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  1. #1
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    fcuk the police!

    i just got a citation tonight, for going 19 mph over the speed limit, at like half past midnight.

    if this interferes with my pre-trial diversion, i'm kinda thoroughly screwed.

    anyone have any good cop stories? i'm just kinda in a pissed off state of mind, i want to hear something funny... damnit i hate the police.
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  3. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by bizarre
    i just got a citation tonight, for going 19 mph over the speed limit, at like half past midnight.

    if this interferes with my pre-trial diversion, i'm kinda thoroughly screwed.

    anyone have any good cop stories? i'm just kinda in a pissed off state of mind, i want to hear something funny... damnit i hate the police.

    I'm a 911 dispatcher (police, fire, medical, answer 911 phone lines and non emergency poilice phone lines) So I hear people say that stuff all the time.. Don't go 19 over if you dont want a ticket... They're just doing thier job.

  4. #3
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    I have a relative that's a cop....and his son is one of the biggest trouble makers in town. Always behind the stories in 'The Police Beat' in the local paper.

    Harmless stuff....moving someone's giant trampoline into a field at night.
    Dismantling a fence(no nails...just hanging planks)
    Once even for tossing deck chairs into his own pool in the middle of the night.

    Anyone with any information related to the events is asked to contact the police hotline, lol.
    A lot of the guys at work do stuff to get in there too.
    All harmless pranks, I assure you.
    But the cops around here would have nothing to investigate if it weren't for the likes of them!

    I mean, I guess they could crack down on all the pot smoking that goes on...but that'd probably be kinda hypocritical of 'em.

    -Rob
    My Sketchbook
    Encouragement keeps me swimming , even in the undertow of disappointment.

  5. #4
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    When I was in college, people used to try all kinds of stuff to get into police beat. You know, kidnap a duck and put it in someone's dorm room--that kind of stuff.
    Then the police announced that they weren't going to report "pranks" anymore. They wanted to take away the incentive of getting your prank published in the paper.
    I guess that was a good decision, but it took away some of our fun reading!

    emily

  6. #5
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    When I first moved to Portland in November I was walking around downtown in an area locally known as "Crack Alley" (I didn't know that until several months later) and I noticed a patrol car was trailing two guys down the street. The officer in the car was speaking to the men over the loudspeaker, heckling them, saying things like "Oh, that's not suspicious at alllll, you're just out for a stroll with the most well known crack dealer in Portland, very nice, perrrrrfectly innocent!" And then he drove off.

    I was wildly entertained.

  7. #6
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    lol. On the USM campus we have a giant wooden Rhino and at least once a year in our school newspaper's police report you can read about people caught having sex in it... Despite the fact that's it's supposedly the home of a raccoon.

  8. #7
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    One time I almost got a drunk in public.. me and a couple of friends were walking over from the party to another friends house. This other guy we were partying with decided he was going to go carhopping (unbeknownst to us) and steal all kinds of stupid crap like pens and cassette tapes out of people's cars in the neighborhood. So we're walking back and we see all kinds of cop lights down by the party and I'm all like "we should probably not walk back" and my other two friends are like "nah its all good we're not doing anything wrong." So we walk up there and sure enough get flashlights in our faces, and too make a long story short they started give us breathalizers.

    Well my first friend somehow managed to blow a .00 even though he had drank just as much as us. My second friend thought " oh maybe the breathalizer is busted " and fails miserably and ended up going to jail . So they ask me to take it and I say "So what happens if I refuse to take the breathalizer test, you know, what are the consequences?" and the cop is all like "Either you're gonna take it or you're not gonna take it." To which I say, "Yeah but I just want to know, y'know, if I dont take it is there any consequences for that?" and then in a typical cop style he says, "I'm not going to play hypothetical games with you, boy! You going to take it or not?". Then I said, "Nah I'm not taking it" and he told me to go sit back down. Then I got to go home with no charges or anything.

