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  1. #1
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    FINISHED! Vyleshi Razormonger

    UPDATE: FINAL BELOW!

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    Hey CA!

    Working on a new piece, going for a Magic: the Gathering card style here. The concept is a mercenary from a raptor-esque race obsessed with blades and weapons. Really want to emphasize the viciousness of this guy as he tears apart his enemies. Setting I was thinking nighttime in either a temple or a forest, mainly because I like the lines.

    Critiques, paintovers, etc all welcome. Thanks in advance friends, really looking to push myself on this one!
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  3. #2
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    Its too soft, I suggest you to work it bit more but are you using reference??? Also you could do some anatomical studies (human and lizards)
    Last edited by stonec; March 18th, 2018 at 06:42 PM.

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  5. #3
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    Why is everything semi transparent lines?
    My commentary is a gift to you.

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  7. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by stonec View Post
    Its too soft, I suggest you to work it bit more but are you using reference??? Also you could do some anatomical studies (human and lizards)
    Yes, am using references, but I agree, it's too soft to see, hopefully this should be better

    Quote Originally Posted by modi123 View Post
    Why is everything semi transparent lines?
    Because it's a terrible sketch and it's way, way too big to look like anything

    Aaaaan now here's something we should be able to work with. Sorry for the messy sketch before, not enough time to refine it before posting. I did a quick lineart overlay and some basic values and colors. Overall I like where it's going but would love more feedback. Thanks!

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    That tail needs some work. Is it just growing out of one hip/back, or is it more centered above the butt? I would think the hip/butt could be seen in front of the tail and not part of the tail.


    I don't get how the blade sliced the far neck of the bottom left guy.


    The hair on the head seems.. weird. As in the direction it is implying is not on the head, but up and too the right of the head.


    Two more meta issues. First - I can't tell what color this character would fall in. Red? Black?


    Second - I don't remember a MTG card being this bloody and violent. If you were thinking of containing yourself to 'MTG style' then i would poke around and read up on their style guides and what not.
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  10. #6
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    You should check basic forms for construction, look here and do these exercises http://drawabox.com/

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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by modi123 View Post
    That tail needs some work. Is it just growing out of one hip/back, or is it more centered above the butt? I would think the hip/butt could be seen in front of the tail and not part of the tail.


    I don't get how the blade sliced the far neck of the bottom left guy.


    The hair on the head seems.. weird. As in the direction it is implying is not on the head, but up and too the right of the head.


    Two more meta issues. First - I can't tell what color this character would fall in. Red? Black?


    Second - I don't remember a MTG card being this bloody and violent. If you were thinking of containing yourself to 'MTG style' then i would poke around and read up on their style guides and what not.
    Solid points Modi. The tail/hip junction is being hidden behind the handle of his thigh knife, which I will change as it hurts the readabilty of the anatomy. The head feathers are also not right, I'm trying to figure out the best was to do them. Maybe I'll ditch them for a frill lizard deal instead? We'll see. I was definitely considering this a "red" card, and I'm planning on redoing his color scheme to something more fitting to hopefully make it work. As for the violence, MTG does have some pretty brutal stuff (see "Macabre Waltz", "Victim of Night", "Thought Scour", "Price of Knowledge", etc), but I can see this being a little bloodier than most. I'm considering swapping out these generic elf things for something a little more unique, maybe something with dark blue blood? We'll see how it plays out.

    Thanks for the feedback, I'll update soon!
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  13. #8
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    Update time! Worked through most of the rendering on the characters (ended up changing the poor victims to something more original), still have to tackle the burning temple background and finish the detailing on the front guy. I also ended up ditching the feather/hair, which looked weird, and opted for a rad neck frill and spikes. For the most part we're getting pretty far along. Hopefully I addressed everything so far!

    Thoughts and feedback welcome.

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    FINISHED!

    At least I think it is. Would definitely welcome any critiques at this point, I always have the hardest time knowing when a piece is "done" and if it needs pushing or not. Thanks!


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    Too many high detail particles all over the place is making it look really grainy. Pick a few key spots and then soften out the rest.
    Sketchbook (last updated June 20th, 2018)

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  19. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by octopuscats View Post
    Too many high detail particles all over the place is making it look really grainy. Pick a few key spots and then soften out the rest.
    Good catch. I blurred a lot of the background noise and overlays, also blurred the front guy just slightly. Hopefully makes it look a lot less flat and a lot more focused.

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    Quote Originally Posted by stonec View Post
    This is a cool idea. I'll have to play with it and see if I like it. I'd experimented with a radial blur early on but I felt like I was losing too much of the detail in the front guy and the back guy.
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    It's actually really good. I would keep at it. you defnitely have potential. Im gonna have to agree with what others have said and say that you should focus maybe on using a reference. Maybe use a lizard face for example.

    again though your conceptual skills are fantastic.

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    I wanted to come in and try giving a second critique
    because I saw some more things that you might
    consider:


    I feel like there is too much competition going on
    with the main subject.


    for example it looks like the foreground guy is
    too detailed, and the background is a little too……
    “detailed” isn’t the right word, but like i said it just feels like its
    competing with he lizard guy too much.

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  24. #15
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    Good feedback @Jyou, I took another pass at a value study and did some more tweaking, pushing the background back and blurring it slightly, blurring/darkening the front guy slightly, increasing the contrast of the key elements and other minor tweaking. Also added a little motion blur as suggested by @stonec I think it reads a lot better now and the central figure is now definitely the focus.

    As for the lizard face, I actually did a paintover of a velociraptor from Jurassic Park, but I'm guessing the metal mask is obscuring it. Might not be something I can fix at this stage.

    Thanks everyone for your help!
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    Last edited by Dread_Reaper; April 16th, 2018 at 04:14 PM.
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    I think if you started with a nice line drawing first, and planned everything out properly in perspective this could be so much better. You spent too much time on rendering and too little time on planning.

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  27. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anton Juntunen View Post
    I think if you started with a nice line drawing first, and planned everything out properly in perspective this could be so much better. You spent too much time on rendering and too little time on planning.
    I don't entirely disagree on the "too much time rendering too little time planning" comment. Perhaps you could be more specific on the perspective issues you noticed so I can incorporate them in later works? Thanks!
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    I feel like the rendering is way over worked. Also, the composition itself leads to my eyes darting all over the page not sure what I'm supposed to be looking at. Like, I just scrolled away and back a few times and when I go back to it my eyes literally roll around in circles when I look at it. Also, the lighting, its unfortunate that you chose the classic rim lighting on the main guy. A lot of Magic card characters have really unique lighting, which makes them stand out and be more pleasing to the eye.

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  30. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dread_Reaper View Post
    I don't entirely disagree on the "too much time rendering too little time planning" comment. Perhaps you could be more specific on the perspective issues you noticed so I can incorporate them in later works? Thanks!
    What I mean by perspective issues is that everything is a bit flat and it doesn't feel 3d. For example you could have played a lot with foreshortening, especially in the tail and the arms, to create depth in the picture.

    But the amount of rendering indicates that you have lot's of patience, if you would spend as much time on thumbnailing and sketching in your future pieces I'm sure they'd be great.

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    you're welcome @Dread_Reaper :3

    also thank you @Anton_Juntunen for that comment i believe that is my problem as well on my most recent painting now that i think about it. creating a sense of depth really is hard isn't it

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