Kauai Woman (help w/ Alphonse Mucha style flow & color)

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  1. #1
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    Kauai Woman (help w/ Alphonse Mucha style flow & color)

    I need this to be stellar, it is going to be an 4x8 print for my grandfathers upscale store. The pose and the girl is my favorite picture of my girlfriend.
    I got this far and I want to push it more I have never done this style before. I feel like the flow of the composition is weak. Any suggestions?Name:  Jenisa-Hawaii-4.png
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Size:  1.34 MB.
    Name:  Jenisa-Hawaii.png
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    Im not sure if I want to do a decorative motief,


    or detail the environment and use cutouts and negative space,


    I really like the color here
    Attachment 1954990


    I would also like to integrate birds and more exotic flowers




    Someone help me get my wheels going again! thanks!

    Last edited by Raptor; May 9th, 2014 at 10:38 PM. Reason: new content
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  3. #2
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    It's looking pretty Mucha-y so far, Raptor. You've got the varying line widths and the Mucha hair.

    Your figure is looking solid, too, so don't take this as a criticism, but think of it as you work: the most striking thing about Mucha to me is that, although his figures look like very simple line drawings, every tiny bump and curve of his outline is conveying precise anatomical information. There's a collarbone here, or a fat pad there, or a fleshy bit over here. It's just stunning.

    Anyway, don't add anything that takes away from the strong silhouette of the central female figure.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  4. #3
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    I like the unfinished one on the left better then the right. I think I changed her bone structure while rendering her. how do I fix/ make her face killer?
    Name:  Jenisa-hawaii-face.png
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  5. #4
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    I updated the OP with my progress. still needing flow help.

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  6. #5
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    Take some time to reconstruct her face! The reason your sketch looks better is that our visual system is kind enough to fill the gaps, while your rendering has some flaws, especially around the eyes and the glabella. This is too bad, as I love everything else! In a stylised style like art deco, it is essential to get the face right.

    Study, for instance, Loomis face construction, and reduce the face to blocks and planes. Use this to plan your values...

    Edit: the hands need work, too

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  7. #6
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    The copy paste in the birds is really noticeable. It makes the piece feel lazy. Also, the folds on the skirt don't look right, and the yellow flowers seem to be bending against the wind that is moving her hair. If you'd arch the yellow flowers in the opposite direction and get rid of the white birds on the left side of the piece you'd get a better flow, I think.

    気計 - Quike
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  8. #7
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    For some reason, I want the outline to be thinner or lighter in color where her weight is pressing down. Like her fingers and the contact point of her thighs. I know it's illogical that body weight would squeeze line art, but my brain wants that to happen.

    Overall, looking good. I agree with Quike about the birds - make sure you varying them up a bit or the copy-paste does sore thumb.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  9. #8
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    hi! Nice job so far. You can tell instantly, that this is inspired by Mucha.
    Think more like drawing the picture, more graphical shapes, lines and folds. Less painterly style.
    In compostition i would add more symmetry to it. For example flip these birds on left horizontaly. So they are flying away in both directions. Same goes with yellow flowers and palm fronds - more symmetry.
    White birds are the best part in my opinion. They are looking really mucha-ish. And play with fabric, try to make it more lively. i would suggest bigger, bold graphical shapes and finer detail in point of interest eg. face or upper body. Making a "frame" out of palm fonds might work.. as Mucha often did...
    Good luck!

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  10. #9
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    By the way -- take heart! You're getting a lot of criticism because this is coming together nicely. If that makes sense...

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  11. #10
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    Not sure if Newbies / noobs are allowed to give feedback too, but I will simply do it now. Please tell me if I should shut up.

    As Quike already stated, the stamped birds are to obvious. But I guess that would be easy to fix with some wing & head position adjustments and some colour variations for the small birds.
    I personally would just get rid of the right-hand third of the painting, and reverse the palm trees right-hand to the figure. The thumbnail which is shown in the forum preview (it shows the left upper part) is, in my opinion, awesome.

    And the colours are beautiful. I would love to see the finished piece.

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  12. #11
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    Thank you everyone for the comments. Rosin, n00bs are welcome
    I like the mirrored birds, but if I have time I might change out one side to be a different bird anyways.

    MY to-do list:
    1. figure negative white space & graphical shapes
    2. reconstruct the face
    3. birds.
    4. overpaint the fine details
    5. vary lineweights. (Stoat you have a great portfolio, lineweight i am novice at.)

    Name:  4-koloa-samples.jpg
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    The aspect ratio is for the sign but I left lots of bleed to rearrange for posters and different sizes
    I will also be playing with symmetry a bit more and perhaps some graphical waves.
    attached is my first stabs at decorative graphic elements. My graphics side is admittedly weak. I have shape, fill and stroke color to flounder with. I left a blank one in case anyone wanted to play around with it.

    Name:  koloa-sample-full-canvas.jpg
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  13. #12
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    Hey Raptor, pretty nice looking right now. Comp 3, with the white type looks the best from a graphics side. I feel like to put a little more Mucha in it, you will need to find another color to outline her arms in, they're getting lost compared to the legs. Also watch your lines, he tends to outline on external silhouettes, but internal stuff is mainly shading, especially on hands.
    This is a very nice piece though, so keep pushing it.

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  14. #13
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    It looks really nice. My biggest issue with it is the hands though. My eyes are drawn to them because of the really thick outline and they look really clunky, especially the one right by her thigh. I think that you sticked close to you your reference photograph and while it looks realistic unfortunately it is not very elegant. Study some more Mucha paintings and pay close attention to how he arranges the hands.

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