Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Red face Bloomin' feedback

    Hi there, fellow artists!

    Yesterday I've finished this illustration of a cheerful cheerleader, fairly simple one done in between the studies.
    It is finished and I kinda enjoy it and that doesn't happen too often.
    Even though it's finished, I still would love to hear some feedback on it so I can spots some mistakes I was unable to see and keep them in mind for the future.


    Name:  final.jpg
Views: 1046
Size:  193.4 KB

    Thanks in advance, have a nice day and thanks for lookin' here! ^_^


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,946
    Thanks
    933
    Thanked 980 Times in 838 Posts
    Hiya Mate

    First off it made me laugh out loud so it works fine as it is!
    looking in more detail there are things you can chip away at for the future.

    Even though she is a cartoon the anatomy has to obey the correct conventions and her trailing leg is a little off.
    Her hair bunches, pony tail side things are off, one is on the side of her head and the left one is coming off the back.
    Her smile isn't quite right and I couldn't tell you why! it has me foxed. is it the eyes (possibly) angle of the mouth? not sure if i'm honest but it seems off.
    The other thing is the arch of her back or line of action isn't selling the leap!

    Sorry if that all seems negative but you did ask mate!!
    I hope it helps a little
    Last edited by Lightship69; April 5th, 2018 at 06:23 AM.
    A great kind hearted lumbering bullock



    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209918 = my Sketchbook

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lightship69 For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    290
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 212 Times in 129 Posts
    Fun illustration.

    The medium-shadow areas of her white shirt are a little close to the values of the sky the edges get a little lost.

    The issue I'm seeing with the mouth/face is the cheek asymmetry.
    On the side of the head closest to us she has no cheek, but the other side away from us is much fuller like she has an invisible jawbreaker stuffed in there; there's also the overlap of the edge of the top lip over the cheek. This wouldn't be as noticeable in flat color 2d cartoon style, but I think because you've added the 3-dimensionality shading it stands out more.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to InfernoKing For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Those are the mistakes I was talking about! Thank you, guys!

    I would't have noticed the fact that one of her ponytails is missplaced If you didn't tell me. That will really sting me in the eye from now on, but at least I will double check it in the future.
    I am also note down that I need to push my lines of action a bit more.
    And yes, the assymetry of the cheek may cause it to look weird. I actually did it kinda on purpose to make it more catroony and exaggerate some shapes more, but it really looks better on paper without all the shading.
    I will keep that in mind for the next time! ^_^

    Oh and no worries about the so called 'negativity', Lightship.
    Pointing out mistakes is not being rude or negative unless you do it in a rude and douchy way, so no worries. I am not a one that gets offended when his art gets criticised.
    Playing offended primadonna is just plain dumb!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to AigorWoz For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,946
    Thanks
    933
    Thanked 980 Times in 838 Posts
    Glad you take it that way! some don't and just want ass pats and well done you!
    they will find that if and when they get clients that crits are hard and you have no choice but act on them, also clients always want that bit more.

    if you are going for cartoony children's illustration then I would recommend a book called "Cartoon Animation" by Preston Blair
    or even just look him up on the interweb! The line of action thing and selling the movement are all covered in the book with smack you in the face examples, ha ha ha it has helped me and still does.

    best wishes with the work mate!
    A great kind hearted lumbering bullock



    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209918 = my Sketchbook

  10. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,946
    Thanks
    933
    Thanked 980 Times in 838 Posts
    This bouncy pose is bothering me! so I did one quickly and I think its my own preference for her face that is throwing me off.
    I automatically did the full beaming smile and eyes shut thing what do you think is this any better just for future reference and a discussion.
    Name:  cheerleader.jpg
Views: 796
Size:  56.7 KB
    I did the arch of travel and the line of action first then did her head and the cross over it to mark the middle of her face, then put her body together with shapes and tubes that's how she came out at the end and it seems to make more sense to me personally.
    However there is an element of personal preference here, which is worth bearing in mind for future Crits! you don't have to take it on board. It is quite advisable to say "No" thanks but this is the direction I am going in with this. A lot of what you get here is personal preference, dont get me wrong some is total magic! but some isn't and its up to you to decide what to take from it!

    I am looking forward to seeing some more from you buddy! see ya around the forum! lol
    A great kind hearted lumbering bullock



    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209918 = my Sketchbook

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Lightship69 For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Poland
    Posts
    22
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Thank you! Quick visual presentation like this is always helpful.
    I indeed prefer my own aproach to the face, because even though it makes less sense and has tons of room for improvement, it is exaggerated more and exaggeration is what I like a lot.
    Still it's worth looking at a different take on the subject!

    And yeah, I've heard good things about this book from multiple sources now and it is on my 'to buy' list next to Gottfried Bammes' anatomy book.

Similar Threads

  1. Feedback, please!
    By JMCoburnArt in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: November 20th, 2015, 08:34 PM
  2. hello - asking for feedback :)
    By spyshagg in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: June 5th, 2010, 01:01 AM
  3. Looking for some feedback!
    By Bakerman in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: July 23rd, 2008, 01:29 AM
  4. Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 4th, 2006, 05:04 PM
  5. SketchBook: Those Bloomin' Sketches
    By ShamrockSpecial in forum Sketchbooks
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: July 9th, 2004, 04:40 PM

Members who have read this thread: 37

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Developed Actively by the makers of the Best Amazon Podcast