Future girl takes her zombie for a walk
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  1. #1
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    Future girl takes her zombie for a walk

    This is the fifth stage.

    First was the general mockup, then I traced that shape and fleshed in the sketch, before adding detail to the zombie. Then I decided the girl's pose was all wrong (her left arm was more akimbo than straight. I'm not too happy with the pose and leg/arm placement, but I hope to fix that when I ink in photoshop, which as you can see, I've sort of jumped the gun on.

    I really hate where her hand is right now. I also can't decide whether she's fumbling with her purse or a cell phone. I'm thinking "futuristic cell phone fumbling" because it's more stereotypically girly.

    Then there's the matter of "what does Future Girl Wear"...

    Comments / Critique / Bashing welcome.


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  2. #2
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    This is fun. I like the concept and the zombie's head (though he looks a little more dog than person in body). Watch her left arm; it's looking kind of puffy.

    Looking forward to the progress.

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    I like that hat. Nice job on the zombie.
    There are a few anatomy flaws, I think her torso is too short, the arm is too short, and legs are too straight and rigit. Think of when you walk, do you ever keep your legs straight out? It's usually bend a little.
    And the girl's leaning backward.

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  4. #4
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    Comments:

    im loving the lineart. youve got a funky style going for you and from what i can see from what you 'have' inked so far, its looking good - and thats a funky concept, hehe =D


    Critique:

    i think her ... ooh wait. look already said that. yep. her legs are too straight and rigid *nods*. lol yep thats about it there



    Bashing:


    lol well you asked for bashing. the zombie reminds me too much of the zombies from Warcraft III :p lol thats my only bash, he still looks darned cool though hehe

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  5. #5
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    i just picture the zombie ripping that poor hot ladies leg off at lunchtime.

    i think it would make much more sense if the zombie had a muzzle.

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    Thanks,

    You're right. My own critique would be that I'm having some balance and dynamics problems. Ideally the point should be that she's leaning back to pull on the, er, zombie-collar. Agreed on the arms and torso. This evening I'll go back and try to get a couple quick once-overs on the pose from a few other angles to see what I can change.

    What I really need to do is grab the camera and cajole someone into being a reference at this point.

    Quote Originally Posted by look
    I like that hat. Nice job on the zombie.
    There are a few anatomy flaws, I think her torso is too short, the arm is too short, and legs are too straight and rigit. Think of when you walk, do you ever keep your legs straight out? It's usually bend a little.
    And the girl's leaning backward.


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  7. #7
    Elwell's Avatar
    Elwell is offline Sticks Like Grim Death Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    I think this is a great idea with a lot of potential, so I took the liberty of showing you what I would change before taking it any further:

    Rotated the entire image slightly counterclockwise

    Made the zombie's head about 5% smaller

    Rotated her head slightly to the left and shifted it so it sat on her neck better

    Redrew the shape of her skull and neck

    shortened her nose and closed her mouth

    Made her right hand steadying her hat

    Redrew her left arm to correct anatomy/proportion and get more action into the pose

    Redrew her legs to emphasise the curves slightly and to get her left leg into the proper position



    Take it FWIW, but like I said, that's what I'd do.


    Tristan Elwell
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    Wow!! What an awesome idea!

    Is coming along very nicely. I like the changes you made to the bod. Can't wait to see this one when it's done!! What are your plans for it? Ink, paint,??

    Cobi

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    Hehe, I thought of all the changes I would suggest be made and scroll down to see elwell implement them... good job, really cleared up both poses, I agree 100%.

    I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more.
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    I think that original face is better because showing deeper feelings. Ellwels pose is good, but too hm... comertial.

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    I thought you might find this Gil Elvgren piece useful.




    Tristan Elwell
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    To quote a television show: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

    But, in all seriousness, your edit is really great, and I agree with a lot of your changes, I especially like the movement set up by the now-parallel arm positions. (they were the first things on my list) I also agree on the zombie's head. The big head had the wrong proportion to elicit "menace".