    Oh and the carhoppin guy who brought in the cops in the first place took a hardcore jab to the face by one of the neighbors and ended up puking alcohol and blood into the ditch. But he didnt get in any legal trouble.

    I found out about this a couple of years later, recommend this ACLU bustcard to everybody - http://www.aclu.org/RacialEquality/R...ID=10626&c=133
    "What to do if you're stopped by the police", print em out, its walletsized give em to your friends.
    Cave House Studios - creative animation and video
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  9. #8
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    in my home town, the annual prank was to kidnap the plastic ronald mcdonald statue from mcdonald's playland and then have him show up somewhere else later....

    the best one ever and one that got the most police action, he was placed on top of the press box of the college football stadium. someone spotted him standing up there right on the edge...called in a "jumper." all the cops rolled out and skerred the shit out of me and my girl cuz we were 'parking' nearby. fortunately they didn't care about us - it was all about the jumper.

    they tried talkin him down at like 1 am until they could get an actual spotlight and shine it on him...big yella overalls, red hair, clown face, plastic. hahaha oh my god it was funny. i think those hick cops wanted to shoot it then, but there were too many people who had come out of the dorms because of the flashing lights and bull horns begging the big plastic ronald mcdonald not to jump. of course, if my ass had to stand in a freakin playground all day while crumbsnatchers and poopmachines swung from my arms and birds pooped in my hair .. and I gotta smiiiiile that big fake smile the whole time...I'd freakin try to kill myself too.

    but i'd use a gun.

    maldrin
    d a v i d p i n e

    ONLY CONNECT.

  10. #9
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    OMG! lmao

    Thanks Maldrin, that hurt my sides.

    I don't mind cops, wanted to be one as of last year. Most of em are good guys doin' their work. I know several.
    Motivation...gone.

    Sketchbook be here...

  11. #10
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    About two years ago I got pulled over by a nazi pig myself. I was coming home from work after doing the night shift. My street is a school zone so you can only drive 15 mph when the school zone traffic light is flashing. Anyway while heading home a cop car heading in the opposite direction passed me by then turned around and came after me. By the time he caught up to me I was already in my driveway with the engine off. This asshole pulled into my driveway and gave me a speeding ticket right in front of my house. He said I was doing 35 in a 15.

    I was so pissed off that I fought the ticket and won. Turns out that the normal speed limit on my street was 30 mph and ONLY 15 when the school light is flashing. I was home by 7:30 am and the school light doesn't come on until 8:00. I took photographs of the light and the sign above the light which says "When Flashing". I presented my case and evidence in court and made the cop feel real stupid. He apologized to me and said he never knew that sign was there. He dropped the charge and I walked out without paying a dime. I later found out that police radar only works when their car is stationary. So this guy just made up the whole story of me speeding because he had nothing else to do at 7 am. I'm so glad I didn't have to pay that ticket or I really would've been pissed.

    Lesson, never let a moving police car tell you how fast you're going unless he's behind you. Also if you're ever on the highway and you see a state trooper flying down the road well over the speed limit without his lights or siren on, get right behind him and match his speed. They can't give you a speeding ticket if they're also speeding without cause. They may try and change lanes and let you fly by then pull you over but before that happens just slow down.

  12. #11
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    I don't know what state you are in, but in CA, if there is no traffic, good weather, and your not in a neighborhood, you can EASILY fight that one. We actually have a law that gets you off the hook if you are speeding "a bit" over the limit on freeways and open roads..(as long as the road conditions are "safe")
    And if you have a clean record..that cop won't even waste his time showing up for court.
    "If one advances confidently in the direction of
    his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he
    has imagined, he will meet with a success
    unexpected in common hours."
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  13. #12
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    One day while slightly speeding (read 65 in 55) I got pulled over by a rather nice cop. He takes my license and runs me, then begins to write the ticket. Then he comes up to my car and actually tell me this crap, "Sorry, I did not notice that it was your birthday today until I started writing the ticket out. So I had to write it anyways, but I made it for as little as I could." Still turned out to be about $150.

