis M.; July 15th, 2005 at 02:34 AM.
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  8. #7
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    An intersection is when two lines cross (a street intersection is a street corner) so a line that goes across the head (but not necessarily through it) is intersecting the head.

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    Ohh... I thought "edge of that shelf" was a metaphor of some sort. I'll move the shell in that case. /nod

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  10. #9
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    Ok here is a very rough paint over. Hope it helps with the lighting.

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  11. #10
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    You have already had so many good crits, what can I say. I agree that the piece would have more interest if we could see what the girl was looking at. One other very small technical thing. You seem to have not established a defined vanishing point for the perspective of the hallway. Presuming that the picture on the wall has all right angles, the bottom side of the picture is pointing to a slightly different spot. So is the top of the picture, the ceiling line, the chair rail. It's not a big deal, but if you draw out the lines, you will see. I drew on your original to show you.

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  12. #11
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    Whee, thank you, hylandr2 and bengonzales - those were really helpful too. I actually had a perspective point in the picture, but I kind of screwed it up while drawing it on comp... I'll draw those again. ^^
    So, few days ago I tried to copy paste a new hand for her and some smaller stuff, and I did, and it saved, but the computer got overloaded from it, so I pressed reset and my comp didn't open anymore. Whee. So I didn't forget about this pic, just couldn't access to it. After scandisking it with another computer it works again, though.

    http://www.nic.fi/~shamppoo/Ladylongcigarette4d.jpg
    I darkened the shadows, changed her hair color, her hand, put some tiles on the wall and took off some of the wall on her head.
    Now I think the hand is too big and so is the head. Or atleast that neck looks bad. And I need more shadows, but less dark up there. And... more smoke on the right and I need to practise on how to color bottles.
    I'll also fix that perspective when I get home. ^^

    Thanks again.
    (And sorry, if I write too much.)

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  13. #12
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    I think the other hand was working better. this one is too big.

    You could also tilt the head just a bit where we catch her cheek and nose ( in know it has been said before). Also try to look at what has been done with the reclining female pose by the Masters.

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    Yea, I noticed the hand being big when I had moved it and saved. :/ Would the hand be better this way if it was smaller? I kind of like it this way more - brings more of her nature.

    I'm not sure about that nose/mouth showing - it would be sexy, but I might want to keep it this way, since I'm a big fan of backs and it would show better. But I think I'll make two pictures - another that is for my own preferance and other to practise to actually make a better picture with more brave use of colors and with a nose and mouth and such.

    Thanks for the input, I'll check those out. ^^

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    Hmm. In the end I got stuck into a little corner with someone else. o_x After being three days in that corner I started practising how light affects human skin, if there's two light sources, shadows, hands, female poses, perspective and such. I really think I need a lot more practise, before I can make this picture to match what I want it to be.

    Thank you for all the crits, I'll practise those things and try to get better at them. I think I'll open a sketchbook to keep myself motivated.

    (Just writing this if someone wondered that I forgot about the thread/picture)

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  16. #15
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    make sure the cigarette doesnt end exactly at the doorway.
    its an odd tangency,
    longer, shorter, doesnt matter.
    just not tangent.

    - Dan Dos Santos
    www.dandossantos.com
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  17. #16
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    I love pencil, but coloring is kind of... gray. Also maybe you shoul try do grayscale rough.

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