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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
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    Review my Statement of Intent

    This is my statement of intent for SVA, and any other college that may require one.

    I still remember when I was seven years old, and I read my first comic. Well, more specifically it was read to me. By my dad. It was the fourth issue of the 1980s Marvel Secret Wars maxiseries. You know the one with hulk on the cover, holding up an entire mountain. Yeah, that one. I remember seeing the cover as my dad pulled it from the long box, the scope and size of the mountain juxtaposed against this small, green form, almost flattened to the bottom of the picture plane. The sheer sense of scale, the emotion, theÖ Everything. Suffice it to say, I begged my dad to read it to me, and he did. I donít remember much of the story, other than that the Hulk somehow ended up stuck between a rock and a hard place. But, it awoke something inside of me, something more powerful than the Hulkís renowned temper, it awoke the passion to create. And I knew from that day on, that I wanted to be an artist. But not just any artist, no, I wanted to create comics.

    Bit of a boyís pipe dream, right? Thatís what I thought too. So, imagine my surprise when, in seventh grade, my teacher spies me doing a little comic on a sheet of printer paper, and says ďHey, thatís pretty good, you want to hang that in the upcoming art show?Ē My eyes widened, and my mouth hung open, but before I could answer I got slapped with two days suspension for disorderly conduct, and missed the submission date for the art show. Tough, I know. When I came to him later to apologize for missing the date, he shared with me some information that, while not life changing, certainly lit a fire in my engine. He told me about a school called The School of Visual Arts. I only half listened for most of his lecture; this wasnít the first time a teacher tried to sell a school to me. But something caught my little peach fuzzed, barely post pubescent attention, the mention of a Cartooning major. My mind raced, cartoonists? Like Kirby, like Wrightson, like that weird French guy with the stone birds? That limp little dream that I kept out of public view (for fear of being shamed) was suddenly animated and made a reality. Finally, a school where I could pursue my dream!

    And that brings me to the present. Iíve worked my ass off, so much so that I am nearly assless, to get myself to where I need to be. I know the road ahead of me will be rough and fraught with hardship, and Iím ready for it. Iíve endure more than a 500-word limit can say. Iím ready to face SVA, to face the city, the work load, and everything else that can be thrown at me. Hell, Iím ready to face the world, and say loud and proud: I am a comic book artist.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Thanked 485 Times in 390 Posts
    I like it! It's very simple in concept and easy to read. I don't know much about the judgement of such things, as in I don't know how a school would react to this.
    It does need to be proofread for English conventions. Word choice, sentence structure, capitalization/punctuation etc. etc.

    My impression is that it's personal without being uncomfortable, however it might be a little too honest. Personally, I wouldn't include that you were suspended from school for disorderly conduct. That makes you look bad, even if it was like 5 years ago. And maybe using expressions like 'worked my ass off until I was assless' and this use of the word hell is a little too casual for a college admission essay. I mean, I think it's funny, but I'm not the one mailin' the acceptance letters.

    I also appreciate the use of anecdote to open the essay, but it's worth considering that the first paragraph could be simplified to "Ever since I was 7 and begged my dad to read me Marvel comics from the 80's, I've known I wanted to be a comic artist". I KNOW that's super lame and boring and everyone does it, so I'm not saying you should write that. But my point is you only get 500 words, so you should really make them count. If I were an admissions dude, I might want to hear less about the Hulk, and more about how you worked your ass off since then.

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  5. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Thanked 534 Times in 464 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by MrSandman View Post
    [...]I’ve worked my ass off, so much so that I am nearly assless,[...]
    Make sure to include a variant of this meme to accent this point. Nothing complements a super duper informal - barely above a facebook post - ramble than a meme about a butt falling off.

    Review my Statement of Intent
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