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  1. #1
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    Marmalade Jane's Pool Hall

    New project! Working on Marmalade Jane's Pool Hall. Creating this for a friend of mine. She wanted a scene with some cats playing pool. The dog in the background is an old pet she used to have and thought it would be a nice touch to add her to the piece. As always comments and critiques are welcome
    Name:  MJPoolHall-RoughSketch.jpg
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  3. #2
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    At this late stage my advice is probably unwelcome, but examine the positioning of your figures. One is smack in the center of the image and there's a certain inauthentic quality of atmosphere caused by having the other figures symetrically grouped in twos on either side of the center figure.
    Sketchbook

    The best way to hunt in a mushroom forest is to climb on the back of a butterfly.

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  5. #3
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    Too many balls.


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  7. #4
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    @david_a_ray thank you for your feedback. This painting is still at an early stage so I was able to implement your suggestions. I moved the center figure forward and to the right, thus grouping the three characters on the right and the two on the left. This definitely improved the composition.
    @onemax I erased a few of the balls.

    Name:  MJs_UndergroundPoolHall-002.jpg
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  9. #5
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    It looks good, but the one thing I keep looking at is the cat on the left. Is there a reason he's looking at the camera? It doesn't fit with the scene as everyone else is preoccupied.

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  11. #6
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    The reason he is looking at the camera is that he is greeting whoever just walked up to the pool table. I figured it would be a good way to engage the viewer, but if its too distracting I can have him looking elsewhere.

  12. #7
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    it seems like you have just drag the previously centered character to the right but you need to change the proportions according to perspective.
    Doesn't seems to fit anymore.
    * sticks seems little bit too long but it depends on how tall they are.
    But that cat sit on the chair has a short stick.
    *cat at the far seems like too tall ..
    These are so tiny things.
    I'm not a master to critique things but I love reading them because It helps to learn

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  14. #8
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    Got the value underpainting started. Looking at it now I may need to go back and make a few slight adjustments, but my next step will be the value overpainting.
    Name:  MJs_UndergroundPoolHall-004.jpg
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  15. #9
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    Well, it took me a minute to get it done but here is the value painting for Marmalade Jane's Pool Hall. Depending on what happens with the Campfire here in Chico I may or may not be able to get the color version done soon.
    Name:  MJs_UndergroundPoolHall-004.jpg
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  16. #10
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    The fire didn't move into the city of Chico so I was able to knock out the color version.
    Name:  MJs_UndergroundPoolHal.jpg
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  17. #11
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    Your shadows look dirty, be a little more playful with colour.
    Grinnikend door het leven...

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  18. #12
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    You're not using color temperatures. Your current colors stay the same hue and only change value. This is what gives so many people's work that stale look. As your color changes value it also needs to change temperature. For example: green can warm to yellow or cool towards blue. Just keep the color wheel in the back of your mind. You'll need to make shadows less chromatic/saturated and areas in light more saturated as well.

    Edit: Now that I'm at home I've taken the liberty of tweaking your colors a bit. Remember this is all very much a matter of preference, but I think you're trying to show too much as detail in the scene and it weakens your image. I'd really hone in on your focal point and build the colors, values etc around that. Maybe blur it a bit in less important areas. This gives an added bonus of easy depth. I felt like emphasizing the cat's focus was important since he's the only one taking action. I also remember my own experiences playing pool and how the table sort of fills your vision with green bounced light. So I emphasized that as well. This allows you to have two colors. Green and yellow. These both mix well together and don't create any weird grays like green and purple might. Purple has red in it. Red doesn't mix well with green since they're opposites. I'll shut up now. I hope this of some use.Name:  tweak.jpg
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    Last edited by David_a_ray; 5 Hours Ago at 10:33 PM. Reason: added color tweakage
    Sketchbook

    The best way to hunt in a mushroom forest is to climb on the back of a butterfly.

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