    Another one I got was going 27 in a 25, through a school zone, which kicked the ticket up to about $320. That was a lot of fun.

    By the by, I support the police and the job that they do. I have the utmost respect for a good cop that does not abuse his power and is willing to do one of the most honorable jobs I can think of, putting his/her life on the line to protect me. So while I support the idea of this thread and the great stories in it, I take heavy objection to the title of it.

  14. #13
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    I like the ideas of cops in general and most are overworked/underpaid, but,

    I get the polar reverse of you Guys, many times I get cherry lighted for not accelerating as fast as youd think I should, even though I drive at or below the posted SPEED limit! Drives me nutz.

    Once this cop asks, you been drinking sir, I said just sprite and eating bratwurst/onions. He let me go after smelling my food in my mouth.

    Another time got warned for weaving, I said it twas cos that 18 wheeler was going to bum rush me, the Trooper said he did not notice the speeding trucker or how close he got to me. duh!

    Well I could go on but to what end?

  15. #14
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    me and my friends ran over a cop once with a car. it was a grand funny thing to behold-c36

  16. #15
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    Back in 7th grade, me and my brother each had a scooter (Like a moped, without the peddles). We decided to race in a parking-lot that belonged to a abandoned movie theater. A cop pulled in and said that we were going 35mph in a 10mph zone. He said that he was going take away the scooters because we were driving recklessly, we were illegally driving a vechile under the age of 16 and that he was going to suspend our ability to obtain a driver's lisence until we were 18. We told our mom about it, she called the police station and chewed out the cop, and no actions were taken against us.

  17. #16
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    In my young, wild days of hardcore drunken abondon I had many, many run-ins with the police. One of my fondest memories is from a party back in '89. I was hanging out at a buddies apartment drinking obscene amounts of cheap beer. Somewhere around the 3 a.m. part of the night everyone started to leave. After everyone was gone my buddy and I slammed a few more beers and decided to walk to the all-night restaurant about a block away.

    Lucky us... we come stumbling in, loud and extremely obnoxious... only to see the three largest tables in the place filled with on-duty cops grabbing some coffee. Being the subtle person that I am I decided to stop and say 'hello' to the entire gang. Fortunately, I have always had decent people skills and the cops were really cool to us (they even laughed at something I said... too hazy to remember what it was though).

    We ate, drank coffee, and decided to go back to the apartment and finish off what was left of the beer. The cops were still present (must have been a slow night) at the front of the restaurant. Shortly after leaving I realized that I had to take a leak REALLY bad and it simply could not wait. We were walking along the curb of an off-ramp with the road to our left, and a cluster of trees to our right. I decided to step off and do my business against one of the trees.

    As I stood swaying and taking care of my business my buddy starts urgently calling my name from the road.... I turned around (still doing my business) just in time to see THREE cop cars come to a roaring stop right next to my friend. One of them turned the spotlight on me and I waved. My friend said he heard the cop say 'jeezus christ' just before he took off again. The other two cops followed suit... leaving me to finish my work! My buddy laughed his ass off all the way back to his apartment and made it a point to bring that story up at every opportunity.

    -SJ
    I didn't do it.

  18. #17
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    Forgot to mention one of my classier moments in history. It was my 21st birthday celebration at a friends house, and for one reason or another I decided to head down to the local bar and steal a vinyl sign from the front. So I grab the sign and start running, as soon as I round the corner there is a cop car slowly approaching me. He askes what the hell I am doing and I told him that it was my birthday and I just stole this sign in my hands. He asks if I have been drinking and I said "oh yeah" so he asks if that is why I stole the sign, "Yup." He goes ahead and puts me in cuffs and into the back of his car were we proceed to chat it up for a while, he was a damn funny guy. He also explained what a bunch of his equipment was and why or where he uses it. Once his backup arrives he goes into the bar and talks to the owner and gets me off the hook. Then he comes back out, tells me I am free to leave, and just for my birthday he gives me the sign back to impress my friends with.

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