View Poll Results: When was the last time you read a Marvel Comic from cover to cover

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  • Never Have

    7 43.75%
  • Within the last week

    1 6.25%
  • Within the last month

    1 6.25%
  • Within the last year

    2 12.50%
  • A long, long, time ago.

    5 31.25%
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  1. #1
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    A Marvel Experiment

    In March of last year, this scene came to my mind: I saw famous Marvel characters watching Jesus being killed. They were devastated as their leader was dying.

    Later, these questions kept coming to me:

    How might the crucifixion and the stations of the cross look like in a Marvel Universe? Could he die another way besides crucifixion?

    What Marvel characters would be Jesus' 12 disciples? What character would I be? Who would you be?

    Who would betray Jesus, who would kill him, and why? And why would he even need to die in a Marvel Universe?

    Any thoughts?


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  3. #2
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    Jebus is a superhero in Marvel universe. Perhaps an alien from another dimension, who had magic healing powers and could subvert people's minds to turn them to good, and build an unstoppable army of zealous followers! He took a secret identity of Chris, a meek healer from a small provincial town. He was joined by other superheroes of lesser power, like Pete the Fisher who could conjure fish out of thin air, TaxMatt, who was a tax accountant with mad skillz, and Johnny Know-all who could make up an answer to any question, provided that the answer did not have to be correct.

    Unfortunately, his budding empire of good ran afoul by the evil overlord Tiberius, who was building his World Empire of Evil and hated competition. Tiberius, via his flunkies Ciafus and Pontius (Marvel could not use Pilate because they could not negotiate the name use with that fitness brand) dispersed Jebus's followers and put him to death. Being an evil villain, he couldn't just kill Jebus and be done with it; he made Jebus suffer by nailing him on a cross and telling him all his evil plans before he died.

    But at the last moment, when Tiberius was already performing his mad cackle and hand rubbing schtick, much to the admiration of the flunkies, Jebus's dad came to the rescue from the alien dimension! He healed Jebus with wonderful healing powers! And Jebus sprang from a cross, imbued by the power of a thousand alien healers! He grabbed the cross and broke it off at the base! And then he swung it mightily, sending Ciafus and Pontius head over heels (but not so hard as to kill them, because that would prevent them from appearing in sequels.)

    And the evil Tiberius, seeing his evil plans thwarted, cried "This is not over yet!" and activated his jetpack built for him by the mad inventor Alexander Hero, who was generally good but was duped by Tiberius's vile lies. And he flew off to his secret villainous lair under Palatine mountains (Marvel won a minor lawsuit against George Lucas because the name was one letter short of Palpatine(tm) ), where he thought his villainous thoughts, plotted his villainous plots, and planned his villainous plans, and sent his Legions of Doom to thwart the growing good Empire of Chris.

    Want to know how Chris dealt with the Legions of Doom invading the peaceful tribes of Gallia? Buy issue 2 of the thousand-year-long epic saga of Chris's adventures! (Crossover with Asterix!)

    ...

    What?

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  5. #3
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    Never did - I'm from Europe and grew up with Franco-Belgian and Duck comics ;D
    But arenhaus' interpretation is epic!

  6. #4
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  7. #5
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    Well, Marvel has already done Thor and Hercules, and I'm sure Anubis and many other gods have put in appearances. Why not? (I mean aside from the backlash from the Religious Right).

    I'd like to see him resurrected as a vampiric zombie werewolf, having been drawn and quartered and stitched back together Frankenstyle. And of course he teams with the demonic ninja hooker Mary Magdalene - they have a platonic partnership but with loads of sexual tension..
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  8. #6
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    Arenhaus, your interpretation is epic and has me smiling like crazy.

    Curious, what would "an unstoppable army of zealous followers" do in a marvel universe now that Tiberius has escaped?

  9. #7
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    I pictured Thor as one of Jesus' disciples.

    Just curious, what type of backlashes do you think the religious right would have? I guess if Jesus came back as a vampire/zombie and Mary Magdalene and him having a dating relationship there'd be some backlash .

    But would there be a way to create a Jesus story marvel universe in a way that stayed true to the gospel narratives found in the New Testament without being cheesy and/or watered down? And perhaps be more dialogue provoking.

  10. #8
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    Maidith, can you point me to a website to give me some examples of Franco-Belgian and Duck comics, I'm curious.

  11. #9
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    I was just joking around - honestly I have no idea. My spidey sense told me the religious right would find a way to be offended at a comic story where Jesus is depicted alongside superheroes, but I guess it would depend on how it's presented. Offhand I don't think it would work, people like their religious stories to be serious, but then come to think of it I see some pretty silly statements about Jesus on signs and bumperstickers, which were created by churches, so it might work.
    Last edited by Darkstrider; February 2nd, 2014 at 12:39 PM.
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  12. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unc View Post
    Arenhaus, your interpretation is epic and has me smiling like crazy.


    Curious, what would "an unstoppable army of zealous followers" do in a marvel universe now that Tiberius has escaped?
    Why, the writer forgets about it because the editor wants him to focus on Jebus vs Tiberius relationship, hoping to compete with DC on the Batman-Joker front, so it is never brought up again for about eleven issues. Then it suddenly is remembered, but toned down into temporary subversion of masses or single total conversion from evil to good. With epic effects and much gnashing of teeth to show how epically special it is.

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  14. #11
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    So you think it might work in the sense of being silly like bumpstickers ?

  15. #12
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    Haha no of course not! Are you being serious, or just trying to keep the thread alive? Lol..

    It did occur to me after posting that though, that some religious groups probably hate the silly bumper stickers etc, so just because the local Lutheran church has silly signs in front doesn't mean Jerry Falwell and his followers won't rally against anything they find inappropriate. But that's neither here nor there really.

    Personally it's hard for me to see Marvel superheroes in a serious story involving Jesus, but that doesn't mean it can't be done. It would depend on how it's approached. I can kind of see a way, but I'm afraid it might come across 'preachy' (no pun intended, but unavoidable I guess lol) - like when they do a special issue arc that deals with drugs or race relations. Such a serious context can suddenly make the medium itself seem silly or shallow, like imagine The Muppets standing around at the crucifixion. I'm not saying superheroes are as silly as the muppets, but I think a lot of people would see it that way and a lot of believers would be pretty offended.

    Of course that can also work in your favor - I think the Christian picketing of The Exorcist actually brought it a lot of press and increased it's popularity.

    But in the end of course, it comes down to what YOU think. If you're really asking for opinions from a lot of people on whether they think it's a good idea, then it appears you care about the opinions of others, so you might be devastated when the inevitable backlash starts rolling in on something that seems custom-designed to stir up controversy. Usually the people who go ahead and do projects like that don't care what other people think and welcome controversy.

    Then again, I might be overestimating the reaction of the religious community. I mean, it aint the 70's anymore, right? Maybe it'll go down without even making a blip on the radar.
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  16. #13
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    Haha, yea I was trying to keep it alive but also, it did seem like you were implying that it could only be done in a cheesy way. Your points are well taken though about trying to do something serious and it just flopping.

    Your comments are thoughtful and I appreciate it. Seems like a good way to end this thread. Take care.

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