Webcomic Critique Requested!

**G-FalconDX** · January 31st, 2014

Hi. This is the 1st time I've posted here, despite signing up a long time ago. So I have a webcomic that I've been working on. It is a personal project of mine that started a long time ago, and I need some general advice on it. There is no color on it, yet. I don't really know how to post pics here, but I'll provide the link to the pages here:

http://g-falcondx.deviantart.com/gallery/47029847

Any advice would be great. Thank you!

**dolmen** · January 31st, 2014

Well artistically its still a bit early to tell but I think your paneling is a bit too formulaic. That diagonal on your second page is far too cramped and more extreme than it needs to be. I liked page 3 and 6.

3 because the page felt like a release from the second page and 6 because you had action. Had I not gotten to see that I'd not have felt as interested in what was going on...

Which takes me to my core point. As a Webcomic the story beginning, middle and end are vital. While I understand a need for an intro or prologue, it really was a chore to read through to get to the fun part of the comic which was the chase.

I'd advize shuffling the order and catching us with action first then doing the introduction through the eyes and ears of the main character. That said the story shows promise. avoide as many tropes as possible while sticking to your planned story and I think it could become something really interesting.

**Benedikt** · January 31st, 2014

The slanted handwriting-font is incredibly annoying to read like this. Didn't even get through the first page.

**G-FalconDX** · January 31st, 2014

Originally Posted by dolmen

Well artistically its still a bit early to tell but I think your paneling is a bit too formulaic. That diagonal on your second page is far too cramped and more extreme than it needs to be. I liked page 3 and 6.

3 because the page felt like a release from the second page and 6 because you had action. Had I not gotten to see that I'd not have felt as interested in what was going on...

Which takes me to my core point. As a Webcomic the story beginning, middle and end are vital. While I understand a need for an intro or prologue, it really was a chore to read through to get to the fun part of the comic which was the chase.

I'd advize shuffling the order and catching us with action first then doing the introduction through the eyes and ears of the main character. That said the story shows promise. avoide as many tropes as possible while sticking to your planned story and I think it could become something really interesting.

Yeah, I figured I may have to redo the intro. I drew the 1st few pages when I really didn't know much about drawing comics. And it was drawn with paper and pencil.

**G-FalconDX** · January 31st, 2014

Yeah, I figured that I need to rework the intro so that it'll look better in terms of panel placement, etc.

**darnis** · January 31st, 2014

Above poster brings up a good point;

You might think that having a proper font isn't very important but there's a whole branch of study devoted to fonts and how we perceive them.. which is why Comic sans isn't used for serious research papers and the like.. stick with a good serif font.. or something, I couldn't read the first panel and just skimmed..

**mirichuuei** · February 1st, 2014

Hi there,
I think that the overall look is too static, there is not much movement going on. Try working with pen pressure to make it more dynamic looking.

**arenhaus** · February 1st, 2014

Study the drawing fundamentals. Perspective, structural drawing and anatomy foremost, but don't shirk on lighting and composition.

Also, try drawing in traditional media, pencil for sketching and ink for drawing. Digital adds a layer of unnecessary indirection which is a hurdle for a beginner, and your technique will progress faster with pencil and ink.

Book recommendations: "Successful Drawing" by Loomis, "Understanding Comics" and "Making Comics" by Scott McCloud.

**Calireayn** · February 1st, 2014

I'll say this for what it's worth, because I'm not sure if this is the kind of critique you want or not, and I know it'll sound harsh:

Remove the first four pages. You're infodumping for no reason. Prologues, when they're included in books, do nothing but drag down the story 90% of the time, because they're random author waffling on the backstory. And that's what I see here.

Comics are visual. You should be able to convey the setting/backstory through visual cues. What you've got right now is a lot of waffling laid over generic sci-fi landscapes and costumes, followed by some disjointed action that does nothing to convey any important info about the main character. There's no story hook here.

I think you should work on the basics, then do a lot - a LOT - of character studies and landscapes in order to define the style and tone of the story. Then take a hard look at the story itself, script it out in concise arcs of the length of your choice, and then start over.

**G-FalconDX** · February 2nd, 2014

Originally Posted by darnis

Above poster brings up a good point;

You might think that having a proper font isn't very important but there's a whole branch of study devoted to fonts and how we perceive them.. which is why Comic sans isn't used for serious research papers and the like.. stick with a good serif font.. or something, I couldn't read the first panel and just skimmed..

Yeah. I see that now. I will have to use something else. Maybe a serif font like Palatino, or Garamond. Will that work?

**G-FalconDX** · February 2nd, 2014

Originally Posted by Calireayn

I'll say this for what it's worth, because I'm not sure if this is the kind of critique you want or not, and I know it'll sound harsh:

Remove the first four pages. You're infodumping for no reason. Prologues, when they're included in books, do nothing but drag down the story 90% of the time, because they're random author waffling on the backstory. And that's what I see here.

Comics are visual. You should be able to convey the setting/backstory through visual cues. What you've got right now is a lot of waffling laid over generic sci-fi landscapes and costumes, followed by some disjointed action that does nothing to convey any important info about the main character. There's no story hook here.

I think you should work on the basics, then do a lot - a LOT - of character studies and landscapes in order to define the style and tone of the story. Then take a hard look at the story itself, script it out in concise arcs of the length of your choice, and then start over.

I'm not too sure if I have the time to really start over. I am planning on getting rid of the 1st 4 pages and maybe the 5th, because I drew them back when I didn't really have the story and the character designs down and I do want to redo the intro that will properly introduce the world and part of the backstory down.

**G-FalconDX** · February 4th, 2014

Thank you guys so much for all the critique. I think I know what I need to do now. I know now where I stand now. I really appreciate all the replies, advice and tips that you've given me.