Paintover needed

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  1. #1
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    Paintover needed

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    Hi, this is my second full-rendered piece, I see that focal point got lost somehow but i can't fix it, i tried adding the light but it just didn't look right, someone paintover this please? I'd appreciate your help a lot!!
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  3. #2
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    This suffers mainly because of composition, you are trying to go for a dynamic look but the figure looks static and cramped, like you tried to fit her inside the borders. Just a 10min tweak is all it takes to give you a better result, let the wings guide the viewer to the face, which I assume is the main focus. Also vary the leg position so they look more natural. Anyway hope this helps a bit.

    cheers.

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  4. #3
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    It's cool, but the story is unclear to me. Why is she looking to the right? What's she calling to? Or is it that she's recoiling from something? Is she flying or falling? Her line of action could be exaggerated to make it obvious how she's moving. Right now, it's kinda straight up and down, there's no curve to her body, all her limbs seem to be pulling in different directions. I'm not sure why her legs are bent, or why one wing is bent and the other appears not to be. More dynamicness! More big movement affecting everything (or at least making it obvious where the forces are -- btw I highly recommend Force by Mike Mattesi).

    That said, it's a neat design, and I can see that there is some kind of interesting story/setting, even if I can't entirely tell what it is currently.

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  5. #4
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    fireblade whoa, that looks better, i had trouble fitting in her figure because her wings were too large and as for the legs i wanted to do that but i got stuck with anatomy/whatever harpies have
    thanks a lot! i appreciate your help.

    Last edited by juliagun; July 24th, 2014 at 10:54 AM.
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  6. #5
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    Lulie I didn't have any story in my head cause I did this as a practice piece. I took a random game card and painted it in my own interpretation.
    Thanks a lot for advice! I will consider it.

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  7. #6
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    In that case, what were you trying to practise?

    If this is to do your own interpretation of a game card, presumably there's a story behind the card.

    The thing about story is that it's not just an unimportant element of a picture -- it affects the whole composition, the meaning of what you're looking at, how the viewer's eye moves around and understands the piece.

    It doesn't have to be a full story, just a description of what's happening, and optionally why. Like "she just jumped off a rock that overhangs some lava" with optional "because she wanted to get away from the lava" or "because she's making a cool pose to the viewer" or "because she wants to show an enemy that she's strong".

    All of these affect composition.
    It affects whether she's in a confident outstretched pose, or in a cowering curled up pose.
    It affects what lighting you choose: Do you emphasise the burning danger of the lava, or the dramatic storm clouds? Do you make the scene mostly a sweltering warm hue, or a more relaxed cool environment? Will she be mostly lit up from the overcast sky, or a break in the clouds with the sun showing through, or from the lava below?
    It affects your focal point: What do you want to draw attention to, and why? Do you draw attention to her menacing expression? Or her feet which only just escaped the lava? Or boobs because fanservice? Or helmet because it's a cool design?

    If you're just using an existing card to practise something, considering all these things may not be relevant, but maybe be clear that you're just practising the one thing and don't want crits on the rest. Posting the reference card might also be helpful for people to crit whatever you're looking to practise.

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  8. #7
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    I'm gonna second fireblade, what's the story? what's the scene?
    and also add my own 3 coppers..
    I feel like this is more like a death scene then anything else.. the mood is so foreboding/melancholy.. if you wanna go that route; All it's missing are some arrows a little blood and maybe a leg correction

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  9. #8
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    Here is a more drastic edit.
    I would extend the frame. (As it's only practice I assume your not confined to certain dimensions?) Get the head away from the edge of the frame, and add more shape to the wings. The legs definitely need some asymmetry, use them to lead the eye up to the face if you can, or make a nice diagonal for the composition. This does leave a bit of space in the bottom right however.
    You can still fill her full arrows with this pose too...

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    Last edited by Moirae; July 25th, 2014 at 06:36 PM. Reason: can't spell
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