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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Critique and criticism is welcomed

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    Hello everyone. How are we? Hopefully long posts are OK...

    So, since my last post I learned a lot about the short comings of my art work. Thanks to some very helpful people on this forum,I learned these sets of rules that I've been following. Since then, I've been using them for every painting I've worked on. I won't say that these rules are the be all, end all of rules. But, they are a great source of reference. I think.

    1) A picture must work in thumbnail size
    2) Work around an idea, i.e. everything should help the main idea: each line, shape, detail
    3) Create depth by overlapping objects and introducing objects of different apparent size (to make it explicit that one object recedes in space compared to another), say a vase/weeds/rock very close to the viewer against a person in the midground (an extreme example):
    4) Most things in our visual field overlap, hence breaking this rule would make the picture look less realistic:
    5) Don't line things up:
    6) No two objects must be tangent to each other, i.e. their borders must not touch
    7) The more drastic the difference in value of overlapping shapes (black on white being the most extreme) the more attention they attract, becoming a center of interest:
    8) The lines in the picture must lead to the focal point (or at any rate help the picture):

    Someone also linked this helpful website too, if you're interested.

    So, all of that being said, I've come to share a recent painting for critique and criticism. Please, let me know what you think of it, or how you would improve on it. What would you change in it? Or if you think it looks good, then that's cool too.

    I have a few ideas of criticism, but I'll open the floor for now, and see what you guys think.
    Thanks for taking the time to read this

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Thanked 6,698 Times in 4,609 Posts
    You need to work on your lighting. Her head is top lit with the stars lighting her hair, but not the side of her nose or the star she's eating. The upper arm on the left is lit by the star, but not the rest?! I'm not sure what she is sitting in - pink grass or jagged clouds?

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Black Spot For This Useful Post:

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Thanked 42 Times in 37 Posts
    Good work on taking your studies seriously! This will pay off immensely moving forward.

    You did a nice job paying attention to your composition, and I think it's working well. I think Black Spot is getting at the fact that the colors aren't really working in your favor here. It can be really enticing to use neon, pastel, and ultra bright colors everywhere in a piece, and that seems logical for something like this, full of stars. But just like we don't want too much line information in an image, which is distracting, having too much light and saturation can be a little garish.

    I think this piece would benefit from desaturating a bit, especially in the areas away from the figure. I agree that the cloud shapes aren't really working. Maybe scrap that layer and try a different style of cloud or mist. Maybe find some pictures of clouds at twilight or sunset for reference. I would also lose the yellow stars around her head, and focus on making her hair a bit more interesting in terms of color and shadow. I'd like to see a bit more attention given to her skirt as well. It looks a little odd coming up at an angle like that. Her eye closest to the viewer is a bit too big. Her hands are a bit too blurry

    Really play with those colors, and good luck!
    Twitch: @LDogDraws
    Instagram: @eastghoster

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  7. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Thanked 547 Times in 458 Posts
    Good comments here so far. Work on lighting first. Sharpen edges on star that she has taken bite of as its would enhance story of bit
    Video about colors:

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  9. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Thanks for the comments everyone. I'll try to get back to fixing the painting, base on the comments, and replying to your messages individually later. I've been terribly busy lately.

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Hello. I am back with the changes that everyone has suggested.
    Starting with the lighting, I took out some of the stars around her head. I shrunk the yellow star on top of her head, and moved the position more to the top. idea is that, she is wearing it like a bow. I'm not sure if it comes off that way, but I hope the new size and position doesn't interfere with the lighting on the face. I tried to place the star in a position where the hair would be blocking the star's light, so that way it didn't reach the girl's face. If this still looks strange...then I suppose I could add some yellow light on the top of the nose and cheek. I assumed that the stars give off a week light and don't travel far. But, I don't know if light actually works that way.

    The other thing I did to fix the lighting, as well the saturation of the entire painting, is that I shrunk all the stars, desaturated them a bit, as well reduce their lighting. I wanted to have a compromise of keeping all of the colors without it being distracting. And I think it works. Though, I see the world differently, so maybe I am wrong haha...

    I fixed the clouds by making them more fluffy. They're suppose to be clouds, not grass haha...

    For making the hair interesting in terms of color and shadow...I'm not sure how. I just added new layers of paint to it since I removed the stars.

    Her skirt, might look strange, but I really like it. So I kept it Though, I did change the right side of her skirt a bit, to reflect the design on her left side (right side of painting). I'll post the girl's colorless design bellow to show what it originally looks like, and why I wanted to try to keep the design.

    I fixed the eye too, as well made her hands less blurry.I also sharpened the edges of the star that she took a bite of,

    As for the video, Stonec. I watched the video a few times before, and I watched it again after you mention it. I've been following Marco Bucci's art for a while now and I think he is pretty awesome. I have a long ways to go before I can reach his level though. I find that, despite following advice and teachings of others, I have a hard time implementing them for some reason. So if it feels like the changes that everyone hasn't suggested wasn't enough, then it's probably due to my lack of experience. I'll keep trying though.

    So, you guys think the painting looks better now? Also, thanks again everyone for the suggestions.

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  11. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Oops. Sorry about the giant pic of the colorless picture. I thought I deleted it.

    Also, here is a side by side comparison for easy viewing.
    Attachment 2290861

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