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Her right arm is bugging me, and I've been back and forth with it for a while. It looks stiff and maybe even short to me. Looking for suggestions on what to do with the arm and hand to make it look correct and dynamic. Or if it would work to place it across her lap though that's away from the viewer.
I don't mind if people draw over it or give feedback on the rest of it.
In the mean time I was going to finish the portrait on the wall and get started with the scenery/effects.
It doesn't read like a human figure at all I'm afraid.
Try using reference (shoot it yourself if you have to).
The perspective of the floor is really jarring. And if the camera angle is lopsided for an effect, the figure should be sitting perpendicular to the ground. If you tilted the image horizontally you would see what i mean.
Thanks for the input! I rotated the image and the suggested alterations in Manga Studio and I saw the difference. I redrew the problem arm and I was going to trace over it in the painting tonight or tomorrow.
Depending I'll have the after shot soon.
You think that the issues are with the main figure?
I am sorry to break this down to you, but this picture consists from "issues" you just don't see yet. :/
Loomis, half a year of practice - in pencil, on paper, from life. That's the quickest way to fix the issues.
Book recommendation: "Successful Drawing" by Loomis, "Perspective Made Easy" by Norling.
I've done a lot of correcting based on feedback. I noticed the difference and I hope it looks better!
This work is a huge departure from my comfort zone and I'm thinking I shouldn't rely on 3D modeling unless it's a last resort. Still wondering if the overall composition is a mess. I added some of the recommended books to my amazon wish list.
This is what you get from 3D modeling?! OMG! You could do better with a sketch. The hand looks like its growing out of the head. It should be a touch smaller because it's in the distance and the foot should be a bit larger because its closer to the viewer. The white area on the right, is that part of the robe? Too flat. Her lower half is flat, it doesn't look like she's sitting on her haunches. The line down the middle looks more like she's wearing jeans. The design on the back of the robe is really neat, you do well with details and colors. You are good at some things and other things need work, it's a place to start anyway. Good luck with it.
I thought I'd try a model to get help on the angle of the floor and such. I'm seeing now that it's causing most of my issues. To fix her left arm, would it help to raise it more? I'll have to work with her angle and curves which could make it more interesting. It may help with the mood I'm trying to achieve. I may have some references of women sitting in kimono at the angle I'm going for. I may see if I can just shade the seam line or leave it out to see which looks better. Looking at it now it does look like she doesn't seem to be on her legs.This is what you get from 3D modeling?! OMG! You could do better with a sketch. The hand looks like its growing out of the head. It should be a touch smaller because it's in the distance and the foot should be a bit larger because its closer to the viewer. The white area on the right, is that part of the robe? Too flat. Her lower half is flat, it doesn't look like she's sitting on her haunches. The line down the middle looks more like she's wearing jeans. The design on the back of the robe is really neat, you do well with details and colors. You are good at some things and other things need work, it's a place to start anyway. Good luck with it.
My mom's dragging me to something this afternoon, but I'm taking the original sketch with me. I hope to work on it then. I just got evernote so I'll see if I can put some references there and access them on my phone or laptop.
I enjoyed painting the kimono and I wouldn't mind being able to show more of it in this. I had a previous design that was a bit plain and I redid it in marker in one of my sketchbooks (dumbly not marker paper). The obi was inspired by one I found on Ichiroya.
I agree with whoever said lacking in the fundamentals. -- figure drawing, perspective, light and shadow. Maybe you or you mom can do the pose, get a photo and see what you think then. A lot of space around the figure doesn't really convey the idea of a small figure seen from above. Old film noir movies can be a good reference for how to situate the figure. You are not going to learn everything from one piece, you do more and more illustrations, write down your intentions for each piece and practice the fundamentals as you go along. Don't start getting into the habit of perfecting one picture -- it's time better spent on tackling one or two issues you realize you have trouble with from working on this picture and move on to another piece. Unfortunately, the best thing you can learn from every picture is what you DON'T know. But if you keep it at it, you will learn. And look for ways to include the things you like to do in each picture -- like the colorful design on the robe.
They are right the composition, perspective, and anatomy are all very off. The kimono design and idea of it is good though. But the concept of how it is put together is a little strange. We would imagine that an important person who we're guessing passed away, their picture would be hung up in the middle of the room. Tucking it in the corner of the room there just seems a little odd. If you look for images of japanese shrines in the home you will see how detailed they are when compared to yours.These are things you cant fix simply from changing a line or two here and there, its probably best to start fresh. But don't give up everyone believes you can do fantastic work one day, you can!
I can sum up the issues at bit more clearly and constructively, I think. The idea for the image isn't a bad one at all. I kind of liked the original jarring perspective, but the figure needed to be integrated into the space a little more.
Ok so here's the issue. It's a procedural one. Your process is this: Draw the Outline > Color everything in. The simplicity of it hurts the result. There are no checks and balances, so you have to way of knowing for sure if you're doing things right. This process is the one that EVERY beginner has with almost no exceptions. It's very direct.
The Structural Drawing (Loomis/Vilppu/Kevin Chen) Process is this: Gesture > Forms > Check balance, proportion, angles, negative shapes > Refine Forms and Gesture > Add Anatomy and Details > Posterize into a Light Side and Dark Side > Establish the Shadow Core > Refine the Light and Shadows > Bind the Outline. It's a more complex process, but it can still be done quickly and with more accuracy than the usual intuitive process. When you master this process you can draw anything, plus you can compress the steps when you're really good at this.
We'll work on each step of that process if you want, as well as explore the connections and relationships as well as the reason the order goes that way.
So anyway, don't get discouraged. Just get ready to make some big changes, and you'll be happy with a new process I promise.