Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    I need suggestions and criticisms

    I would like suggestions and criticisms for this work, I have not yet finalized, but I wanted to know what I can improve...

    Name:  NEFILIM 004.jpg
Views: 2028
Size:  189.0 KB


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    1,632
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 553 Times in 479 Posts
    Not bad.. The wing detail is pretty solid, but there are some larger issues.

    First being - the hands. They look avoided.. and I am not certain what is in that left hand.

    Next - metal being treated as spandex. Case in point - the legging armor and bust.

    I am not getting what the blue thing in center is.

    Consistent lighting is missing.. be it the spikes on the ball, the chain, the hair, etc.

    The shin guards are confusing. I am guessing the right one is not finished yet, but even that it is not pointed the right way or showing depth.
    My commentary is a gift to you.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    United States, TX
    Posts
    731
    Thanks
    66
    Thanked 377 Times in 286 Posts
    You've got a huge number of symmetry problems. I had a whole giant critique written pointing them out, but my internet decided to quit when I hit post so it's all gone. Basically, it looks good at a glance, but upon closer inspection the image is a jumble of anatomical and design flaws brought about by a lack of symmetry within the perspective of the piece.
    Sketchbook

    The best way to hunt in a mushroom forest is to climb on the back of a butterfly.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    thanks a lot for the criticism, I really feel a problem with the lighting as it was quoted, I'm having problems with some types of materials, while this lack of symmetry, how could I solve this problem? I really want to finish this piece more is beating me many frustrations, for the anatomical model I used a 3D model of the "design dolls" as a reference.

    Name:  022.JPG
Views: 1168
Size:  31.6 KB

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    1,632
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 553 Times in 479 Posts
    Lighting - pick a direction and source, and use it. Sometimes it may be helpful to add a locked layer with a ball of the light color you want and and arrow for it's direction.


    For other things think of arrows drawn out of them to where their 'forward' is.. like, say, the shin guards. Though that may help if you didn't lop off the feet. Seeing how the feet line up/point is important.
    My commentary is a gift to you.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    unknown
    Posts
    888
    Thanks
    91
    Thanked 500 Times in 400 Posts
    I want to address the lighting and composition.

    If you're doing contre jour lighting (sun behind) the subject cannot be as light as what's behind it. You want the sun to be setting behind the figure, so then what's lighting her face? definitely not the sun. Not saying it has to be black, but must be dark enough to separate. Your gradation in the sky also confuses it. I realize you are going for a vignette, where the darkened edge of the picture is supposed to frame the subject, but it's way too much.

    The other reason for my paint over is composition. I think good composition comes from strong shapes, and clear values. This composition can be reduced to a simple scheme with three separate values that looks like this. This is the graphic read which underlies the image.

    Name:  NEFILIM 0104.jpg
Views: 1031
Size:  12.5 KB


    In terms of finishing the piece as is, I think working on the edges would do a lot to make it more convincing. Too many cut out edges, like collaged pieces of paper, will make feel flat.

    Name:  NEFILIM3 004.jpg
Views: 1026
Size:  126.2 KB
    Name:  NEFILIM 0034.jpg
Views: 1019
Size:  124.7 KB
    I hope this communicates what I'm trying to say without too much explanation. Good luck!

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JoeCowan For This Useful Post:


  9. #7
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    42
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    I want to thank you for the help, I've explored the suggestions and tried to finish as best you can according to the tips, I came to this result.

    Name:  FOR FEED.jpg
Views: 767
Size:  104.4 KB

    this was the first version, I worked on an advanced version, already exploring some sketches, I have some doubts before moving forward, the way she is throwing the ball with thorns forward, some people warned me that the way the character is holding the weapon it does not make me feel this movement, but if I change the direction of the arm, I might damage the reading of the gesture, so I thought if she had thrown the gun forward and now she would be pulling the gun back.

    Name:  29.06.2018 - NEFILIM ADVANCED FEED2.jpg
Views: 767
Size:  177.3 KB

  10. #8
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    29
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
    I like these sketches a lot better than the first image, there is a lot more visual interest and more potential for composition.

    As far as the poses go, I would honestly suggest doing some research on flail weapons and the handling of them. Right now the pose looks like you simply switched out a generic sword for the flail and called it good.

    I also feel like your focusing on the "pretty" aspect of the pose and character a little to much. Don't be afraid to put her in a power pose, give her an imposing figure, if she's a bad ass make her look like one.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to asmith082010 For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Any criticisms would be appreciated
    By DDar in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: May 9th, 2011, 09:04 AM
  2. Criticisms from Professors
    By Serra in forum Art Discussions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: February 6th, 2008, 06:46 PM
  3. SketchBook: serious criticisms welcome
    By theGreek in forum Sketchbooks
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: October 16th, 2007, 01:45 AM
  4. I'll take any criticisms....please!
    By Learning2Draw in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: June 6th, 2007, 09:15 PM
  5. Gargoyle... I would like some criticisms
    By JapanEdit in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: February 16th, 2006, 08:38 PM

Members who have read this thread: 49

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Designed by The Coldest Water, we build the coldest best water bottles, ice packs and best pillows.