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  1. #1
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    Jump practice - Vampy Lady

    Hi friends, looking for some feedback. Hoping for response to overall design mostly.

    Thanks in advance!

    Jump practice - Vampy Lady
    Twitch: @LDogDraws
    Instagram: @eastghoster


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  3. #2
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    That white background isn't really favoring your values there, I think.

    By overall design I'll consider you mean just the character concept. Correct me if I'm wrong.

    First, nice job with the pose. The anatomy looks mostly convincing for this stage. The hair looks very nice, movement and all.

    Here are some thoughts:
    • She has a rather apathetic expression for someone jumping in the wind;
    • Those spikes on the upper part of her staff/lantern looks like could hurt her hand rather than keeping her safe. Weapon guards usually work the other way around;
    • Can't really tell if that shape on the bottom part of her staff is some sort of feathery dragon twirling around the rod. It would be pretty cool if it was. You could define it a bit more;
    • Boots look very blocky and uninteresting;
    • Her dress could use a little more detail. Vampires usually dig embroiders and rather fancy looking ornaments. Maybe some undergarment. I don't know;
    • I don't get why her necklace cord is so wiggly. It implies that she is reaching the peak of a jump, but the hair and dress doesn't follow that. I'd tune the cord movement quite a bit;
    • I can tell the rendering of secondary light coming from the staff on her dress went sideways;
    • There's something wrong with her left thigh. It looks extremely long if you trace it back to the hip, behind the other lag;
    • Head and neck looks a smidge bigger than it should;


    Hope it helps.
    "There're no lines in real life" / Is this a sketchbook? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  4. #3
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    @pilgo Thanks for the crit! I made a few subtle changes that seem to make a big difference in my eye. I'll be coming back to this, cleaning it up, adding in more details to the dress and solidifying the design of the staff.

    Her expression is a little different, but maybe still too passive?
    Name:  jumpstudy revise.jpg
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  5. #4
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    It's still a bit too passive to me at least. It would help to know what you have in mind for her to be doing there. She could be actually floating and not jumping, as you suggested on your title. Then the apathetic face wouldn't be out of place.

    I'm not sure that hard, grainy, brush you're using is adding much to the picture. Seems a bit weird.

    The buckles on the side of the boot look nice. But I don't get the little detail on the front. It looks a bit like crystals attached to them. I think you could define a bit more the sole and maybe different leather patches that were sewed together to make it and stuff. Maybe check some references to get ideas.

    About the proportion, I did a little scheme to show what I'm talking about:
    Name:  JumpVampire.jpg
Views: 487
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    I'm considering these proportions as correct: http://www.proko.com/wp-content/uplo...-Chart-800.jpg

    So it seems there're some inconsistencies there. If that's irrelevant and you only wish to focus on character design, please, disregard.
    "There're no lines in real life" / Is this a sketchbook? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  6. #5
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    With her upper body and face pointed towards the viewer and her legs turned almost in profile, it feels like these are two separate drawings combined. The top half is more akin to a static character sheet, where as the legs are an action illustration.

  7. #6
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    Ok, lots of food for thought here. Thanks for the great feedback @pilgo and @InfernoKing. I decided that the pose is just a little too forced, and that I'm going to cut it up and redraw it. The reference I used also has a very straight upper body and serious, apathetic face. But perhaps that just makes for a boring illustration. Also, I kind of just threw the staff in there because the pose invited it, but I think it looks a bit out of place and awkward.
    Name:  jump.jpg
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    This is the fun transform experiment I'm going to move forward with. Trying to bring in some more dynamism to the pose.
    . Name:  jumpstudy cutup.jpg
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  8. #7
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    Ah yeah, a bad reference will do that to you. Many years ago I spent hours on a drawing of a woman winding up to strike with an iron pipe. When I showed it to a friend, they said "it looks like she's just posing, she's not actually doing it". And yep, that's exactly what my reference looked like too. Her body language was too relaxed because her job was to make reference photos for artists and she was probably bored after doing 20 similar shots.

    I now try and avoid stock photography/artist reference websites and stick to real action photos instead. Alternatively, take my own photos because I can feel exactly how much force I'm using and how that really looks.
    Sketchbook (last updated June 20th, 2018)

  9. #8
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    I would relax her back leg , makes for a better gesture imo

    Jump practice - Vampy Lady

  10. #9
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    Your rough update has a lot more life in it. Making the arm holding the trident stiffer would give her a better attitude in that she means business.

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