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Thread: 1 page comic

  1. #1
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    1 page comic

    What would make the visual storytelling stronger?
    What are the glaring errors?
    What skills should I focus on.
    What would improve the overall aesthetic?

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  3. #2
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    Get Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics and Making Comics. They're by far the best books on the subject that I've read in terms of comic history, theory, and techniques you can use to improve. My biggest issues with your page here have to do with scene transitions and panel composition. Right away, the close-up of the frog and the closeup if the man's face in panel 5 can be omitted entirely with very little change to the sequence. The tractor bleeding out into panel 7 is also pretty distracting, as it cuts the flow of actions. To me it looks more like you added it in just because it looked kinda cool. It doesn't really serve any practical purpose, other than maybe to show the scale of the machine. If that's what you were going for, there were different ways you could've drawn the scene that would've been just as effective.

    After looking at the page a bit longer, I deciphered that the native dude is supposed to be mixing some poison darts to shoot at the logger. That's not entirely clear in this page at a glance, and it's seriously hurting the readability of your scene. I don't really see the frog as a poisonous one, but that's in part due to there not being color. Maybe instead of the first panel with the leaf you could've had a big close-up of that frog that I omitted instead. Also, if he's mashing the frogs up in his bowl, why is one flying away like it's just been decked in the face?

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    EDIT: For the sake of clarity, the transition from panel 4 to 5 is too abrupt to me. Comics are a sequential medium, and pacing is every bit as important here.
    Last edited by MattyT; 2 Weeks Ago at 02:59 PM.

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  5. #3
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    You don't have to add so much detail everywhere. The fact that you drew that freaking bulldozer twice is badass though.
    Sketchbook

    The best way to hunt in a mushroom forest is to climb on the back of a butterfly.

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  7. #4
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    Well, when in doubt Exposit! Is it worse, now?
    thanks for the input. I’ll keep the transition abruptness in mind in the future.
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  8. #5
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    It's worse in some ways, to me. The most glaring thing is the text bleeding between panels in the upper right. You almost never see that in comics, and when it is done there's a specific reason. Right now it just looks sloppily handled. There really is no reason to have the text not contained within Panel 2 like everywhere else. In comics your text and your art need to work in tandem. I think the text is actually taking away from the point of your page by being too pseudo-philosophical. The readability in your first attempt had some issues, but the story came together on its own without narration after I took it in.

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  10. #6
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    Ok, I added a panel before the middle to help transition and I like the flow more.
    and I removed the exposition. Thank you Matty so much
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  11. #7
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    Thanks about the bulldozer. Drawing a machine in perspective was a definite objective!

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    Quote Originally Posted by dmal View Post
    Thanks about the bulldozer. Drawing a machine in perspective was a definite objective!
    Well, hell man. You don't need an excuse to draw machines. If that's the kind of stuff you like, just draw it. Focus your concentration and energy on producing a good machine drawing instead of bogging yourself down with having to come up with a whole universe. Are you familiar with Scott Robertson? Google his work. I don't think I've ever seen any human being drawings by that guy. ( I would love to. If anyone knows of any.)


    If you're still solidifying your understanding of perspective, you'll want to keep things not so complicated that you overwhelm yourself. Your brain just needs time to get it.
    Sketchbook

    The best way to hunt in a mushroom forest is to climb on the back of a butterfly.

  13. #9
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    I worked through Scott Robertson ‘s How To Draw a few ago. I’m trying to keep my perspective skills sharp by including machinery in all my comics. Scott roughs in people to show scale - i can’t remember he calls them but they look like upside down U shapes.

  14. #10
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    Bulldozer looks awesome, but other areas need work. The panel that bothers me the most is the last one, the guys arm looks weird, I think his elbow should be pointing towards us, rather than to the side.

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    Hello,

    In addition to what was said, comic pages can benefit a lot from the use of black to put some elements in evidence (due to contrast) and improve the readability of the page. That's something you could try with the background of some panels, and see if looks better.

    Some authors that ink nicely and create black and white panels that are readable and really interesting to look at (at least, to me) :

    -Ralph Meyer (his best black and white work is in "Undertaker")
    -Comics of Jean Giraud (also known as "Moebius")
    -Rosinski (in "Le Grand Pouvoir du Chninkel")
    -Frank Miller (Sin City, The Dark Knight Returns)
    -Milton Caniff
    -Will Eisner
    -Sean Murphy (in "Batman White Knight")

  16. #12
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    Bad to worse?
    Color needed to tell that frog was poisonous?

    I tried to correct the aboriginal’s hat arm.

    Would it be better if only the frog had color?
    This is an exercise in visual story telling and inking,
    so I have no direction on color...
    but I’ll still re-work it if somebody has any thoughts.
    Much gratitude to all who commented already.
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