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Thread: WIP - Need Fresh Eyes
May 12th, 2014 #1
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The jetfighters are leading the viewer out of the painting for sure. The idea is to show that they killed that creature right ?
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May 12th, 2014 #3
I think that it looks really nice. The ocean, the hill, the sky. That being said. I really can't figure out what that thing on the ground is supposed to be.
My sketchbook http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=128951
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May 13th, 2014 #4
Oops, yeah it does kind of look like a dead animal doesn't it? The thing in the foreground is supposed to be the remains of a propeller from an old WW2 plane, with the two modern jets as a contrast between old and new.
Still need to do lots of work to the foreground - make that propeller actually look like one, lol. But here's a quick update. Moved the jets around a little, and softened them and the island to throw them back a bit.
Hope it reads better?
Thanks for the feedback! Much appreciated.
May 13th, 2014 #5
I like the colours overall.
What stood out immediately to me is issues with scale. Most prominent on the jetfighters, they look like miniatures. You need to push them more into the distance with atmospheric perspective and tighten your edges and lines on them, use the selection tool to do that instead of painting freehand.
The same problem applies to the detail on the water, looks out of scale to me. Look at references and concentrate on the visual noise and how it changes as the sea recedes towards the horizon. On a side note, the sea also looks a bit too saturated to me.
The prop in the foreground suffers from not being recognizable as such The material looks like bone/antlers and the overall appearance/shape just doesn't suggest a prop. There's too much value changes on the surface. Doesn't look smooth (more like bone, as I said). Make heavy use of reference to fix this.
Straighten your horizon line, it is wobbly in some places.
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May 13th, 2014 #6
I had to laugh at me thinking it was some type of giant dead moth creature. Now I see the propeller...
May 13th, 2014 #7
Lol, no worries Stephou. It does need lots of work.
Benedikt, thanks for the feedback! Great suggestions all round - I knew the water would come back to bite me. Think I was just waiting for someone else to say it needs fixing too. The propeller ref I'm using is pretty blown out lightwise, and because of the surface (some kind of galvanised metal or alloy) it's got a white bloom over it rather than rust. Will need to rethink how I'm portraying it because it does look more like bone/organic matter at the moment. I've also never used the selection tool for what you describe (always just painted everything freehand) so it'll be interesting to see how the jets turn out with that.
Will be away for a few days but will finish this when I get back.
Thanks again everyone for the feedback!
May 13th, 2014 #8
I knew right away what I was looking at, but then I live in Sussex. We still turn up bits of the Battle of Britain every day.
It's a cool idea, and there's nothing wrong with telling the story left to right. But I think it would be more dramatic if the propeller were larger and closer, and the jets were disappearing behind it. Leading you in to the picture rather than across it.
I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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May 25th, 2014 #9
May 25th, 2014 #10