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Thread: The Pretender

  1. #1
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    The Pretender

    removed
    Last edited by Norwin; February 14th, 2007 at 04:09 PM.


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  3. #2
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    I think you ment "sea" instead of "see."
    "The proper rewards are not simply tacked on to the activity for which they are given, but are the activity itself in consummation." -C.S. Lewis
    "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." -Proverbs 12:1


    Help a CA artist! Visit the Constructive Critique section!
    -Cyrus' Sketchbook-

  4. #3
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    I think you meant "meant" instead of "ment".

  5. #4
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    I think you are right.
    -

  6. #5
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    Things flow along fairly well until "yelp". That stopped me like a two-dollar hooker. Since nothing else really rhymes, using it here, especially with a hard-ending word, stands out.

  7. #6
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    Thank you.
    I'll try to deal with something else in the last lines...


    Insane
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  8. #7
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    Warum muss es denn auf englisch sein ? o.O
    btw.: Von ner literarischen Seite isses seltsam...einerseits isses weinerlich andererseits nimmst du dir aber auch viel heraus wenn du sagst du seist ein besagter Tropfen Wahrheit o.O Ja watt denn nu ?
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilaekae
    "Art is the physical result of your soul battling with your intellect to the death...with a sharp pencil..."
    THE AUSTRIAN SKETCHLORDS
    Baron Carnifex
    Duke Corky

  9. #8
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    it's silent, not silently..

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