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Thread: Critique needed

  1. #1
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    Critique needed

    Hi guys. I wanted to make the attached image into a potential portfolio piece. I know it needs a lot of work at the moment but I have got plenty of time to improve it so fire away

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  3. #2
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    There is too many things that needs to be fixed to be said in a single post, but the biggest thing imo is you need to study composition. Whats the focal point? Why is the image chopped into triangular chunks? Why is the bottom character cut off mid body? Also the amount of black in this piece is an issue, it makes it very hard to see anything thats going on. Figure out what you want the viewer to see and make that the focus. Good luck

    "The whole point of practice is to do it until you can do it right." - dpaint

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  4. #3
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    thanks element1988. You're right, it needs a lot of improving. I took your critic and tried to make the monk more of a focal point. I also lightened the black areas and made the character larger as the first image shows. Then I tried to make a sketchup model so I could visualise what angles I wanted more easily. Then I imported these files into photoshop and did some sketches over them. I added some quick values to one of the sketches but I'm not sure the angle has the best narrative in the world and doesn't emphasise the focal point. Keep the critique coming, I want to continue to work on this image but I'm also doing some fundamental stuff alongside it.
    Critique needed

    Critique needed

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  5. #4
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    Have you tried creating your original scene in sketchup, to see what the perspective would look like and maybe play with the viewpoint a bit? That might be interesting. I'm not sure if you would really be able to see the monk at all, it might just be a suggestive glow coming out of the chamber. Maybe lift the big black diagonal, and just leave a bit of it at the top. It might be good also to take one of your other sketches a bit further, I like the second one down, the overhead view. Not sure about the view from behind the monk. It's a good idea using sketchup for perspective though.

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  6. #5
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    Your drawings on top of the 3D underlay show that you don't understand how perspective works yet (e.. the "spikes" on the table go off to a VP that isn't on the horizon line and lots of other inconsistencies). You'll have to take care of these barebone fundamentals before approaching something like this. I recommend Norling: Perspective made easy

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  7. #6
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    Thanks Popicok. I think i want to move away from that angle but I think you're right that you would probably only see the glow. Yeah I think I'll move away from that angle it isn't quite working. Thanks Benedikt I've downloaded the book so I'll get reading that. I'll probably come back to this after a good read. I know I've got a lot of fundamental stuff to learn but I still want to use this as a project to help me improve therefore I am not abandoning it completely

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  8. #7
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    Critique needed
    Tried redeveloping a picture over at based on a rabbit mech. I did quite a lot of designs (Refer to my sketchbook) and compositions but now moving on to values I am struggling the narrative is that the Rabbitbot is protecting its lair (behind) from the foxbots. Any suggestions would be great.

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  9. #8
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    I have no idea whats going on in this one.

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  10. #9
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    right so you think its reading badly?

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  11. #10
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    Absolutely, keep working on it.

    And make a sketchbook.

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