    I'm not so sure about the striding and the facial expression. (and by "not sure" I mean "not sure if it's the direction I want to go" not "not sure it looks good" because it does.) The look I was going for was summed up more by the phrase "Perhaps she should have bought the chihuahua instead...". My original goal was to capture the moment where walking your zombie becomes a Bad Idea, with the zombie more lunging off the page. Somewhere between brain and hand that idea got muddied. The Gill Elvgren shot captures that sort of thing, except without the cheesy B-movie angle that I was going for.

    As for the final treatment, I'm not sure. Part of me was thinking "Mucha line-art meets pin-up airbrush style" but that's starting to grate on my nerves, mostly because I find the things I try to do with that ending up rather sterile in a way. Once I inked it out I realized I'd like to go back and do the entire thing in pencil, then go back and give it a watercolor look with Photoshop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elwell
    I think this is a great idea with a lot of potential, so I took the liberty of showing you what I would change before taking it any further:
    Rotated the entire image slightly counterclockwise
    Made the zombie's head about 5% smaller
    Rotated her head slightly to the left and shifted it so it sat on her neck better
    Redrew the shape of her skull and neck
    shortened her nose and closed her mouth
    Made her right hand steadying her hat
    Redrew her left arm to correct anatomy/proportion and get more action into the pose
    Redrew her legs to emphasise the curves slightly and to get her left leg into the proper position

    Take it FWIW, but like I said, that's what I'd do.
    Now, un-seriously, I'm stuck because I rather like what you'd do, but I don't want to implement someone else's ideas... that's what I do at work [obnoxious winky face here] Now I have to get back to the desk and try and un-see all of your good work while remembering the gist of it for the changes that need to be made.

    Later I'll post small versions of the sketches that led up to this and everyone can discuss the awfulness of my technique.

    Last edited by olodumare; May 25th, 2005 at 06:42 PM.
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    Emplementing other's ideas is how people get better. Its sort of egomaniacle to think one can develop a completely unique style without other people's techniques rubbing off. Do what's best for a great picture, I say. Using a photo refference instead of sound drawn out advice isnt any more or less "stealing", its in equal measure simply forms of inspiration.

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    Ryanwh,
    That's exactly the answer I was looking for to the question I was trying to figure out how to frame. Thanks!

    And of course, thanks to everyone else, especially Elwell for the great ideas.

    (as an aside, my opening line to Elwell was said firmly tongue-in-cheek, because usually whoever says something like that knows they're full of crap and in denial)

    I'll post changes as it progresses.

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    Hi

    I totaly agree with ryanwh! And I think your piece is turning out great!
    Ceep posting I want more!


    Björn Silfverberg


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    Here's a .gif of all the phases it went through. I would include the last stages, but those are pretty much a direct jump from the last frame, off to the lightbox, and then to the sketch I posted.


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    take Elwell's suggestions on board, the linework is ok, the pose needs rehashing tho. good to see you posting your process sketches. look forward to the finished product

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    Elwell's Avatar
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    There are pitfalls to giving a detailed critique, especially an illustrated one, and one of them is that the original artist can feel like the work has been "taken away" from them at some level, and that if they take the suggestions the work is no longer fully theirs. But I saw so much that was almost working in this piece, along with so much evident struggle, that I thought the benefits outwayed the disadvantages. One thing I hope I've picked up over ten years of teaching is the ability to see what someone's intentions are in a piece, even if they're not coming through fully in the execution. Everything I did was simply a development of something that was already there in the original, taking things in the direction that, it seemed to me, the piece wanted to go. Like I said, it's what I would do if it were my picture. BUT IT'S NOT, so please, take what you find useful, disregard what isn't, and make it your own.

    P.S. I love that line from Mythbusters, and took it fully in the spirit in which it was intended.


    Tristan Elwell
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  19. #19
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    If she's taking the zombie for a walk. In my opinion she would be looking ahead at the ground, lest she fall and break a nail or something. I thing, she's paying too much attention to the zombie.

    I would try a version where she is just lookingg ahead with an aloof expression as if what she's doing is just every day stuff.

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