My situation in short: I am 23, studying graphic design, but my main interest is designing characters and illustrating.
Thanks to college, I am almost completely broke. I have this job at a small IT company, but it's not full time and sometimes months pass without any work to do. I've always wanted to be an artist, to create, to be the best. Could be just special snowflake syndrome, but I've believed that this is what I am meant to do.
But here's the thing: when I tell people about concept art, they don't even know what I am talking about. In the country I live, gaming companies are shutting down one by one. The graphic designer community is so aloof, it's impossible to get in unless you are someone's friend.
So it seems inevitable for me to get work out of my field... and this horrifies me, because what if I will get stuck in a shitty, boring job and I will slowly lose my skills, my interest for art... dude I rather chop off my arms right now.
I am not even sure what the hell could I work... I like drawing and writing, and that's all! I'm not good for anything else. Seriously, I have no other skills. In addition, I get anxious from almost everything... speaking with people, going to a new place... it's not really helping.
In the future, I don't want to be a person who looks at some really awesome artist's work and thinks "this could be me... this could be my work... but I gave up."
So I am miserable right now. If I have to give up art, I will be even more miserable. Because without my art, I am just a sarcastic, disillusioned woman trying to shut up her feelings with chocolate and mirelit pizza.