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Hello, I've started this illustration a few months ago and decided to finish it. After some pretty long work session this is where I am at and I would really need some advice on what could be done further and of course related to watever mistakes there are. I feel that I need some beter/more detailed/shaper focus vs unfocused areas to make the eye wonder around the image more but I'm in the monkey house now so I'd better wait a while.
This pigeon-toed stance is ridiculous, sorry.
The details are also ridiculous, like the bend of the hand holding the impossibly heavy sword, or the heavy armor with no helmet, or the bosom breastplate, or the unnecessary belts, some of which are loosed and ready to be tripped over, or (my favorite) the fact that the shield, the shield arm, and the leg form an impossible triangle - but this stance kills everything for me.
I guess this shows the great importance of the planning stages, once again.
As for the focused vs unfocused parts - it's fine overall, but you are smudging the unfocused parts and it shows. It would have been better to just leave them painted roughly or blend the edges - but this hard, directional, digital-looking smudging is too noticeable and not fitting the style.
From the stance I would say she is falling on her back. Her shield is in defensive position, but what is going on with her sword? It just seems to be hanging there for no purpose.
Her defensive stance suggests she just defended against a blow. If she took a blow in her current stance, she would go flying. Her center of gravity needs to be lower.
It would look much better if the sword tip was pointing towards where she is looking.
Haven towards left, Warriors go right.
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I actually disagree with Arenhaus in regards to the details. They seem well thought-out and add a lot of life and background to the image. That being said, everything Arenhaus and Cycrops said about the pose is correct. It's unstable. It seems like her back foot should be holding most of her weight, but it's so far forward that the character would be falling backwards in real life, and this kills the confidence and sturdiness of the pose.
The blurring/smudging of the background and accessories doesn't bother me at all, and I think you succeed in pulling focus to the face.
ALso, keep in mind the lighting situation of the image. You have a very cold, snowy environment and none of this is reading on her face. She seems to be lit by a warm light and it feels out of place, but maybe this was the look you were going for.
Mad props for the rendering. It's killer.
I really like the 'creamy' texture of the paint on her figure, and the colorscheme.
I'm bothered by three things: her tiny face and torso don't balance well with her enormous legs, thighs and shoulders; the way her sword hand is cocked downwards and that upper arm is tucked awkwardly into her body; and the stance. That right leg really needs to turn outward and be seen to hold its share of the weight.
The good news is, most of that is fixable with the lasso tool and a bit of patch repair.
I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
Oh, this was unexpectedly quick and helpful. Thank you all for the very useful feedback, you all make some pretty good points. I kinda jumped in on this on a whim seeking some other objectives and obviously become blind to the obvious. I'll try to reapair as much as possible and see where I am after that. Again, many thanks for the replies, they are very much apreciated.
your painterly style is quite beautiful! the rough brush strokes and colour scheme work well.
The armour design is a bit cliche. it's not a bad thing, just there could be something more original here.
The only really killer element here is the pose and anatomy. She just doesn't look strong enough to be holding that sword, armour and shield.. Her weight looks like it isn't balanced over her feet.
The pose and the boob armour are completely killing it for me. The anatomy needs serous fixing: Her back is arched in an impossible way with all this weight. Her arms seem detached from the torso and her legs are not bearing the weight properly in this position. The boob armour is just plainly not only non functional but dangerous to the bearer. The sword seems like it would get jagged on every thrust.
Apart from that, the render is really nice. I'd define a bit more hair behind the head because right now it is too abrupt.
Last edited by Quike Garcia; June 11th, 2013 at 03:17 AM.
気計 - Quike
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.."
The Spaniard's Sketchbook... No holds barred
I wonder what she is looking at. Her glance takes me out of the picture and makes me wonder what is going on there. There is more space on the side with the sword and hardly any space where she is looking. Not that you necessarily need to show what she is looking at, but the composition just looks a bit uneven to me. Maybe if the sword was pointing where she is looking, like Cyrops suggested, that would solve some of the problem.
I don't know much about color, but I do like the cool color scheme